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 Wandering the wastes

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Number of posts : 38
Age : 25
Registration date : 2016-07-09

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PostSubject: Wandering the wastes   Wandering the wastes Icon_minitime7/13/2016, 12:52 am

Everything I've ever hoped for has fallen around me. The life I've led up to this point has flown by, a sparrow in the breeze. Why would anything change?

That's what I told myself.

Oh that I wouldv'e listened. Oh that I would've changed myself, that things around me stayed the same. There once was a girl, perfect in ev'ry way. Perfect for me.

I sent her away.

I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for the twists and turns of life. With her at my side, perhaps I would have prevailed. Perhaps today would look a very diff'rent day.

I guess it wasn't to be.

Ev'ry so often I see her. I hear her call out with joy. But not to me. Ne'er to me. I suppose I'm not surprised. My lie wasn't to her, it was to I. I betrayed my heart of hearts and muse here while I die.

I am ashamed.

I was scared, as scared as a boy could be. The world was moving fast, and I was stuck in place. The world kept turning and I was sick.

Does a mental sickness count in the hearts of humanity?

It should. I ne'er wanted her to see me that way. I did a lot of wrong, and not much right. I was a scoundrel, a thief, and a liar. Did i deserve her?

No. I did not.

Yet thinking back, I remember. Her tears as I left. My tears after. The years of pain and sorrow that followed. The hurt I carried in my heart of hearts.

So I betrayed myself, so all betrayed me.

My nights of joy are all but passed now. I have naught to look for. No hope to scrabble for. No light to look for. Tis a long breath I shall take upon my last.

Believe me now, when I speak of curses?

I am so cursed. Cursed by those closest to me. Cursed to wander. To walk. I cast out my love, and so forevermore I move.

Horizon to horizon. I've walked end to end.

Would I repeat my mistake? Ne'er again. Though it matters not. No chance shall I receive. No chance of reprieve. My lust for change has changed me.

And not for the better.

A broken man lies before you. The blood and sweat mingling in the dirt. They are my life's work. All that I have wrought since then has been for naught.

Why then do I ask for salvation?

What grants me the right?

My survival hinges on an answer that I cannot give. Had I stayed the course I set upon, would I have lived?

The answer doesn't come. A rattling breath hits the blistering air. My last. The last in a long series of breaths that gave nothing and took everything.

I have a lot to answer for.

You there. Tell my story. Tell the tale of the foolish mouse. Afraid of the lioness he loved. Tell them of the song I could never write. Tell them of my struggle. Write. Tell them.

That this life of wrong may ne'er repeat itself. Tell them, love. With my last breath, I apologize. An apology that spans worlds. And hopefully, touches the heart I can no longer touch.
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Number of posts : 1
Age : 1950
Registration date : 2019-04-16

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PostSubject: Re: Wandering the wastes   Wandering the wastes Icon_minitime4/16/2019, 2:15 pm

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