Honest Discussions (Private)

It was a cool day for Camp Jupiter, but Leandra would have been sweating instead of shivering if it weren't for the rain. Two hours of intense drilling, mostly sword and shield drills, were held on the Field of Mars, undaunted by a little precipitous weather. She kept herself moving, bouncing on her toes as the cohort was dismissed. She took her helmet off, running a hand over her frizzy helmet hair as she looked over to Gunther, who didn't seem quite as perturbed about the cold weather. Maybe it was his thicker German blood, they had cold winters in Germany, didn't they? "Beautiful day for drills, eh? At least that's what the Centurions think. I think my armor is going to rust onto me." She said, shaking her head as she put the helmet back on mainly just to protect her head from the rain.

Ever since August she had been a lot more quiet than she normally had been. Which was saying something for the daughter of Angerona. Since Solstice, though, she had a motivation to talk to people. Well, to people she trusted. And of all the people in camp, the two highest on that list were Tiberia and Gunther. "You got a moment, Gunther?"

Günther didn't mind this. He didn't mind this in the slightest. He enjoyed practicing drills in the rain because he felt like it acted as a natural cooling system whenever he got hot under all of his imperial gold armor. The chilled air reminded him of the Autumns he spent in Germany with his father when he was a child. Just the thought of it brought a smile to his face. Like Leandra, Günther took off his helmet, turning his attention to his cohort mate. "I think it is. Then again, I like the weather a little gloomy. I'll have to stop by Jupiter's temple to give thanks." The son of Veritas gave Leandra a grin before looking a head, nodding at a few other cohort mates that he knew. "Does imperial gold rust?" That was a question he'd been asking himself for a while, but never really asked anyone. Perhaps he'll ask someone who's been here longer than he has.

"Well, I have more than a moment. Uh, what do you need?" That's the one thing about never having the ability to lie: Technicalities.

OOC: This is so, so late.

"I don't think gold actually rusts at all." Leandra said, looking over to Günther. Her armor wasn't imperial gold, though. Overlapping scales of steel, which could rust. "Didn't see you at Olympus for Solstice. I thought you and your mom were on alright terms. I saw my mom, and to be honest she confused the hell out of me."

Leandra sighed as she busied herself with her gear. "Roman goddess of secrets, holder of the secret name of Rome...wants me to talk. About my feelings. Which Roman teaching says I should just suck up. And...yet I trust her judgdment. Kind of. I dunno. Mostly? Enough that I'm willing to try talking to you. About feelings. I would talk to Tibby, but I, uh, I don't think it would go well."

Günther-Klaus nodded his head. "Mm. I'd have to read up on that for confirmation." He made a mental note to do so. "Oh, I was there. I didn't stay long, though. It was getting a little bit too crowded and...yeah. I'd plan to ask her if, as the goddess of truth, she could keep a secret, but somehow it slipped my mind." He chuckled slightly. "That's good then. Not the being confused part, but seeing her." He'd always wanted to meet Angerona. Günther thought it would be interesting to talk to the goddess who holds the secrets of Rome.

The son of Veritas looked down at the wet grass, watching as some of the damp blades stuck to the sides of his sandals. He would have to clean them off later. Günther listened as Leandra spoke again, glancing over at her every once and a while to show her that he was paying attention. His facial expression changed some when she said that she wanted to talk to him about her feelings. "Oh, I see. Well, you know you can always come to me when I'm busy or sleeping. So, how are you feeling?"

Leandra sighed, shaking her head for a second. "I don't know where to start. I, um, so, August. The automatons. The, uh, the," She took a deep breath, then looked away, then back. "The hellhound. You know, I've always been terrified of hellhounds. Since I first came. And then, I got attacked by a hellhound automaton. I couldn't fight it. I couldn't believe what I was seeing."

She took a deep breath again. It wasn't easy talking about it. Her voice kept halting, but she knew that she needed to keep talking about it. "It hasn't been the same since then. I haven't been the same. Nightmares. Paranoia. Memories of what happened. I can't get them all out of my mind. It's been driving me crazy! Like I'm crawling out of my skin, and not sure of myself."

"It makes me question Rome. What is proper and not. If we're not all crazy."

The son of Veritas listened closer, remembering that awful, cursed day when those creations of Vulcan terrorized Camp Jupiter. He was out helping defend his fellow legionnaires when he heard about Leandra being attacked. "I, myself, was afraid, but not to your magnitude. I'm sorry it had to be a hellhound that attacked you, Leandra."

"Could you see someone about that? Like, talk to a professional about the way you're feeling? Maybe someone in New Rome. I'm sure they could relate to your experience in some way shape or form." He touched her shoulder to show some physical support.

Leandra looked at the hand, then back up to the son of Veritas. "I really don't know if there is anyone in New Rome who would understand. I mean, well, a professional, you know. Because there are so many professionals in New Rome." The sarcasm was something that Leandra regretted, she tried not to be sarcastic with Gunther, because he was the son of Veritas.

"I just don't really know what to do. I mean, Mom said talk to someone I trust. And that's you. Or Tib, but Tib just basically told me to buck up and get over it. To be Roman. Which is not what Mom wants me to do. Because apparently Romans aren't always right, but...the Roman way is really all I've ever known."

Günther's ears started to ring when he heard the sarcastic comment even though he knew that it was sarcasm and not a lie. His powers were weird that way. His hand dropped from her shoulder and letting it swing from his side.

"Well, first off, I'm glad that you're coming to me to talk about your problem. Maybe in order to be a 'Roman', you have to talk about how you feel, ja? To, um, clear your mind so you can be Roman-like?" He hoped that didn't confuse her or anything.

Leandra shrugged and hugged herself protectively. It was hard to talk about how she felt. Half the time she wasn't even sure how she felt. "You know we've both been here a long time. Years. I've been here almost as long as I wasn't here. Ànd I claim Alabama as home, but really, Camp Jupiter is. I have always lived by the Roman life. Live Roman, breathed Roman. I was willing to kill all the Graecii demigods for New Rome's safety."

She took a breath, looking down after she said it. Not many had really been true believers of killing the Greeks, but she had. For New Rome. "Now, I don't know, something feels like it's shifted. I don't feel as safe and secure with the Roman way of life. I don't feel secure anywhere, much less my own barracks. My mind keeps going back over and over to that day, that feeling of utter terror, and I can't, I can't seem to fix it."

The Roman nodded his head slowly as she talked, taking in all of the information. "Yes, I can agree that Camp Jupiter, the Twelve Legion is very important not only because it keeps us safe, but because it's what...we were born into." He stated with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Hm..." Günther clicked his tongue in thought. He needed to learn how to comfort people more often. "I...honestly don't know what to say, Leandra other than I wish that you find closer. Wait, maybe we can...do some exercises that'll help you get over your fear of hellhounds. Start at the root of your problem."