young and sweet, only seventeen (aka taleis wears a dress and stuff happens)

taleis twirls in front of the mirror one last time, taking in the forest green ball gown and how it hung off of his frame. it did take some work, getting the whole cleavage thing to work, but taleis thinks he did pretty well. the color suits him, he thinks.

taleis has no clue why he didn't start wearing ballgowns until now. of course, he did have to buy a wig - not that there's anything wrong with a guy wearing a ballgown, it's just that he couldn't do anything with his hair, it was so short. darn being male and having short hair. the world can be so cruel.

he picks up the silver mask he had bought to go with the dress and gently places it on his face, tying it into a delicate bow behind his head. it feels weird, having his new long hair tickle the backs of his fingers. his head feels heavier from it. taleis has no idea what girls do, but they are strong.

last are the heels. he's practiced walking around in them when he was alone, but that doesn't make it any less daunting. high heels are painful. if it weren't for the way they made his legs look, taleis would just forget them. then again, no one will even see his legs, the gown is floor length after all. but he's already bought them, and they are pretty, so he sits down and slides them on his feet, doing the buckle up around his ankles.

after a final glance in the mirror, making sure the gown lays right and that his cleaveage actually looks believable, taleis regards the door of his cabin. see, the part where he puts the dress and shoes and heels on was the easy part. the hard part is actually going out there, where everyone is, and hoping that all goes well. of course, he's in with the hermes cabin; people could always just assume that it was some prank or something, if he did get figured out, which he won't. taleis was sure to practice a feminine voice and putting on makeup and walking in the heels and everything.

as he closes his hand around the door nob, taleis feels the familiar rush through his veins, and a smile spreads across his face. this is going to be wonderful.

he twists the door nob and pushes the door open, stepping out into the crowd in the courtyard. it's somewhat shocking, to be truthful, seeing the courtyard filled with people in gowns and suits and masks. normally, everyone's wearing clothes that are weather worn and old, but not tonight. it's almost like prom, but better, in some way. part of it may have to do with the fact that taleis is in a dress. also, his legs are shaved, which felt a bit odd at first, but, jesus his skin is so soft. taleis didn't know his skin could ever be that soft.

he looks up, notices that there are strings of lights hanging above the courtyard. the fountain looks different, and taleis notices that it's actually clean for once. that's nice. usually it's covered in bird poop. that's not very nice. they've got music playing, and some people are dancing, and there's food and people are laughing and taleis loves it. nobody looks at him funny or shows any inkling that they notice that taleis isn't a girl.

taleis' head snaps up, hearing his name somewhere in the crowd. he just barely catches it above the noise of laughter and music, can hardly believe he heard it at all. but it was definitely there, and no one was supposed to recognize him.

there's only one person taleis can think of who would be able to tell, one person who would notice the small...wrongness-es, if that's even a word. it's probably not. benjamin would know, but taleis isn't smart like him. and benjamin would be the one to tell that it was taleis, behind the makeup and wig and dress.

taleis spots him, then, leaning against the athena cabin. he probably was holding his 'i am very unimpressed with the events that are occurring around me' face until he saw taleis, because the face he's got right now doesn't look anything like that one. it's kind of shocked, a little, and his voice sounded a bit...strangled, which was strange. that doesn't happen.

also, benjamin has a beard, which wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that is was devastatingly attractive.

damn him. damn benjamin and his stupid beard and his stupid i can tell if you're cross dressing powers. or whatever he has that enables him to do that. it's really not fair. taleis doesn't like it.

he glides over, thankful for the hours he spent wearing the heels while he was on his own. it would be impossible to move without them. heels hurt. it further proves taleis' point that girls are tough as balls and are a force to be reckoned with.

benjamin is not a girl. he is a very manly man with a rugged looking beard and it is doing things to taleis. he doesn't like it. he prefers it when benjamin didn't have his stupidly rugged man-beard. those were good days. very good days indeed.

"hey, benjamin," he says, his voice high and feminine sounding. thank the gods he practiced that, too. if he hadn't taleis would probably be doing a stupidly high-pitched and obnoxious squeaky voice. "having fun, standing here at the edge of the party and creepily staring at everyone?"

taleis' laughs airily, waving his hand through the air. "of course, benny dear. how could i have been so stupid?" taleis imagines this is what frivolous rich ladies feel like, who have so much time they can lounge about in fabulous gowns at parties and gossip idly. taleis thinks that wouldn't be too bad. he already can pull off the dress.

"and i'm wearing a dress because it's carnival, of course," taleis says. "it's all about disguises. i've had this planned for months. it's brilliant, isn't it? and i truly do look stunning in a dress don't you think?"

(so maybe he is trying to draw benjamin's attention to himself. so maybe it is in retaliation for his stupidly ruggedly rugged manly man-beard. so what. gods, stop judging him.)

"and i don't think this is "plebeian", or whatever you said. it's fun." a smile spreads across taleis' face, then. "benjamin holmes, i am going to make it my personal mission that you have fun. i don't care what you say." oh, this is brilliant!

taleis grins at benjamin, wide and shark like. he grabs benjamin's wrist and starts pulling him through the crowd. "you wouldn't dare! taleis calls back over his shoulder. "you love me!"

he laughs then, maybe forgetting to keep his voice as high as it should be, but who cares? he's going to see to it that benjamin enjoys himself, and they will dance and eat and drink and laugh and maybe kiss, a bit, because what happens in carnival stays in carnival, right?

plus, how is he supposed to resist that stupid beard. taleis generally likes his chin pasty white and normal, but he would not mind getting stubble burn if it were from that beard.

finally, taleis sees he's reached the edge of where people are dancing. the music is the loudest here, seems to be something live by the apollo children, and taleis shoots benjamin his shark-grin again. "dance with me!" he says, having to shout to be heard over the music. it's not all that wild or anything, it's just loud.

taleis loves it. he also doesn't mind the fact that his hand slid down to hold benjamin's while they were running. or the fact that someone bumped into him, pushing his body up against benjamin's. stupid tall boys and their stupid beards.

(taleis thinks he may actually be a teeny bit in love with benjamin, but that's a problem for another time, another day. right now they are dancing, and trivial things such as love don't matter.)

taleis doesn't. he doesn't know what he did, but suddenly ben's looking frenzied and he just wants to see him relaxed and smiling and enjoying himself, but he's messed everything up and he just wants ben to have fun.

"hey, hey, it's alright, yeah?" he says, keeping his voice as gentle as he can while still being heard over the noise. "just. eyes on me, yeah? no one else. it's okay. i've got you. you're okay."

taleis wraps an arm around benjamin's waist, keeping him close. taleis' heart is jack-rabbiting in his chest, and he's fairly certain that's benjamin's heart beating he feels faintly underneath his. taleis suddenly wishes he were out of this stupid dress, out of these heels that still can't bring him above benjamin's height and the mask and wig.

it's like his hearts been ripped out of his chest, like it's laying on the dance floor because he feels so obvious, feels like it must be written on his face, how gone he is for the gorgeous boy in front of him. sure, he's a jerk. sure, he doesn't like cherries (despicable), but taleis needs him to be okay so much it feels like a knife has been wedged between his ribs, and he'd do anything for him. absolutely anything.

he thought it'd hit like a freight train, realizing, crap, he's in love with a boy, but it just washes over, all gentle. kind of like the barely there waves at a lake, or something equally stupid and poetic. benjamin makes taleis stupid and poetic. he's okay with that, even if he doesn't do the same to benjamin. that's okay. benjamin just. he needs to be alright. that's all taleis needs.

(he supposes there's a reason for the mask, but taleis also supposes benjamin would be able to tell anyways. taleis supposes he'd be okay with that, maybe. he trusts benjamin. he's okay with that, too.)

"ben- benjamin?" taleis says, and he's forcing himself not to plead because he's not the one who's having a breakdown. he may be the one who's hopelessly in love, but he's not the one who's hurting. he's obviously not hurting like benjamin is.

benjamin's pulling away, and taleis. taleis doesn't know if he needs the space, if he's waiting for taleis to reach out to him, he just. he doesn't know, he can't do what benjamin does where he can tell what people think and what they are by a single glance. he's just. taleis is just human. maybe he's part god, but he doesn't feel it. there's nothing special about him. he's flesh and blood and bone, he's mortal, but ben. ben is so much more than that, he deserves so much more.

"what do you need?" taleis asks, trying to lead him out of the crowd. "i can't. i can't do what you do, i need you to. i need you to tell me what you need, benjamin, please," taleis says, and he's still holding onto benjamin's hand and he wishes he was out of this dress. maybe in another situation it would be fine, but. not right now, it's not okay right now.

taleis takes a deep breath, says, "okay, okay, i can do that. we'll get you out of here, yeah? you'll. you'll be alright, promise. i won't let anything happen to you."

taleis leads ben through the crowd, pushing through the crowd. he doesn't even bother apologizing, hasn't even bothered keeping his voice high and feminine. he just. he doesn't care about any of that, not when ben is like this. it doesn't matter, it's stupid and fleeting and it doesn't matter, not like ben does. nothing matters like ben does. nothing can even compare.

it feels like ages before they reach taleis' cabin, but ben's hand his still in his and every time he's glanced back ben's been looking at him and. that has to mean something, right? it has to mean something.

the music can still be heard through the walls of the cabin, but everyone is outside. it's blissfully empty, and taleis prays that being alone will fix ben because he can't think of anything else, and it would break him if it didn't. ben needs to be okay. he needs to needs to needs to.

taleis lets go of ben's hand to untie the ribbon of his mask and pull off the wig. he regards the dress for a moment, then the sweats he had laid out on his bunk. "i'm just going to change, alright? i'll just be a second, i promise. i'll come right back." he reaches for ben's hand one last time, giving it a gentle squeeze before he slips into the bathroom with some more comfortable clothes.

the dress is an absolute nightmare to get out of. he's got to reach behind his back to pull the zipper down and jesus christ, how does anyone do that? girls are crazy, man. insane. but then he's stepping out of it, and the skirt is still standing up because of all the damn tulle, but who even cares because he can take the heels off now and slide the sweatpants on and a loose t-shirt.

and now he can go back out to ben.

taleis doesn't think he's taken a long time, but. he doesn't know what ben's going through doesn't know what thoughts are in his head or how he feels or anything, and it's somewhat terrifying, really. it's terrifying to look at the person you love and to have to accept that you don't know what they're going through.

taleis just. he doesn't know what to say, doesn't know what to do, but he knows that he needs ben more than anything he's ever needed, more than he needs to breathe, just about, and it's. it's too much, it's too much.

"i...ben," taleis says, and he doesn't know how to say it, doesn't know how to put his thoughts into words, but he needs to because he needs be to stay.

"i. i need you to stay with me, do you think you could do that? please?" he asks gently, so, so gently. "i need you here with me. and. you said that was what you needed, too?" he reaches out to ben, grabs his wrist before he can move away, pulls him in close. he can feel benjamin's warmth through the thin cotton t-shirt he's wearing. taleis runs his fingers idly up benjamin's side, wanting to touch skin but knowing he can't, doesn't have permission.

but, gods, benjamin looks so beautiful, and all taleis has to do is look up to see benjamin's looking down at him, and. and. taleis can hear his breath catch, feels it, distantly, but benjamin's just. he's so beautiful, so gorgeous and breathtaking and perfect. benjamin's perfect.

"you're perfect," taleis breathes, and he can feel benjamin's breath on his lips and he just. he can't. he can't anymore.

benjamin's mouth is solid and warm against his, and. and taleis doesn't even know if he has the words to describe it, doesn't know he could if he tried. all he knows is that he feels like he's floating and like something's just clicked, like suddenly things make sense now, like maybe this is what he's been missing. it's so cliche but it's so true.