Daisy Marie Lucas

Name: Daisy Marie Lucas

Looks Like:

Age: 16

Birthday: July 25th

Blood Type: O-

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Wavy, Long and Brown

Skin Color: White

Personality: She is very sweet. She is also very giggly. She is very loving (Opens up to others quickly). Very polite. Loves pulling pranks (ones that don't kill people. Pranks include Putting hair dye of random colors in people's shampoo, putting a mustache on her demigod brothers, etc...). Very energetic. very bubbly. very courageous. Free spirited. Loves the outdoors. Adventurous. Smart. Very optimistic. Smart aleck.

Mortal Parent: Maria Lucas

Country Of Origin: U.S.A

God Parent: Dionysus

Skills: Horseback riding, making juices and jams with strawberries and grapes, and using my celestial bronze shield and celestial bronze spear

Powers: None

Flaws: Has a temper. Cant swim. Cant sleep without her stuffed horse her mother have her when she was six. Shy. Afraid of heights(Good to know in case she has to be at a high vantage point or rock climbing.... etc. She cant climb more than 50 feet in the air without freaking out).

Abillities: None

Weapon: Spear called Aphrodite (Made of celestial bronze)

Life before CHB: Daisy lived with her grandmother when she was 13. Her mother died of Pneumonia. Her and her mother were very close up until the day she died. She would take her to the beach, go shopping with her and even go to the park. Her mother was a smart woman. Her grandmother eventually thought she was trouble an kicked her out of the house. She was kicked out at 15. She yelled at her and told er she would never amount to anything and that her dyslexia made her stupid. She was eve called a freak when Her grandmother found out she was a Lesbian. She was always treated this way. She was stranded for a long time. She wasn't sure how far from home she was but she guessed around 50 miles or so at least. She hitchhicked the whole way only stopping to eat what she could find.

She got attacked once by a skeleton. it had a sword. She had no idea how it got there but she was afraid. She was bleeding a little bit from it and she managed to at least take his arms of before she ran away. She took them off with a large tree branch. She didn't completely delete it but it gave her enough time to escape. She was also attacked my a person's dog (Not sure who's it was). During the fight, the dog bit her arm. She knocked it out with a rock before running away. After the attack she ran and hid in a cave for quite some time(She didn't know how long). On her journey someone stole her bag with all of her clothes and beat her up. She learned how to defend herself for a year which was a good thing for her. A few hours Later a Satyre name Kyle found her and brought her to the camp. She had been out of her house for a week before he had found her. When she got to Camp Half-Blood Chiron put her in the Dionysus cabin. she was sent to Cabin 12. He sent her there because her father recognized her right away. She didn't now what to expect. All she knew was that some of her siblings better be nice to her.

RP Example: I struggle to fight him off and almost lost when someone grabbed my hand and pulled me away. I punched the guy, grabbed my stuff and ran off. I didn't know where he was taking me but I figured he seemed safe. I was taken about 375 miles from where I was. At least I thought I was. It felt like forever. Soon it faded and I stopped in front of a sign that read in big letters Camp Half-Blood. I walked through not sure what it was and that was when I met Chiron for the first time.

moving to WIP section

(Double post, sorry)

Hey there, transforming is a power that Dionysus has, but every god/goddess has it and I don't really see that being an inheritable power.

Can you tell me how she found out that she was a demigod and why that caused her grandmother to kick her out?

And demigods over 13 are usually claimed the day or night they get to camp so Cabin 11 isn't overflow anymore.

~moved back to the character forms section~

Even though this isn't part of the usual form... I don't think Blood Type means "average" -- more like A, B, O, and AB.

Add a bit more to the personality.

I don't think the first two flaws you have down are necessarily flaws? The Hypnos kids/Aphrodite ones seem like they're out of her control anyway, and hating the Maenads isn't a flaw unless she gets particularly angry or such.

I'm assuming her spear is CB, like you said in her talents section?

LBC:
- When did her mother die of pneumonia?
- What was her life like before her mother died? (And no mention of her dead brother, either?)
- Godly parents are not allowed to visit the child and/or the child's family, so please take that out.
- Also, why did her grandma kick her out -- did she fear for her own life, or...? (Also, you'd think she'd start getting attacked by the age of 13 since that's when demigods generally should be claimed/their scent strengthens.)
- How did she save up $2500? Odd jobs?
- "She went to some food stores and they told her what she needed to hear." --> What does this mean?
- How far away from her grandma's home did she go, to accidentally end up near camp? How long did it take for her to end up there?

Personality:
- Zany and free-spirited are almost the same thing, so try adding something else.
- I also wouldn't say liking the color purple a lot is a part of her personality.

Flaws:
- Being afraid of Peleus is more like... mild common sense. So try replacing this with another flaw.

I'd also prefer you state her spear is CB in the Weapon section too.

LBC:
- Again, no mention of her dead brother? You'd think that would be a major factor of her childhood, since she apparently is afraid of fire now.
- At the age of 15, she'd surely attract monsters even though she's not technically claimed (but does know she is a demigod apparently?). Try adding one or two in, she's not going anywhere unscathed alone.
- Her grandma was taught about demigods in college? That makes no sense unless she's a mortal who can see through the Mist and met another demigod/magical creature who told her about the gods and all.
- "She went to some food stores and they told her what she needed to hear." --> You still need to tell us what this even means.
- Again: How far away from her grandma's home did she go, to accidentally end up near camp? How long did it take for her to end up there?

Add another line to the personality.

So for her last flaw, how bad are her "people skills"?

LBC:
- Try dividing this section up into numerous paragraphs, not just smashed into one.
- So... her brother burned to death by walking into the house fire? What do you mean here?
- Like I said before, her grandmother wouldn't exactly have learned about demigods -- especially not the possibility of them actually existing -- in college, and even being able to see through the Mist wouldn't have helped her much unless someone, like a demigod or satyr, told her about it.
- A teenage girl walks into several different grocery stores to buy food and asks them for help on how to make it last over a long period of time.... And nobody gets suspicious at all? Calls the cops?
- And I don't think she'd be able to kill a fury, especially as an untrained demigod.

Edited

I don't think you added anything to her personality.

Nor did you answer my question about her last flaw.

LBC:
- I think you edited out the part about the house fire, because now the whole "he walked into a burning flame and died" thing just seems out of context.
- Also, I doubt her brother would have died very fast if he walked into a flame? She would have had time to pull him out unless she were injured or such.
- Had her grandmother always mistreated her, or did something happen to make her think Daisy was troublesome?
- ... How much money did her rich friend/her rich friend's uncle give her when she helped take care of him? Like, if they're rich he certainly could have gone to a doctor or hired a professional to take care of him.
- So in both your RP Example and the second to last paragraph of your LBC you say she accidentally found LBC -- but then the next paragraph states a satyr found her? People don't just stumble on camp.

Edited and ready to be checked

Add another line to her personality or try elaborating more on her current listed traits -- like how does she express her love for others? What kinds of pranks does she like to pull, and what happens when she gets caught? Things like that.

I didn't ask you to add another flaw, but that's fine. I did, however, ask you to elaborate more on her "people skills" flaw.

LBC:
- Again. The part where her brother dies still seems out of context since you've edited out the part about the house fire, so add that part back in.
- You also should elaborate on how he "accidentally" got burnt to death -- had he been trapped in the house?
- So to clarify.... Her grandma never liked her anyway? You say she "eventually" thought Daisy was trouble, which implies she did like/tolerate her at first. Was it her dealing with her granddaughter being dyslexic/a lesbian/some other detail that put her over the edge?
- Now the details about helping her friend's family and how far she is from home are jumbled, so please reorder those coherently.
- Also.... You don't need to always go to the hospital when you're sick? You can hire doctors/nurses to take care of you at home if you're rich, so I still fail to see why her friend's uncle would trust two teenage girls to take care of him unless it weren't that serious. (And if it weren't -- she probably wouldn't be paid very much.)

Your RP Example is still of her finding camp by herself, so to be consistent with her LBC change that to her meeting Kyle and then getting there.

How bad is her fear of heights? Would she start crying/shaking, lose most of her focus, what?

LBC:
- So how long was the time period between her getting kicked out and her finding Kyle and getting to camp?
- How did she manage to take the skeleton's arms off?
- I'm assuming Chiron knew she was a child of Dionysus because Mr. D himself recognized her? Or was she claimed the regular way?

You didn't answer my question about how bad her fear of heights is.

LBC:
- So she'd been gone for a week and traveled around 50 miles? Had she hitchhiked/taken a bus or something too?
- Did this skeleton not have a weapon, or...? Normally when/if they're summoned and wandering about they have weapons. (I'm assuming someone's summons went rogue for a bit.)

Could you elaborate more on how she beat this skeleton?
And if she got hit by the sword, how was she hurt only a little bit? How did she deal with the wound after?
Again, what happened during the fight with the dog?
And after she was attacked?

In the LBC, you say she lived with her grandmother was she 13. Is this also the age she left that home and fled?

If so, just make it clearer that she left at that age.

If not, when did she leave that house? And if its at a point where shes only just arriving at camp, how has she developed the skills with weapons?

LBC:
- Did nobody she hitchhiked with think it suspicious a girl her age was wandering around alone? (Not to mention how creepy some people can be....)
- What kind of training had she had prior to leaving her grandma's? Regular self-defense classes, martial arts, or...?
- Like Josh asked before, how had she treated the wounds she got from both the dog and the skeleton?
- "She learned how to defend herself for a year which was a good thing for her." --> This comes out of nowhere, so you might want to rephrase it more like "She had gotten self-defense lessons the year previously, so she managed to survive both attacks."