Colin's bunk

The night had been cold. A harsh wind swept over the streets, nearly blowing out the barely standing fire. A young boy slept next to the flames, shivering occasionally and pulling a red blanket, covered with holes, closer around him.

The boy sat up quickly as footsteps echoed closer to the hollowed-out abandoned parking garage, calming his tense body when he noticed a girl. Short, choppy blonde hair lay tangled above her shoulders, dirt smudging her face and causing her green eyes to glow even more brightly.

"Find anything?" The boy asked, removing the blanket and throwing it around her shoulders as she sat down next to him, moving dangerously close to the weak flame. He pulled his arms around her, letting her bury her much smaller frame in his for a few minutes until she stopped shivering.

"Nothing," the girl replied tossing him a bit of the blanket so they could both huddle under it.

That January had been harsh on them. They'd barely been able to scrape by. Astaria's usually impeccable scavenging skills hadn't been bringing in half asuch as usual, and Colin had been left playing beggar. He hated begging. Just sitting on the street for hours, acting sick. The entire process left him anxious, annoyed, and antsy.

"Try and get some sleep, then. We'll find something tomorrow." Colin assured her,  lightly pushing her down by the shoulders.  And tucking the blanket around her.

"Colin?"

"Mm?" He replied without looking at her, a tired gaze watching the fire.

"Don't stay up all night. Just wake me up. I can keep watch, too, you know."

"Sure," he said, though they both knew he was lying. Colin hardly ever lied, meaning that when he did, it was super obvious.

Astaria fell asleep quickly, and Colin watched her sleep, his own eyelids slowly becoming heavy. Before long, he could hardly even sit up. He gave in, falling asleep next to her.

He woke up to screaming.

He sat up immediately, looking around to find its source. Astoria sat huddled in the corner,  her arm covering her face. Some giant, dog-like creature stood over her , growling. The animal raised one black paw over her head, and Colin screamed. He didn't even know what he was saying. He just knew it wasn't helping.

The animal's claws tore down, and the girl released one final shout.

After the hound was done with her, he turned his head towards Colin, bolting towards him. But Colin didn't move. He didn't yell. He didn't even look at the thing. All he saw was the gorl's lifeless body, unmoving.

Then there was pain, followed by darkness.

The memories played them self over and over in Colin's head. Laughter, singing, smiles. But the things that should've brought him pleasure brought nothing but a ripping, horrendous burst of pain.

To any passerby he probably looked insane. He sat on his bunk, head between his knees and arms over his head, laying on his side and shaking.  He was freezing cold, covered in blankets someone had placed on him, as well as a rag over his forehead to help with the sweats. It didn't. He was being attacked from all angles. While the mental torture of the memories taunted him from the inside, the physical torture of an excruciating panic attack. He needed out. He needed to move. He wedged to do something, but he couldn't.

He blankly heard one of his cabin mates talking to someone, before the sound of someone dialing a number split his head open. A voice picked up on the other end. It seemed too loud, too unsteady. He wanted to scream but he knew it wouldn't make a sound. He blocked out the phone call, focusing all of his energy on the rhythmic pounding of someone pacing.

From the beginning of the day, Leila knew something was off about today.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that she woke up in a cold sweat, remembering nothing of what she dreamed about but still feeling strangely unsettled in the nearly empty cabin. Maybe because it was raining outside- No. Raining would be putting it lightly. It was a storm outside. The wind howled into the courtyard and she could hear the raindrops falling violently against the window and the roof, the disturbing stillness inside the cabin.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair as she sat up and leaned over with her head in her lap and hands. She glanced at the clock beside her before flopping on her back to stare at the ceiling. She had woken up early and everyone else was sleeping although there weren’t many people in Cabin 25 to begin with anyway. She couldn’t fall back asleep and her veins hummed with energy and relentless nerves. Why? She had no idea.

Leila sat back up and threw the blankets off of her lower body, instantly regretting it when the cold air hit her bare legs. She walked to the foot of her bed where her trunk of stuff laid and opened it to pull out some clothes. She changed in the darkness, knowing that no one would see her anyway and caring less if they did. By now they’d accidently seen some of each other’s bodies since they shared a bunk anyway so she had nothing to worry about. She slipped on her boots and threw her hood on after she made her bed and changed, walking towards the door. She didn’t really know where she was going but let her feet guide her as she was prey to the open winds and rain. She covered her eyes with her hands as she closed the door behind her and stumbled through the courtyard before she ended up at another cabin’s door. Cabin 27.

Of course, her mind had subconsciously led her to Colin. It made sense didn’t it? She was horribly infatuated with him anyway so why not. She hesitated with her hand on the door knob. If she remembered correctly, he had told her last month when they were in her bunk that Astaria’s anniversary was this month. That thought made her instantly swing the door open and barge right in.

She took off her hood, giving the other cabin members a sheepish smile although there were only a couple Egyptian kids in sight. Leila shut the door behind her and looked around the bunks as she walked down the middle before she spotted a figure near the back with their head between their knees and arms over their head. Her eyes softened as she neared them, knowing full well it was a certain mourning son of Serket. Leila took off her shoes and shed her jacket quietly before climbing in beside him and wrapping her arms around his huddled figure.

“It’s alright.” She murmured softly with her thumbs rubbing small circles in his arm. “You’re not alone anymore. That’s what we promised right?”

The sounds of pacing stopped, before fading as the person exited the area. The bunk was quiet for right around two seconds, before he was enveloped in familiar arms. A voice cooed in his ears, and some of his ache receded a bit.

She was so warm, so steady. He stopped shaking at her touch, relaxing his tense posture. He still felt horrible, and every slight noise sent a fresh beat of pain through him, but her presence had calmed him.

"Leila," he whispered her name, as if having to remind himself of it. Not that that would ever happen, of course. There would never be any way he could forget Leila.

"Oh, gods Leila," He said, turning over and pressing himself closer to her, placing his head over her shoulder. "I've never been happier to hear your voice." His own was dry, and soft, hardly above a whisper.

Thunder rumbled outside loudly and unexpectedly, followed by a flash of lightning that, even behind his eyelids triggered a small wave of pulsing. He flinched, tensing up again as the pain in his head returned.

OoC: on my phone, so I'll probably add some fluff later. But yeah, that's the gist of it.

Leila wrapped her arms tighter around Colin as he pressed himself closer to her. She smiled softly when he whispered those words in her ear even though she really shouldn’t when he was so fragile right now. She stroked his hair with her free hand gently as she buried her nose in his neck.

“Hey, I missed you too.” She replied. She winced a little when Colin flinched at the sound of thunder, clutching the back of his shirt. “Are you alright?”

It was a stupid question because he obviously wasn’t alright but she still felt obliged to ask. She remembered him holding his hand over his head when he was in a fetal position earlier. “Is it your head?”

OOC: Spent like an hour going back to read past leilin posts

OOC: omg same like I remembered they both liked the fray and I've been listening to fray playlists and that leilin playlist and colin's playlist for like 3 hours

BIC:
"It's everything, really. But, yeah, mainly my head," He replied, as some of the tension ebbed away once again. He took no comfort in that, though. He knew it would come back.

She was so warm. She had that smell that she always had, berries mixed with pine and special smell that water has that you only really get from candles inaccurately labeled "fresh air". She reminded him so much of her . Not in looks. Oh, no, definitely not in looks. Astaria's hair had always been choppy and short, such a light blonde above her her shoulders that it looked like a halo. Leila's hair a a shining waterfall of gleaming black diamonds. Astaria's eyes had been such a light green that they had sometimes looked gray, like feathers. Leila's eyes were dark and kind, and reminded him of sparkling onyx. But they were both so brave, so loving, and so willing to do things like this. If Leila and Astaria had switched places, he knew she would be with him right now, the same way Leila was.

He swore he could almost feel her heartbeat. Then again, it might've been his. It was going pretty fast.

“Hmm.” She hummed as she laid her hand behind his head. She closed her eyes and let the tingles of warmth overtake her. As always, it started in her chest, a feeling from her heart that pushed itself through her body and flow into her hand where it transferred to Colin’s head. She found that humming helped her whenever she used her ability. It helped her concentrate as the warmth swam through the both of them and let his pain inflict upon her. She took a deep breath, never breaking the hum in her song as she felt the gnaw of pain creeping on her. She ignored it in favor of holding Colin closer. With the warmth between them moving from her hand to his head she felt like there was no place where she started and he ended.

Leila knew she probably couldn’t ease his pain for longer than maybe fifteen or twenty minutes although the length all depended on how long she could hold the burden of his pain herself. It hurt but for Colin, she’d hold the weight of the world on her shoulders for him.

That thought scared her. All of it scared her. It scared her how much she would do for him, for his sake. For better or for worse, she didn’t know. Leila just knew that when she was with him she felt invincible like she could take on the world with her bare hands and still make it through unscathed so long as she held his hand the entire way. She could relate to when he said those things back in her bunk about how he felt about her. Honestly, she felt the same way.
To her, he was like the sun on a rainy day, washing all her worries away.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” She sung playfully with a grin on her face even though she winced as a sting to her head felt like a hammer hitting her skull. “You make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don’t take my sunshine away.”

OOC: -attacks athena with leilin feels-

OOC: YOU CAN'T PULL THAT CARD LEILA IM LISTENING TO CHASING CARS WHICH IS POSSIBLY THE MOST LEILIN SONG EVER AND YOU JUST BOOM YOU CAN'T PULL THAT CARD THATS NOT FAIR

BIC: "Leila, don-" He began, knowing perfectly well what she was doing, but stopped as the pain let up. He felt like he could finally breathe. And that's what he did. He took a deep breath, a bit shaky, but gods it felt so good. He felt horrible, still, as when you don't have pain distracting you, it's easier to focus on other things. Like, say, memories. But at least the physical pain was gone.

Then she began to sing, and yeah, Colin would probably never forget that moment. Gods, she even sounded like her. She'd never really sung to him or anything, but he'd occasionally catch her working to some Swedish tune that held some bit of semblance to something he could understand.

"You're a lot like her, you know," He said, twirling a few strands of her hair blindly around one of his fingers. But she was different, too. Leila was kinder, less harsh. Astaria would never have shared their supplies with another beggar, but Colin was certain Leila would, even if it meant she would starve. Astaria was always fighting him for some kind of control, always making some remark if he made a suggestion that she saw as an order. But she'd always forgive him quickly, admit she was wrong. She always had up some kind of wall, one that was so hard for Colin to tear down. Leila never tried to act tough. Not because she wasn't. She was tough. But she was also kind, and loving, and forgiving, and generous, and sacrificing, and loyal. She wasn't even something he could describe. She wasn't extraordinary. She wasn't perfect. She wasn't extravagant. She wasn't outstanding. She was all those things in one, plus something else. She was something more than all of that. She was Leila.

OOC: yw

"Really?" Leila asked quietly with her eyes closed. She listened to his breathing, inhaled his scent. Everybody had a scent even if they couldn't smell it themselves. It was always distinct and different with everybody. It was almost like a homely smell on them. She didn't know how to describe it in words but she leaned in closer to Colin if that was even possible. He was like home. "Would it help to talk about her or no?"

Her head throbbed. She hopped that Colin hadn't endured this for too long before she came because gods it was painful and just thinking about him in pain was painful to her. Much more painful in comparison to this headache she was feeling from Colin. Leila could handle headaches though. During the Titan War, she could barely hold on to the pain as she replaced their pain with a soothing softness but she would push herself. She'd let herself take their pain if only because she didn't want them to feel it in the first place. She had to be yanked away from the patient before she passed out or collapsed from it with an iron grip on her recipient's hand. She didn't know why she pushed herself so much. She knew it wasn't in her best interest and that maybe one day she could die from pushing it too far but she didn't care.

Maybe it was because her dad was a doctor and he and his parents raised her to put others in front of herself, to help them at any chance she saw. Maybe it was because it was in her nature. Maybe she liked the pain, welcomed it as an old friend after the many times she'd encountered it. There was so much pain during war. She hated it. Not when she was feeling it herself but when she saw a hellhound latching it's jaw around a friend's arm as their face cried out in pain. When she saw people die in front of her very eyes because the other medics said that they should take them out of their misery and make it painless. Pain. Yes, Leila was familiar with the feeling. She was also familiar with heartache, guilt, and the never ending self hatred she felt towards herself in the darkest of nights as she laid in her cabin. You could have saved them, whispers shouted at her curled up figure. You weren't strong enough. Coward. Useless. What good are you if you can't save lives?

She had to convince herself many times that it wasn't true. That she meant something to someone, even if she had no one. Leila pressed a soft kiss to the side of Colin's head, finding his hand and holding it with a grip, more to reassure herself more than him. Maybe that person could be Colin.

Leila wanted to bitterly laugh and shake her head and cry at the same time. Here she was thinking and pitying herself when she should've been focusing on Colin. She knew that her control over the link between them had wavered as she could feel a slight ease in the drumming she felt in her head but she quickly took control again, easily reigning it over.

OOC: i like making leila suffer and think about herself when she should be focusing on her bb

"I wouldn't know. I've never actually tried talking about her," He answered, closing his eyes. It was odd. He could almost imagine her face perfectly, as if she were actually there, but something was always missing. Maybe the way her hair fell, or the exact shape of her eyes, or maybe even something small, like her skin tone being off by a few shades. Whatever it was, it was never her. He could never have her back. It was so cruel, the way death took the person from you. It took the actual body and spirit, yeah, but it also took away some of the person which you held inside yourself, the part that everyone always tries to comfort you with by saying things like "she's still alive through our memories of her" or "she'll always be with you". Those were some of the most painful lies anyone could tell. She wasn't alive. There was a distinct difference between alive and dead, and Colin was pretty sure he knew what it was. And no, she wasn't with him, and she might never be again. In order to be with someone, you have to be with them. You have to be there and able to help them and hold their hand and talk to them. After all, isn't that the difference between being accompanied and being watched?

"She was tough. When I first met her, she was young, only nine or so, and I was ten. She was digging through a trashcan at the back of an old Italian place. I stepped up behind her, so I could maybe help her, and we could split whatever we found. So I tapped her shoulder, and she springs up and pushes me down, before running back and hiding behind some crates. It took me hours to coax her out, and even then, she refused to even talk to me. She wasn't shy, she just didn't trust me. So, over the next few weeks, I started to give her some of the things I gathered up. After a while, she finally built up enough faith to ask me why I sometimes said things in Spanish or French or some other language. I, naturally, was super awkward and embarrassed, so I just kind of sat there and told her about my dad and running away. She stayed with me after that, and we became really close. She was a sister. Hell, she was more than that. She was the closest thing to an actual family I'd ever had. She was smart, sweet, sacrificing, and determined, a lot like you. But she was also harsh and protective and stubborn. She always wanted to have some kind of control," He took a shaky breath as he struggled to make the image of her clearer with each passing word, though every time he filled in a piece, he seemed to lose another.

"She died instead of me. That hellhound was going to attack me. She got its attention and led it away. I'll never forget how scared she looked. I think that's what bothers me the most. She was so sacrificial, down to her very last moment. Like you."

OOC: you animal /hugs leila and colin and conforts them bc ughhhh

Leila's eyebrows lowered as Colin talked about Astaria. Even though she felt that she should have been at least a little jealous, she wasn't. Like at all. The kind of love that Colin and Astaria had sounded more platonic to her than anything and her heart clenched. Astaria sounded like someone Leila would have been friends with if they had ever met. But they would never get the chance to meet because she was dead. She stroked Colin's hair with a tender hand as he was nearing the end of the story. She didn't know what to say. I'm sorry? Leila knew herself that those two words didn't really help in any way.

"She loves you. That's why she did that, I believe. Her love for you was stronger than her self preservation and she sacrificed herself so that you'd get the chance to live your life even if she would no longer physically be with you through it." She replied quietly. "In a way I can understand her for that. I think we both want you to live your life to the fullest. I'd like to be there for that alongside you, if only so you don't get hurt. Reckless dorks tend to get themselves in trouble."

OOC: more griffin jewlery