Fishgang

That stupid field trip had been boring as hell: Stella had seen much better-looking elephants in a goddamned picture book.

Tossing her bag onto the couch, she heaved a sigh as she took a once-over of the room. Her mother had obviously dusted, judging by the smell of cleaning products in the air -- and was probably doing that all upstairs now if the shuffling was anything to judge by. The filter of the fish tank in the corner of the room gave off a bubbling sound that permeated through the room, ever-present except that one time it had been jammed by some sort of rock.

Frowning at it, Stella went over and leaned down to gaze into at at her fish: Wolfgang, the freakiest little fish you ever did see. A very pleasant thing to talk to, anyway. "Having fun in there?"

"Do I...?" Stella frowned for a second into the tank, not sure what to say. She didn't even know where her mother had gotten Wolfgang; she had just said he was "on sale" and left it at that on that faithful afternoon a couple of months ago. Stella was almost sure she had secured him off the black market or something, because she had never seen a fish look anything like him before. "Er, yeah, I love myself. How 'bout you, little buddy?"

She blinked at him, not sure how to respond -- yet again. Goddamned weird thing he was, with his weird... fish face. Why couldn't he have been a regular goldfish? Then she wouldn't have to worry about her friends coming over and being forced to deal with some talking fish -- although he was infinitely more interesting than those orange blobs of nothing.

Stella frowned at him and quickly scanned his tank walls for any signs of algae or some other weird thing like that, in case she needed to clean it. After all, if it ended up like that scene in Finding Nemo when they jammed the filter, her mother would probably have her head. Over a fish she hadn't wanted. Amazing. "No, I like myself. But do you like yourself?"

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

The creep was smiling at her now, like something out of a poorly-budgeted sci-fi movie.

"Er, okay. That's great, buddy. What have you been doing while I was gone?" Maybe he'd murdered someone or something? He looked capable of doing it, even though he wasn't a very big fish. Wolfgang's face seemed to hold too many secrets that Stella would never really want to know about, the goddamned creep. (Again -- why did her mom not get her a regular goldfish?)

She scowled and watched him swim away.

Straightening her back, Stella decided to go make herself something to eat in the kitchen and thus leave the fish to his own... weird grunting noises. Perhaps he was lonely and needed a friend. Pondering this, the girl went into the kitchen and opened up the fridge to take a look inside: pickles, olives, string cheese, bread, mayonnaise, ketchup, orange juice, cold mushroom pizza from last night's lazy dinner because she and Dad didn't want to make anything while Mom was out. Tempest and Aidan certainly hadn't disagreed.

Taking out a slice with a napkin and shutting the door with her foot, she went back in to check on Wolfgang and see if he were somehow constipated thanks to that new fish food her mom had bought. "You okay now, buddy? You need something? Snacks?"

Stella nodded thoughtfully to herself as she glanced at the offerings of fish food sitting on a shelf underneath the tank: fish flakes, some sort of block that allegedly served as several days' worth of food... and mealworms. What the hell was her mother thinking, bringing worms into the house? What were those even for?

Gingerly, she picked up the little container and shook it -- it rattled like a maraca almost. "You want... this stuff? Worms? Mealworms?" Disgusting.

Well, to be fair, Stella would probably have reacted the same way at the prospect of eating those monstrosities.

Taking another bite of pizza, she set the container down and picked up the other container of fish flakes: a cute little plastic blue container half-full with the funky smell of fish flakes emanating from it, but it was probably better than the worms. Stella didn't really want to find out by opening the mealworms up. "How about this? Flakes?"

Did he love flakes? That was cute.

So she popped off the cap of the fish flake bottle. Flipping up the little black plastic flap over the tank with the pinky of her pizza hand, Stella tipped the little container over the water and poured a bit in -- maybe not more than a pinch-and-a-half of the stuff, but she was a terrible judge of measurement. Her mother always hated asking Stella to help her bake.

When that was over and done with she shut the flap and put the container back down next to the tank, plopping the cap back on top and nonchalantly chewing on her pizza. "Bon appetite. Did my mom not feed you this morning?"

"Uhm. October or November. Why? You want to get her a card?" In truth, Stella had no flipping idea when her mom's birthday was. Neither did her father. Whoops. She took a bite of crust and chewed thoughtfully, noting sourly how dry it was and wondering why the hell it already almost tasted stale. Maybe it was just the cold.

Stella narrowed her eyes at him, wondering briefly if he were going to ask for her mother's social security number next. Maybe she was enabling him by responding so often and so seriously, but Wolfgang worked in mysterious ways. Maybe she should sell him to some marine biologist, they'd love him to death. "Yes. Her health is wonderful. Why do you ask?"

"Congratulations, Wolfgang Acerbi. You'll be great for family gatherings. Grandpa would want to fry you." Wouldn't her uncle and aunt get a kick out of this guy? Really. Grandma would try exorcising the damned guy and then Aunt Nia would try to get the thing dissected. Stella plopped herself down onto an armchair about five feet away from the tank, tucked into a corner.

"Still here, hun. What d'ya need?" Pizza was done now, leaving behind a slightly greasy napkin and some crumbs in its wake. Stella watched the tank for a moment before getting up again to dump the napkin in a trash can in the kitchen. It took her about five seconds to walk back to the tank and frown down at Wolfgang, who looked mightily annoyed at her. Maybe he was constipated or something. "More food for you or no?"