A place for Percy Jackson and the Olympian fans to roleplay.


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    The Child of Chaos

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    The Child of Chaos Empty The Child of Chaos

    Post by Guest 11/4/2013, 5:00 pm

    The Child Of Chaos
    By Matthew Averill




    Hello. You probably don’t know me because of that big shot Percy Jackson that made my half-sister look bad a few decades back. All high and mighty. And the gods think he’s the most powerful demigod to be born. HA. Perhaps I should introduce myself. I am Admes, son of Chaos.
    Ever heard of Gaea and Ouranos? My half-sister and brother. I’m not immortal, (technically) but I can make myself immortal. How? You ask. I’ll explain. Chaos (XAOS) is Good + Bad. Nobody knows what will happen when they meet my daddy. That’s why my name means unknown. I can snap, and the world will blow up. I can freeze time, better than the lord of time himself, Kronos. When I grow old, I remember my young self, and I become  young again. Celestial Bronze nor Imperial gold can penetrate me. When the first woman was born, she grew up to be the mother of me. I was one of the original Argonauts. I am older than all of the Gods and most of the Titans.
    So there.
    You should understand now. I AM Chaos. I am everything. I am nothing.
    So let’s start the story. I am a lone demigod. I don’t go to that sissy half-blood camp. But I visit sometimes. This story takes place in the woods of Camp Half-Blood.
    I was standing in the woods watching Luke (I think he became my favorite demigod after this) and the brave (read-big shot) Percy jackson talk.
    “You miss being on a quest?” said luke.”  “With monsters
    attacking me every three feet? Are you kidding?”
    Luke raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I miss it” Percy admitted.”You?” Luke lowered his head.” I’ve lived at Half-Blood hill year-round since I was fourteen.” He said.”Ever since Thalia....well,you know.
      I trained, and trained, and trained.I never got to be a real teenager, out there in the real world.Then they threw me one quest,and when I came back, it was like “Okay, ride’s over, have a nice life.”Then luke crumpled up a can and threw it in the lake, which surprised Percy, probably because he was fond of the naiads.
       “The heck with laurel wreaths. I’m not going to end up like those dusty trophies in the Big House attic.” Luke said. ”You  make it sound like you’r leaving.” Luke gave a twisted smile.” Oh I’m leaving all right, Percy. I just brought you down here to say goodbye.”
       That’s why I jumped into Percy. I don’t know why I wanted to save him. I could’ve killed them both on the spot. But I didn’t. I molded with Percy and let him control his body a little bit more. The collision was strong, and my vision was fuzzy. I willed myself to sleep. When I chose to wake up, I found myself sipping nectar in the Big House nursery room.Eventually, I started telling myself that I WAS Percy. And I beleived it. But When Gaea killed Percy, I got out. It is now the year 2036.All the gods, Egyptian,Greek, Roman,Persian, have all retreated to the heavens. All the demigods I know of are dead. But Chaos is still there.
    And It Always Will Be.


    Last edited by Iapetus/Bob on 11/4/2013, 8:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
    Theseus12
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    The Child of Chaos Empty Re: The Child of Chaos

    Post by Theseus12 11/4/2013, 6:19 pm

    Dam. I like this.
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    Post by Guest 11/4/2013, 6:33 pm

    thanks. Its my first.
    Chronos
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    Post by Chronos 11/26/2013, 9:05 pm

    whoa....just whoa.....its creepy that this actualy makes sence
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    Post by Alpha Wolf 11/26/2013, 9:36 pm

    ...How do I put this in the nicest way possible...

    ...no...
    Chronos
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    Post by Chronos 11/26/2013, 9:39 pm

    no what?????????????
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    Post by Alpha Wolf 11/26/2013, 9:50 pm

    No this story...just..no
    Chronos
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    Post by Chronos 11/26/2013, 9:52 pm

    wel you have your apinion and i have mine and i say this story it epic XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD
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    Post by Alpha Wolf 11/26/2013, 9:54 pm

    Let's see now

    The character is too perfect

    The grammar is barely legible

    The idea behind it has absolutely no meaning at all

    There is no idea of a plot in sight at all...
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    Post by Chronos 11/26/2013, 10:01 pm

    WELL UMMM......... MOST OF THOE ARE CORRECT BUT THE PLOT IS WELL IDK BUT HE IS FORSHADOWING
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    Post by Guest 11/26/2013, 10:02 pm

    /facepalm

    Ever heard of a Mary Sue?

    Just give up, man. You can't save a story like this.

    The sad part is, the grammar and structure is remarkably amazing. I wish that some of the other authors on here would be able to use such good formatting, spelling, and other items of the such.

    I can't believe it went to waste.


    Last edited by Shadowhunter on 11/26/2013, 10:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
    TheCastaway
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    Post by TheCastaway 11/26/2013, 10:02 pm

    I agree with Dexter. It's just... How to say this politely... Erm, bad?
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    Post by Alpha Wolf 11/26/2013, 10:02 pm

    Please explain to me what he is foreshadowing when all he has told me is the year and that his character is mister perfect. Don't try to continue a debate with me if you can't back crap up.
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    Post by Guest 12/9/2013, 7:02 pm

    He's supposed to be perfect, seeing as theres no way he can't be perfect. It's physically impossible.
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    Post by Alpha Wolf 12/9/2013, 7:24 pm

    Perfect characters are not fun to read. They are boring because you know what to expect. To make a character perfect is a death wish for a story. And it is never impossible for a character to not be perfect. Perhaps you should understand this and revise this story to try to make it better. Though like Shadowhunter said, there is no salvaging a story this bad

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