Everything I've ever hoped for has fallen around me. The life I've led up to this point has flown by, a sparrow in the breeze. Why would anything change?
That's what I told myself.
Oh that I wouldv'e listened. Oh that I would've changed myself, that things around me stayed the same. There once was a girl, perfect in ev'ry way. Perfect for me.
I sent her away.
I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for the twists and turns of life. With her at my side, perhaps I would have prevailed. Perhaps today would look a very diff'rent day.
I guess it wasn't to be.
Ev'ry so often I see her. I hear her call out with joy. But not to me. Ne'er to me. I suppose I'm not surprised. My lie wasn't to her, it was to I. I betrayed my heart of hearts and muse here while I die.
I am ashamed.
I was scared, as scared as a boy could be. The world was moving fast, and I was stuck in place. The world kept turning and I was sick.
Does a mental sickness count in the hearts of humanity?
It should. I ne'er wanted her to see me that way. I did a lot of wrong, and not much right. I was a scoundrel, a thief, and a liar. Did i deserve her?
No. I did not.
Yet thinking back, I remember. Her tears as I left. My tears after. The years of pain and sorrow that followed. The hurt I carried in my heart of hearts.
So I betrayed myself, so all betrayed me.
My nights of joy are all but passed now. I have naught to look for. No hope to scrabble for. No light to look for. Tis a long breath I shall take upon my last.
Believe me now, when I speak of curses?
I am so cursed. Cursed by those closest to me. Cursed to wander. To walk. I cast out my love, and so forevermore I move.
Horizon to horizon. I've walked end to end.
Would I repeat my mistake? Ne'er again. Though it matters not. No chance shall I receive. No chance of reprieve. My lust for change has changed me.
And not for the better.
A broken man lies before you. The blood and sweat mingling in the dirt. They are my life's work. All that I have wrought since then has been for naught.
Why then do I ask for salvation?
What grants me the right?
My survival hinges on an answer that I cannot give. Had I stayed the course I set upon, would I have lived?
The answer doesn't come. A rattling breath hits the blistering air. My last. The last in a long series of breaths that gave nothing and took everything.
I have a lot to answer for.
You there. Tell my story. Tell the tale of the foolish mouse. Afraid of the lioness he loved. Tell them of the song I could never write. Tell them of my struggle. Write. Tell them.
That this life of wrong may ne'er repeat itself. Tell them, love. With my last breath, I apologize. An apology that spans worlds. And hopefully, touches the heart I can no longer touch.
That's what I told myself.
Oh that I wouldv'e listened. Oh that I would've changed myself, that things around me stayed the same. There once was a girl, perfect in ev'ry way. Perfect for me.
I sent her away.
I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for the twists and turns of life. With her at my side, perhaps I would have prevailed. Perhaps today would look a very diff'rent day.
I guess it wasn't to be.
Ev'ry so often I see her. I hear her call out with joy. But not to me. Ne'er to me. I suppose I'm not surprised. My lie wasn't to her, it was to I. I betrayed my heart of hearts and muse here while I die.
I am ashamed.
I was scared, as scared as a boy could be. The world was moving fast, and I was stuck in place. The world kept turning and I was sick.
Does a mental sickness count in the hearts of humanity?
It should. I ne'er wanted her to see me that way. I did a lot of wrong, and not much right. I was a scoundrel, a thief, and a liar. Did i deserve her?
No. I did not.
Yet thinking back, I remember. Her tears as I left. My tears after. The years of pain and sorrow that followed. The hurt I carried in my heart of hearts.
So I betrayed myself, so all betrayed me.
My nights of joy are all but passed now. I have naught to look for. No hope to scrabble for. No light to look for. Tis a long breath I shall take upon my last.
Believe me now, when I speak of curses?
I am so cursed. Cursed by those closest to me. Cursed to wander. To walk. I cast out my love, and so forevermore I move.
Horizon to horizon. I've walked end to end.
Would I repeat my mistake? Ne'er again. Though it matters not. No chance shall I receive. No chance of reprieve. My lust for change has changed me.
And not for the better.
A broken man lies before you. The blood and sweat mingling in the dirt. They are my life's work. All that I have wrought since then has been for naught.
Why then do I ask for salvation?
What grants me the right?
My survival hinges on an answer that I cannot give. Had I stayed the course I set upon, would I have lived?
The answer doesn't come. A rattling breath hits the blistering air. My last. The last in a long series of breaths that gave nothing and took everything.
I have a lot to answer for.
You there. Tell my story. Tell the tale of the foolish mouse. Afraid of the lioness he loved. Tell them of the song I could never write. Tell them of my struggle. Write. Tell them.
That this life of wrong may ne'er repeat itself. Tell them, love. With my last breath, I apologize. An apology that spans worlds. And hopefully, touches the heart I can no longer touch.