Namless story that I just thought up!

Removed

Grammar needs work still. Missing apostrophes, and you don't need to use more than three or four dots when you're trailing off.

Spelling mistakes, too. I suggest you type this up in a word document and see what mistakes you get.

Punctuation is missing.

Your characters don't really get much personality. I'd try to give them more flaws, more attitude-- just anything to get away from Gary-Stu-dom.

Otherwise, this was good.

I said there was a lot of misstakes and the guy s lived for 2000 years and all of hes friends die so he doesn't have much persionalty.

Actually, people who see that happen become bitter. They don't become robots.

Trust me. he gets bitter later

Mhm. I hope so.

cause thats only part of the first chapter....

Nice to know.