A place for Percy Jackson and the Olympian fans to roleplay.


+2
-Sharpie-
Panda Coffee
6 posters

    The life of a killer.

    Panda Coffee
    Panda Coffee
    Loyal Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 3209
    Age : 24
    Registration date : 2010-10-22

    The life of a killer. Empty The life of a killer.

    Post by Panda Coffee 4/12/2011, 12:27 am

    Chapter one:

    I tilt my head back and look at the glorious full moon, it seemed to have a red tinge to it, as if it knew what was going to happen tonight. On the other hand it could’ve just been my guilty mind. I look towards the party lights twinkling below and start to jog slowly down, my black cloak floating silently behind me. A man in a crisp tuxedo barely bumped into me “Sorry.” He murmured and I smiled and nodded, fingering the small I.D. that he had slipped into my palm. I clipped the badge to the collar of my cloak and continued to the security stand. I walked up to see about five men, all in black tuxedos and bowties next to a plastic table with a basket. Wordlessly, I unclasped my cloak and put the metal clasp in the basket, passed my new badge to a man, and drew my gun from a strap on my thigh before putting the Glock 45. into the basket and passing through the metal detector. No sound. I grinned, a small grin before I wiped my face clean of all emotions and picked up all of my things from the basket, one of the men was staring at me “Close your mouth, we don’t need you drooling.” I told him before I turned away and melted into the crowd, the Secret Service I.D. showing plainly next to the clasp at my throat. I scan the crowd, my mark was nowhere to be found, but he, of course, was a spy so that was no surprise. I leaned against a wall and crossed my legs, the crimson dress underneath my cloak showing plainly next to the dark shadows. A red-haired man walked by me and I dismissed him, just another rich, snobby guy. My hearing stretched out, a man and a woman conversing about marriage about 20 feet away, a small black-haired man talking on the phone about his racehorse, and so on. Her ears perked on two young woman talking “Sir Arnold?” The shorter one asked the tall one nodded enthusiastically “He’s at the gate now.” She said. I smiled, and shrank into the crowd toward the gate, he was not going to get away now.
    -Sharpie-
    -Sharpie-
    Junior Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 363
    Age : 27
    Registration date : 2010-02-13

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by -Sharpie- 4/16/2011, 5:22 am

    Whoa! I loveeee it! Good job!
    Panda Coffee
    Panda Coffee
    Loyal Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 3209
    Age : 24
    Registration date : 2010-10-22

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by Panda Coffee 4/19/2011, 9:32 pm

    Thanks1 sorry I took so long to reply, I'll write more soon ok?
    -Sharpie-
    -Sharpie-
    Junior Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 363
    Age : 27
    Registration date : 2010-02-13

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by -Sharpie- 4/20/2011, 4:54 am

    okay! I can't wait to read more!
    Panda Coffee
    Panda Coffee
    Loyal Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 3209
    Age : 24
    Registration date : 2010-10-22

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by Panda Coffee 4/23/2011, 2:05 pm

    Kinda short but here's chapter 2, part 1:

    The crowd parted easily as I sliced through them like the dagger on my thigh would. I reached the gate and pulled the hood on my cloak up to cast a shadow on my face. I glance down at the picture in my hand, a red haired man with a certain aura that screamed “power”. I spot the man weaving through the crowd, his orange hair glinting in the light. He headed for the edge of the part where the lights were dimmed and I smirked, you’d think that people with a million-dollar bounty on their head would disguise themselves better, be less careless. I walk up behind him “Hello, what brings you out here?” I said sweetly, my face melting into a girlish grin. He turned around to look me in the eye and too late I see the lock of brown hair sticking out from underneath his hood, the slight bulge in his pocket of a gun, or the fact that he had green eyes when my mark was supposed to have brown. I hear slight rustling surrounding me and I’m surrounded by 5 or so, most likely highly trained operatives. The decoy backs into the shadows and I slink into a fighting crouch as my attackers moved in for the kill.
    Fist of Shadows
    Fist of Shadows
    Role Playing Legend


    Male
    Number of posts : 14249
    Age : 25
    Registration date : 2010-01-22

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by Fist of Shadows 4/23/2011, 4:40 pm

    The chunk of the paragraph is scary, make sure you seperate.

    Also, it's a little short.

    The story itself is great, though.
    -Sharpie-
    -Sharpie-
    Junior Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 363
    Age : 27
    Registration date : 2010-02-13

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by -Sharpie- 4/23/2011, 5:42 pm

    she said it'd be short.... and Ilove itt!
    Panda Coffee
    Panda Coffee
    Loyal Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 3209
    Age : 24
    Registration date : 2010-10-22

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by Panda Coffee 4/23/2011, 6:21 pm

    Ok thanks for the advice and thanks guys! I'm working on the next part soon.
    Laxyak
    Laxyak
    Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 650
    Age : 33
    Registration date : 2010-03-13

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by Laxyak 4/23/2011, 6:50 pm

    Wow, Baneling took it right out of my mouth fingers. I also enjoy it. I think you have a lot going for you. But you do need to make paragraphs and such. Even over-paragraphing gets more readers than a block of text. When it comes to shortness, the "second chapter" could actually be part of the first chapter. I've noticed that people think each new post has to be a new chapter, but it doesn't. I don't know if that's how it is with you, but the advice is the same. Hope that helps, and please continue!
    Panda Coffee
    Panda Coffee
    Loyal Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 3209
    Age : 24
    Registration date : 2010-10-22

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by Panda Coffee 4/23/2011, 6:57 pm

    Got it, I'll try to next time.
    Crazy
    Crazy
    Experienced Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 5403
    Age : 26
    Registration date : 2011-04-16

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by Crazy 5/22/2011, 6:08 pm

    your story was great and I just loved it. Please please do more!
    Kat The Reject
    Kat The Reject
    Experienced Member


    Female
    Number of posts : 7897
    Age : 24
    Registration date : 2011-04-14

    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by Kat The Reject 5/22/2011, 9:28 pm

    Good.

    Sponsored content


    The life of a killer. Empty Re: The life of a killer.

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is 5/17/2024, 5:05 am