New Dawn Light

Prologue:
"Do you promise to never betray me and to never let go of my hand?" She smiles at him waiting for him to answer her question. "I promise," he whispers to her. "Do you swear?" She says back more seriously. 'I swear," he says in a confident voice. They smile in perfect harmony when a loud defiant noise broke their everlasting gaze. "What? NO!" he says as a huge man riding horseback swings down and picks up his girl. "SILENCE!" says the man tying rope around him. He struggles at the rope trying to reach his CB dagger. "Don't forget your promise!" she says sadly as the man rides away to dawn. "I WON'T!" he shouts now reaching his dagger. He deftly slashes at the ropes rescuing himself. he runs toward the noise of hooves but hes too late. "I'll never forget you.. I'll never.." he whispers.
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O: Can't wait for the next chapter!

OMG WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

oh and they were 14 when she disappeared. here is chapter 1:

3 YEARS LATER:
I wake up hitting my head against the bedstead. I dreamed about Rosalyn last night. Again. I can still remember the day she left perfectly, the shouts, the screams, and the pleads. I can still remember every detail on her fragile little body. Every freckle, every strand of hair, and every single smile. Her long velvety red hair, her pale blue eyes that matched the necklace I gave her for her 13th birthday, and her smooth harmonious voice that resembled much like a song sung by a blue bird. I sigh putting on some jeans and a t-shirt. I walk outside to the beach.
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When I reached the beach a girl swooped down on me like a vulture feasting on its prey. She was the picture of a model with long blond hair and dark blue eyes. Her figure was perfect and she said, "Hi there, I'm Veronica Diaz, You know daughter of that actress? Who are you?" "Uh.. I'm Jayren...." I stammer not wanting to break the promise after just 3 years. She flips her hair and says, "Wanna have a picnic?" "No.. I'm... fine..." I say unable to move my lips correctly. "Really? Thats too bad... I'm a daughter of Aphrodite.. you?" she says while fluttering her eyes. "I'm unclaimed," I say finally breaking under the spell. "Oh," she says looking me up and down, "Well, your cute, so I will definitely see you later. Bye." she leaves while winking at me. "What in the Hades just happened?" I mutter to myself wanting to run after her. "Oh well..." I say walking against the shore line.

I think it moves a little fast. and it should be longer. You kinda switch tenses too. Other than that it's nice.

Thanks for the criticizing, it really helps! (I'm not being sarcastic)