True World History

Chapter 1 How the United States and Canada came to be.

So, in the beginning, there was a very attractive woman with long brown hair and piecing green eyes called the British Empire, or England. Now, England wanted to go out and explore the world. In the long run, it had a very successful life as a bachelorette, but in the late sixteenth century ( possibly got this wrong) she fell in love with the handsome and very pompous Spanish Empire. Now, Spain at the time was a tall and muscular man with very alluring features and a massive amount of gold jewels that it showed off to England in order to win her over. In the end, England did fall for Spain and the two married subsequently, thus resulting in the birth of their first child, the United States of America. Yet, after years of marriage, Spain and England began to develop a rather strenuous relationship, partially due to Spain becoming fat, greedy and self-centered, and also because Spain decided to quit it's day job in order to focus on it's wealth. However, it all went sour when Spain lavishly spent all of it's money in silly things like palaces and cities, thus Spain became highly unattractive to England, and she decided to divorce him and his ways, while making sure of taking custody of their child the USA.

Still a very beautiful woman in her prime though, England decided to set her sights on a new partner named France. Now France was spentful, but not as much as her ex-husband, and thus England and France married and had a baby called Canada, the USA's little brother' Yet, two years into their marriage, France found out it had a very poor financial situation and once again, England, now the mother of two nations, decided to divorce for a second time, leaving France to fend for it's own self.

England, Canada and the United States all lived happily for many, many years under the same roof, but sadly, it wouldn't last forever. When the UNited States reached it's adolescent years, it's relationship with England worsened considerably, mostly because England was clingy of her daughter and because the United States wanted to live it's life and be free to explore on it's own. England and the United States had a turbulent period in their relationship which ended with the United States moving out of England's home for good and accepting a bit of money from her now economically stronger ally and her brother's father, France. With The United States out on it's own, England became deeply depressed over the loss of her daughter, and while Canada, being the momma's boy it was, tried to help it's mother by giving her food and jewelry, England's recovery from depression took a long time. Yet, seeing his siblings success, Canada became inspired by the United State's rebellious ways and decided that it too was high time it abandoned the nest. Yet unlike his brother, Canada and England's separation was rather peaceful and both ended on good terms. Hence why England favoring Canada over a few things when compared to the United States.

Eventually, the family was able to unite again, but now as a union of three fully grown adults, instead of a single adult with two children.

THe End :D

better than history class. 10/10

What she said
Except for the fact that you keep using "it's" instead of "its". (It's means "it is")