RICKSHAW THE MOVIE THE NOVEL

First off, any feed back, please email turtleboy420@hotmail.com.

I didn't write it, but it has exactly the same humor I have and was made by a very good friend of mine.


RICKSHAW THE MOVIE THE NOVEL
PROLOGUE: WTF is Rickshaw the Movie!?!?
Rickshaw the Movie is an inspiring movie by Sam Nazvesky about a small 50-year old Asian male. He turns from lowly rickshaw puller to Hero in 0.5! The plot is where Mr. T steals all the Tide, and Rickshaw, unable to cope with dirty clothes, chases after him for the freedom of clean clothing! This is the novel remake of Rickshaw the Movie so far, and this book is so amazing, its inspirational level can be compared to the Holy Bible! Read and be amazed while you witness the adventures of this small 50-year-old rickshaw pulling Asian male.

CHAPTER 1: Tragedy at Appliance Direct
Far away, in an abandoned cracker factory, there lies a threat so powerful, so deadly, there is almost no escape from death if one were to challenge it. A terrorist organization plans to take over the cracker factory and rule the world from there, but that’s not important right now.
In a small shack in Singapore, there lived a small 50-year-old man. His name is Rickshaw. Rickshaw tries his best, and after World War II Rickshaw becomes forgotten for his heroic deeds on helping the Allies. Rickshaw enjoys his quiet life, pulling his rickshaw by day and pulling his rickshaw by night, he tries his best all day. One day after talking to Bromley, his friend from WWII, he decided to do the laundry. So he goes to his shed in the backyard. He opens the cupboard and realizes that the Tide is gone. Hmm.. Maybe I misplaced it. Thought Rickshaw, as he stumbles around his laundry shed. Then, a naked Asian child bursts into the room, yelling “OH, YEAH! LET’S GET TO WORK!”
Rickshaw later realizes that he has run out of Tide. Rickshaw decides to take his rickshaw to Appliance Direct to buy some more Tide. Everyone is in panic. There are fires and broken windows and fire hydrants are destroyed. Amidst the chaos, Rickshaw ignores it and enters the Appliance Direct. A panicked customer dashes past Rickshaw, yelling “Help! All the Tide is stolen! Now I can’t do the laundry!”
Rickshaw suddenly realizes that he must cope with Dirty clothes. He tries his best to cope, but a painful 20 seconds later Rickshaw can’t take it anymore. I must find the culprit for this! Thought Rickshaw to himself. Rickshaw then examines the Appliance Direct – Which is now in ruins. It appears that it was a predetermined plan for someone to steal all the Tide, and not just some bike stealer that made a mistake. Rickshaw buys a new washing machine.
Rickshaw decides to go on a journey to find the person who stole all the Tide. As Rickshaw pulls his rickshaw through the city, which is now in ruins because of all the panic and worrying, he sees this graffiti on the wall that read “Mr. Te whuz herr” ... Some grammar... Thought Rickshaw, wondering why the Grammar Police isn’t patrolling the area. Having being distracted of the bad grammar, Rickshaw misses a vital clue to this mystery of missing mystery laundry detergent.

CHAPTER 2: Doughnuts were his downfall
As Rickshaw Traverses the city in search of clues, he meets up the lady in the tide commercial who said “Let’s wash the napkins!”
She is disoriented by the fact that she cannot wash the napkins anymore. “You there.” said Rickshaw to the Tide Lady.
“Do you know who ate all the doughnuts?” He asked.
“Yes, it was Mr. T.” The Tide Lady answered.
Rickshaw’s first clue! It’s written in the law of being a detective! Rule #425: He who eats all the doughnuts shall steal all the laundry detergent. Rickshaw now knows for sure that Mr. T stole all the Tide. Rickshaw and the Tide Lady team up to find Mr. T, and stop his evil plan.
The next day, the newly formed team sets out to find Mr. T, who for some reason was in Singapore. They decide to split up, trying to find lead of Mr. T’s location. Rickshaw goes into the Appliance Direct, hoping he can find a witness. All of a sudden, a salesman comes out of the washing machine and says “Appliance D’irect!”
Rickshaw, startled by the sudden ambush, pimp slaps the salesman. The salesman, who is dazed and confused now, crawls back into the washing machine. Rickshaw presses the “SUPER WASH” button on the Washing machine and continues on his search for clues. Meanwhile the Tide Lady searches for clues in a nearby Coffee shop with the sign reading “Your Mother.”
The store ower starts to sing “Dugu Dugu, Dugu Dugu, Dugu Dugu, Dugu Dugu du Da da da!”
Tide Lady knows that he’s been attacked by the addicting taste of Sawdust and Pizza. Yoda. The Tide lady finds the store’s doughnut section, which is empty, and footprints leading to America. She knows where Mr. T went.





Meanwhile, Rickshaw, who is still in search of clues, searches all the appliances in the store. He finds a Hamster hiding in the fridge. The Hamster, startled that someone has found his location, lets out a loud shriek. Then the Hamster stops its shriek, and asks Rickshaw, “Can you spare some money? I’m doing my marathon, ‘Hammy’s Marathon of Hope.’”
Rickshaw decides to pick Hammy up. “Trust.” Says Rickshaw.
Hammy then proceeds to bite Rickshaw’s hand. “Ow! Hammy you doggie bag!”
And that’s how it happened. The fated meeting of Rickshaw and Hammy. Rickshaw then puts Hammy in his Rickshaw.
Then, The Tide Lady enters the room in a sort of rush. “Rickshaw! I know where Mr. T is! He’s in America... Also I bought a .50 Caliber Machine gun”
“From a COFFEE SHOP?!?” Hammy Decides to steal it, and attach it to Rickshaw’s rickshaw using nothing but a rock, some rope and some duct tape. Thus transforming it to a prototype Battle Rickshaw! Rickshaw and Tide Lady are both surprised in Hammy’s excellent ‘engineering’.

CHAPTER 3: Ballad of Poncho
And so, Rickshaw, the Tide lady and Hammy set out on a quest for America. Along the way, they meet a man wearing a poncho. “Excuse me, sir?” asks Rickshaw.
Before Rickshaw could finish, the man in the poncho hopped, scared or something alike to that reaction, and dashed away with blinding speed. Having been startled by his amazing escape, they give chase. Rickshaw pulls his Battle Rickshaw, heavily pursuing the man in the poncho as Hammy mans the gun. Hammy was practicing his aim on a few rocks shaped like Billy Mays. Then, Hammy accidently shoots the real Billy Mays.
Billy Mays, mad as Hell, suddenly turns into a giant mecha Oxy-Clean bottle. As Rickshaw throws the Tide lady a Fish-rocket launcher, Hammy fires the Battle Rickshaw’s gun at the Mecha Oxy Clean. The Mecha Oxy-Clean fires Toxic Oxy-Clean balls at Rickshaw’s Battle Rickshaw, as Rickshaw swerves around them with excellent Precision. Both passengers on the Battle Rickshaw fires at the Mecha Bottle, but its Mighty Putty shield is too powerful for bullets alone. Then, Hammy Pulls out an RPG-7 and aims it at the tip of the Mecha spray bottle. Hammy fires at it and it hits the front head on. The Mecha Oxy-Clean’s Mighty Putty force field was destroyed by the hit. Tide Lady then uses the grenade launcher and fires into the Oxy-clean Bottle, The Oxy-Clean bottle explodes, and the acid spreads everywhere, melting every Rock, Tree and bike in the area.



Then, the acid melts a hut, where a Mexican man hiding in what was a hut is revealed. It was the same man in the poncho. Rickshaw approaches the man and once again said “Excuse me,”
The Startled poncho man had nowhere to run this time. “Do you know where Mr. T is?”
The poncho man doesn’t understand English very well, but he tried his best to respond “Mr. T se encuentra en los Estados, y parecía haber perdido mi amigo Omar”
Rickshaw, thanks to his book “5-second Spanish”
Instantly learns Spanish and responds to Poncho. “Muchas gracias y lo intentaremos encontrar Omar, ¿cuál es tu nombre?”
The man in the Poncho responds “..”
And so, Poncho runs of in the distance because he has no time to lose, THE ENFORCER is still hot on his trail. As Rickshaw and friends travel Singapore with their Battle Rickshaw, in search for the American Border, they prepare for the worst, They meet Bromley. Rickshaw asks him, “What are YOU doing here?!?”
Bromley explains his story as of why he was in the middle of a Desert in Singapore, but his story was quickly ignored. And so, Bromley joined Rickshaw’s Battle Rickshaw force, forming the R-Team.
They travel Singapore, in search of more clues as to where Mr. T is, instead they find chocolate bars, seems to be Doc Louis’ favourite brand of chocolate bar too, called the Bikelate Bar.
The R-Team then runs into a man, who’s name is Chuck Borris. Rickshaw tries to confront the Chuck Norris lookalike, but he stands there silently still. Rickshaw charges at Chuck Borris with amazing speed. Chuck Borris then pulls out an M60 from his afro and fires at the Battle Rickshaw. The bullets bounce off like rubber, and one hits Chuck Boris in the eye. He dies.
The R-Team continues on their journey, and Rickshaw then reaches his next destination. They arrive at a local bike store, “The Cycle path” The store owner seems distressed. “What’s wrong?” asked Rickshaw “What happened to all the bikes?”
The owner started sobbing and said “They were stolen... By Doc Louis!"
Everyone in the store gasped. “Doc LOUIS!?!?” exclaimed Rickshaw in total astonishment.
Apparently Doc Louis stole every bike in the store. “I remember Doc Louis! He stole my bike When I was trying to snowboard in a volcano!” Said the Tide Lady.

Then, Poncho enters the store with a book 5 Second English “Please help me! THE ENFORCER is right behind me! Hide me!”
So Rickshaw shoves Poncho in the Battle Rickshaw. Then, a not-so-impressive-yet-at-the-same-time-somewhat-impressive figure enters the store, wearing a ridiculous helmet and aviator shades. “Do you know where Poncho is? He is an illegal immigrant and is trying to enter America!”
Nobody responds, because they are too busy grieving the loss of the bikes. THE ENFORCER then eats a bike lock and leaves the room. Poncho is safe for another day.

CHAPTER 4: Disco the Que.
And so the R-Team, defeating their first enemy, and rescuing Poncho twice, get closer and closer to the border. Then, Mr. T appears, holding a bottle of the Tide. Mr. T decides to Challenge Rickshaw to a Disco Party Dance-Off, for the Tide. They head to the closest Disco club, DISCOTHEQUE (Not to be mistaken for DISCOTHEQUE, DISCOTHEQUE, DISCOTHEQUE, or any other pronunciation variant. It’s pronounced “DISCO-THE-CUE”)
Determined for victory, Mr. T’s Mohawk transforms to an afro. Rickshaw then uses his Rickshaw hat’s powers, to create a Disco Party, A DJ appears, the disco ball starts swimming, like a dolphin, It’s one the Legendary Dolphin Disco Balls! Mr. T has heard of the legend, If you throw one of the balls in the sun, the other will fly into the sky and there will be eternal partying.
Mr. T decides to throw the disco ball into the sun, but he needs to find a way to get to it first. So in the disco party duel, Rickshaw, who is unaware of the legend of the Dolphin disco ball, tries his best to defeat Mr. T whilst Mr. T Attempts to get to the disco ball. Mr. T jumps up in the sky, so he can use Rickshaw as a spring board to grab the disco ball. He jumps off of Rickshaw, who was protected by the powerful Rickshaw Hat, to grab the disco ball. He then throws it at the sun. The Disco the ball flew into orbit, instead of hitting the sun, and is now known as Earth’s second moon “DISCOTHEQUE”. Rickshaw and Bromley then beats him up.

CHAPTER 5: lol, internet
Having won the disco dance duel by default, because Rickshaw attacked Mr. T, (Even though it was Mr. T that jumped off of Rickshaw’s head first) He wins and gets to keep the Tide. He escapes with his life, and the Tide. The R-Team must now find another way to recover the Tide. The Tide Lady then comes up with a suggestion. “Next let’s wash the napkins!”
However, it is impossible to wash the napkins, any other detergent would tear the napkins. Next, He wonders why, but he has the feeling he’s being watched. Rickshaw then suddenly gets attacked by Ronald McDonald driving a blue car pointing his finger in the air. Rickshaw, who was protected by his invincible Rickshaw hat, gets up from the assault unharmed. Was that an assassin? Was it a careless driver? Or was it some crazy clown who escaped an insane asylum?
And so, to find more clues about Mr. T and his hideout, they give chase to Ronald McDonald. Rickshaw and the R-Team plans to begin to assault on Ronald McDonald, but first they must find out where he goes. After some brief research, the Tide Lady found out that Ronald McDonald has been going around attacking people at random while saying “lol, internet”. A goat appears and begins to eat some grass underneath them. Their first clue! After an attack, a goat appears to eat the grass around the victims.
The R-Team searches the town for Ronald McDonald, hoping to capture him or steal his car for use against Mr. T. They find a person who appears to have been attacked by Ronald McDonald, a goat eating corn next to him. Rickshaw asks the person, “Hey, you alright? Who did this to you?”
The person turns out to be Poncho, who was attacked by Ronald McDonald while trying to escape THE ENFORCER. Poncho then replies to Rickshaw “I was attacked by a clown. He was pointing his finger in the air, perhaps he’s pointing at DISCOTHEQUE, that new moon that’s orbiting the earth. I think I heard him say ‘lol, internet’ or something...”
Rickshaw understands the situation. Ronald McDonald attacks at random. So he waits for his next attack. A month passes and Ronald McDonald has attacked many people, but he has yet to attack the R-Team, The R-Team can’t get any clues until they capture Ronald McDonald, and will get nowhere. One day, However, The crazy clown drives by and prepares to hit Rickshaw, Rickshaw with his awesome Battle Rickshaw and Rickshaw hat avoids getting hit by the Clown with a reckless driving habit.


Rickshaw engages an epic battle with Ronald McDonald, each trying to stop each other from moving. Rickshaw’s pure determination, However was able to defeat the crazed clown. His trusty Rickshaw hat shielded him from impact, and successfully stopped the Crazed fast food mascot’s movement.
After capturing Ronald McDonald, The R-Team begins to interrogate him. “What are your motives?” Asks Rickshaw.
“Ran Ran Ruuu!” Replies Ronald McDonald.
This looks like it isn’t going work out easily, but with determination Rickshaw can get the answers he wants. “What are your motives?” asks Rickshaw once again.
The Same answer comes out. “Ran Ran Ruuu!”
This is starting to get repetitive. So, he decides to launch him into the sun, via THE ENFORCER CANNON (Patent Pending). Then, through a stroke of luck, Poncho passes by. “THE ENFORCER is after me! I must escape!”
They hide Poncho in the Battle rickshaw and THE ENFORCER appears. Wearing a beanie hat and an odd pair of aviator shades, he asks the R-Team, “Excuse me, have you seen Poncho? I need to launch him back to Mexico via my ENFORCER CANNON (Patent Pending)”
Rickshaw’s plan is now in action. “Here’s your Poncho” He says, holding up Ronald McDonald. “I think it’d be more effective if you launched him into the sun.”
And so, he did. THE ENFORCER put Ronald McDonald into the ENFORCER CANNON (Patent Pending), and launched Ronald McDonald into the sun. He hits DISCOTHEQUE instead and then he rebounds off the Moon (The first one) and he transforms into a Tim Horton’s Restaurant on the moon.
“That’s it!” Bromley exclaims, as he made a sudden realization on Mt. T’s location, after successfully launching Ronald McDonald into orbit. “Mr. T is hiding in his hideout! It’s located in Singapore!”
And so, they realize they are closer to their destination than they thought. They stopped their journey to America, and begin to comb Singapore for Mr. T’s possible hideout.

CHAPTER 6: Omar’s Story
Meanwhile, at Mexico, Omar makes his journey to find Poncho. Omar was abandoned by Poncho in their attempts to escape THE ENFORCER. He was launched back across the border, after trying to make it to America. Having no sense of direction, Poncho got lost and ended up in Singapore. “Poncho, where are you?” Omar calls out everyday, hoping to find his colleague. He then realizes that Poncho probably made it to America without him, working at a Doughnut shop for 4,941,337 pesos a month (2 Dollars, US). Omar begins his journey to find Poncho, with scolding him to death with fiery rage on his mind.
Upon leaving his hometown a second time, he remembers how prepared him and Poncho and were. They set off to St. Rixxa, the city of hope for people who try to escape, as it has an under ground passageway to America’s border. Once they got there they had bought many things for their journey, but it turns out the hole was tiny, so they sold it at a pawn shop for 20,000,000 pesos (about 10 dollars, US).
When Omar went to St. Rixxa the second time, he returned to the Pawn shop, bought everything back that he sold for 20,000,000 pesos (contrary to the previous statement, it’s actually worth about 1.6 cents, US). This time, instead of the trying the secret passageway, which caved in during their last attempt, Omar directly made his journey towards the border. It turns out, all the materials that were used consisted of Chia-Pets, which proved useless. Omar thought to himself That was such a waste of my 20,000,000 pesos! I could have bought a doughnut with that in America! Omar traveled a day and a night, another day and a night, and eventually, he found some clues as of the location of Poncho. He met a koala with an afro named Ohm, who was the real creator of Ohm’s law, but The other guy came in and stole it, along with his bike and his Shrinky-Dink machine.
Ohm told Omar that Poncho was last seen in Singapore, and Omar could try flying there via Hang-glider. So Omar set off to find the closest Hang-Glider rental store, and rented a Hang-glider for 10 pesos (virtually worth nothing, but due to current economy changes it is now worth about 5,632,455 Dollars US) Omar set course to Singapore, but had some troubles along the way. He was flying through a highway, and almost hit a truck. Then he lost balance and landed in a local zoo, where he was attacked by monkeys that were wearing cowboy hats. Will Omar ever meet up with Poncho? Omar anticipates his heart warming reunion with his colleague, and continues with his hang-gliding, while being pursued by the monkeys, who were also equipped with hang-gliders

CHAPTER 7: Lost in the Gummi Zone
The R-Team continues on their quest for the Tide, but then, something terrible happens. “Where’s Hammy?” Asks the Tide Lady, who is slowly going to become insane because she hasn’t washed any napkins in months.
They look around. No sign of Hammy. “Oh no!” screams Bromley in shock. “Hammy’s trapped in the Gummi Zone! We have to go save him!”
And so, the R-Team puts off their search for Mr. T, and sets off for the Gummi Zone, so they can get their financially-troubled hamster back.
About ten days, three hours, 25 minutes, 5 seconds and 12 nanoseconds later, they find themselves in the Gummi Zone. They have to find Hammy! The Gummi Zone is a world much like the Earth we live in, However, the only colour that exists there is green, because everything there is made of gummi.
The R-Team sets out to look for the homeless-if-it-weren’t-a-hamster hamster. It shouldn’t be too hard to find Hammy, because everything else is green. Then, they find a pimp holding a hamster cage. “Hammy!” Calls Rickshaw.
The pimp then notices the differently coloured people, and turns into a giant gummi worm. “It’s a trap! You have to pay him money so we can get out of here! But I have no money! Can you spare some money?” Hammy warns the R-Team, but They have other things in mind.
“You fools,” Laughs the giant Gummi worm “You can’t defeat me, I rule this world!”
Bromley proceeds with eating it. “My one weakeness! My sugary goodness! WOAAAAAGH I’M FREE NAO!”
Bromley has single handly defeated the Gummi Worm of death, by simply eating it.
Now the only thing that’s left to do is find a way out of the Gummi Zone, but that’s not something they can just do. They must find a way to escape, and return to the normal world so they can find Mr. T and recover the Tide.

CHAPTER 8 : Don’t trust dem new genies…
The R-Team finds themselves trapped in the Gummi Zone, but they will find a way out. They search the Gummi Zone with their Battle Rickshaw, and they shoot and eat whatever Gummi worm, platypus or lemming attacks them. They find themselves in Gummipore, the Gummi version of Singapore. Suddenly, a Gummi genie flies in on a magic Sham-Wow. The genie has granted the R-Team 2 wishes. Jumping at the chance to solve his financial problems, Hammy wishes for money, and lots of it. The Genie grants his wish, and money rains from the sky. However, Hammy is displeased, it turns out, they only have GummiMonee, the currency of the Gummi Zone. They end up eating it all instead. Hammy remains with no money.
Their second wish was to leave the Gummi Zone, and return to Earth. The Genie does so, and transports the R-Team back to Earth. The R-Team didn’t specify where they wanted to be transported, so they were dumped on the Principality of Sealand instead. In a fit of rage, and a little bit of insanity due to unwashed napkins, The Tide Lady eats the Gummi genie. Now they are trapped on a former WWII base, who decided to make themselves a country.
The leader of Sealand approaches the R-Team, a butler following. “Hello. I am Prince Roy Bates, glad to have visitors!” says Prince Bates, Welcoming the R-Team.
“Would you like me to get our guests some tea, Master Bates?” asks the butler, trying to keep a straight face.
“Will you please stop calling me that?” exclaims Prince Bates, trying to discipline the butler with much failure.
“Yes, Master Bates. I live to serve.”
The R-Team needs to make a decision once again. Should they stay a while and prepare for their next trip to find Mr. T? Or should they leave right away to launch a surprise attack on Mr. T? Rather than making those decisions, they decided on taking over Sealand. They take Prince Bates hostage.
Then, they realize that Prince Bates is of no use at all, because he is Master Bates. Nobody’s going to take him seriously. However, Sealand is a much more powerful country than people anticipate. Sealand transforms into a powerful combat submarine and the R-Team calibrates it to lock on to their target – The Tide. The submarine activates it’s lock-on missiles, and will launch at Mr. T’s location. “FIRE THE MISSLES!” Exclaims Rickshaw, and he presses the launch button.

There was a malfunction in the lock-on system. Instead of launching towards “Large mass of laundry detergent” it locked on to “Potentially homosexual prepubescent singer”. The missiles fly towards Justin Beiber and destroy him and the explosion sent his body parts flying in many different directions, thus ensuring his death. Everyone in the world (with the exception of ditzy 12 year old girls and potentially homosexual 12 year old boys) started to cheer, and they deemed the R-Team as heroes.
Meanwhile, at Mr. T’s hideout.... “Damn!” Thought Mr. T. “Someone has beaten me to my plan of destroying Justin Beiber in order to earn the people’s respect! Now I must prepare another plan!”
It just so happens to be that killing Justin Beiber was Mr. T’s plan to gain an army to defend himself. The R-Team has (unwittingly) foiled Mr. T’s plans once again. Back at the Principality of Sealand Combat Submarine, the R-Team makes it’s next plan on finding Mr. T’s location, because the missles were actually an their method of pointing out Mr. T’s location, and destroying him in the process. Things are beginning to become tense, and the battle for the Tide has just begun.

CHAPTER 9: The true battle begins...
Both the Mr. T and Rickshaw have come up with an identical plan, they plan to hold a race, and the winner wins the Tide. Mr. T tries to call up Rickshaw and Rickshaw does the same for Mr. T. However, their calls took place at the same time, so the phone’s signal got confused and begun to attack each other fiercely. The signals rallied up troops for armies. One army was called the Bling Army, the other the Sedge Army. The Bling Army began steal the Sedge Army’s supplies, leaving them with no other choice but to fight directly in a brave effort to get the supplies back, but first they decided to scout the area for weaknesses in the Bling Army. The Sedge Army finds a stray phone signal from Mexico, It’s a phone call from Omar, trying to find Poncho.
The Sedge Army asks the stray phone signal for help, and it agrees so. Omar, confused that the call didn’t make it anywhere, calls again. He repeats the cycle a few times now, as none of the calls ever ring. And so, as Omar makes more phone calls, more and more stray phone signals make it to the Sedge Army, and the Sedge Army grows larger. Eventually, the Sedge Army doubles the Bling Army in numbers. So they begin a direct assault. The Bling Army was prepared for this attack However, as they begin to distract the Sedge Army with their awesome dance moves. The Sedge Army, unfazed by the distraction, attacks the Bling Army, causing serious damage to their defences.
Both sides now are fighting to get to the other side, the Sedge Army getting closer to their goal, then, a call signal so fast, so powerful zooms by, and strikes the Sedge Army, pushing them back a fair bit. The call signal is actually for McDonald’s new delivery service. Their slogan is “Our deliveries are so fast, you’ll suddenly laugh out loud about the internet!” The Sedge Army will have to hold their ground against the rogue call signals from McDonalds before advancing further, or they will only get pushed back even more...
The Sedge Army is now fighting off both the Bling Army and the random calls for McDonalds. The Sedge Army tries to lure the calls from McDonalds and direct them against the Bling Army, their efforts fail, as they are sent to the moon instead.
Meanwhile, at the moon, a spaceship from another dimension visits, mistaking it for Earth...“(What are these strange signals we are receiving from Earth?)”
Alien #1 says to Ninja #2. “いいえアイデアは、どのような詳細については、宇宙海賊ナンバー3765？(No Idea, What do you think of this, Space Pirate #3765?)”
Space Pirate #3765 is also confused in what the calls are. “I have the faintest idea, I mean, what is a ‘Double-Triple Big Artery Clogger Mac’? Sounds like a painful execution technique they use back at my planet...”

Alien #1, Ninja #2 and Space Pirate #3765 then begin a quest to find out what a ‘Double-Triple Big Artery Clogger Mac’ is... But that is another story...
Two of the Soldiers from the Sedge Army try to escape the war, and into an American phone line, but are caught by a Sergeant. One of the soldiers blame the other for kidnapping him. The Sergeant launches one of them out of his SERGEANT CANNON (Patent Pending) before he could say anything. Poor soldier was abandoned by his friend, and now he must find him again... That... is also another story.
As more and more potential side stories branch off from this one, the Sedge Army sends their special forces to infiltrate the Bling Army and attack from the inside. However, they got trapped in the Squishy Zone where they were attacked by a giant O Henry! Bar. They managed to fight it off, then they were greeted by a Mint Genie. The Spec Ops wished for more money and a way back to the war. They got forty thousand theoretical dollars and were sent to the Principality of Mobileland, the smallest phone network ever. They turned it into a submarine, and they launch a nuke from it, killing both the Sedge Army and the Bling Army, and any other phone signal that was active.
The blast from the nuke has destroyed every call in progress there was, including the 911 call that Tiger Woods’ neighbour was making when he saw Tiger’s Escalade crash into a fire hydrant. Tiger Woods’ mother then immediately responds with a “What Happen?!?”, which later became the world’s most famous one-liner, but that’s also another unnecessary side story. The phone companies took 4.5235325425624642X hours to recover, with a recovery cost of 1 peso (worth pretty much nothing). “Hmmm,” Both Rickshaw and Mr. T say, “I guess I’ll e-mail him.” And so, the e-mails will wage war, and be the Second World-Communication-War..

CHAPTER 10: Transforming a Nation
The R-Team prepares their racing vehicle ahead of time, because Mr. T was supposedly not expecting a race challenge. They turbo charge a random motor-rickshaw they found in the Combat Submarine’s storage, and dub it the “Turbo-Shaw”. Mr. T was thinking the same thing, instead, he made a race car using only some wire, a stuffed cat, and a race car. Once they had prepared their vehicles, they seeked out each other to challenge them to a race. However, that was harder than anticipated, now that both parties were moving around. Mr. T was unaware that the R-Team is underwater, and the R-Team is still trying to find land. The R-Team makes it to England. Next, they must find a way back to Singapore. They try the airport, but they forgot that they had no money.
Now they must find another way to travel. Thinking fast, they calibrate the Principality of Sealand Combat Submarine to transform into a turbo jet. The Principality of Sealand Fighter Jet zooms towards Singapore, to find and challenge Mr. T to the race, but Mr. T is constantly on the move, so they couldn’t locate him. To find him, they lock on their custom-seeking missiles, which can lock on to anything of the user’s choice, to a man with a Mohawk and wearing bling. There was a malfunction once again, and the missiles lock on to the creators of Twilight instead, and launch by themselves once more.
Meanwhile, somewhere between Reality and fangirl land, There is a movie currently being written. “Alright, since we already made vampires and werewolves look like absolute pansies anyway, let’s make another cool mythical being look like a total loser. All the 12-year olds will drool over them!” says a fat-cat producer, who dreams of draining all the money from spoiled 12-year old girls and their oblivious parents.
“But sir,” blurts out one of the interns “You already ruined the image of vampire and werewolf fans, please don’t turn another group of fans into squealing 12-year olds!”
The fat-cat producer is not impressed. “I don’t give a crap! All I want is money, and what’s the easiest way to do that?!?” The fat-cat producer sounds like Hammy now... “...Lemonade stand...?”
“NO! It’s spewing out crappy movies about mythical creatures!”
Just then, in the distance, 4 bright glows approach them. “What is THAT?”
“So bright!”
“I wonder what’s for dinner tonight..?” The staff begin to panic.
“Don’t worry! It’s the spirit of the movie writers coming to-” BOOM! Once again everyone in the world, with the exception of 12-year olds, begin to cheer.



The Lock-on system seems to be out of the question, because it keeps firing at things that 12-year olds worship, so the R-Team stops using that system to locate Mr. T for now. Meanwhile, Mr. T, who witnessed the explosion, finds out Rickshaw’s location, and begins to move to find him. The R-Team’s Jet speeds past him, and Mr. T gives chase. Mr. T uses his Mohawk powers to fly to the sky, and Mr. T becomes a turbo-jet as well.
The Tide Lady notices the Mr. T turbo-jet on the radar “There’s a bogey on our tail!”
Bromley knows exactly what to do in this moment. “Try a summersault!”
Hammy goes up to Bromley and asks “Can you spare some money?”
Bromley refuses, and the Principality of Sealand Fighter Jet does a summersault, unable to shake Mr. T off its tail. “What do we do now? We can’t shake ‘em!”
The R-Team is in panic. Rickshaw, using his amazing skills to use his Rickshaw hat as a thinking cap, springs an idea. “Only one thing left to do.... Do a barrel roll!”
The R-Team agrees. This is the last thing they can do to escape the bogey. The Principality of Sealand Fighter Jet beings doing barrel rolls, avoiding Mr. T’s challenge letter missiles. Then, as soon as the Principality of Sealand stops barrel rolling, the challenge letter missiles hit the Jet.

The R-Team is astounded that the Principality of Sealand Fighter Jet isn’t damaged at all, so they decide to analyse the missiles that hit it. It turns out that they are made of paper, and the envelopes read the large letters “CHALLENGE LETTER” on it. They decide to use a megaphone to contact the bogey behind them, which they still don’t know is Mr. T. However, there is no megaphone on the Principality of Sealand, so they have to make one themselves. Bromley, with his WWII genius, builds a megaphone with only a bike, a cup of coffee, a beaver, some rope, and a megaphone. Now they have to read the Challenge letter first.

CHAPTER 11: Thinking inside the box
Getting one of the challenge letters inside without casualty is going to be tough. The R-Team must somehow capture one of the challenge letter missiles, without damaging the interior of the jet, which will prove difficult, because they are moving at a neck-breaking speed of 13 km/h. Then, they must use their Bromley Brand Megaphone to contact the sender of the letters. The R-Team needs to figure out a plan. Since the Challenge letters appear to be targeting Rickshaw, their plan was to open the hatch, and use Prince Bates as a shield, so the equipment was to remain undamaged. While the hatch remains open, they will use their Bromley Brand Megaphone to say that they have accepted the challenge, and see what happens from there.
First, They dress up Prince Bates in dirty clothing and make him wear a Rickshaw hat, to trick the Rickshaw-seeking challenge letter missiles, “You think this will work, Rickshaw?”
“I’m not Rickshaw, I’m Prince Bates!”
Yup, The disguise even fooled the Bromley. They open the hatch, and Prince Bates, who is still under the title of ‘hostage’ calls out for help, instead of following the plan. “HELP! THE’VE TAKEN ME HOSTA-” Before he can finish, he is bombarded by the challenge letters. The plan worked.
The Challenge letter read:
We shall race for the Tide. Meet me at Singapore Speedway, and bring your own wager as well. (Preferably in Pesos, I heard they’re going to be worth a lot soon.)
I pity da foo’
-Mr. T ♥
Now the R-Team knows it’s Mr. T’s challenge letter, and he had the same thing in mind. Now that Prince Bates is of no use to the R-Team anymore, they put him in a cardboard box and throw him at Mr. T (who is still in the form of a jet) Inside the box, the prince thinks to himself, Yup, Sealand is the greatest country in the world... I shall pass on it’s glory to the R-Team and Rickshaw will lead it to greatness. Hmm… I really shouldn’t have ate that taco last night…and Prince Bates was never heard of again… Then again, he was never heard of at all anyway, so it isn’t a big deal.

CHAPTER 12: 21st Century Chivalry
After all the commotion in the sky, it was finally time for the race for the Tide. The Turbo-Shaw and Mr. T’s race car were ready to go, and the race was about to begin. Knowing that Mr. T will have a trick or two up his sleeve, Rickshaw prepares some tricks of his own. Singapore Stadium is silent, but will soon be the loudest thing in Singapore. They line up at the starting line. Then, FWOOSH! Mr. T rushes away from the starting line, before the countdown even begins. Rickshaw also starts, but is now well behind Mr. T.
Rickshaw was well prepared for this race, as he has installed N2O into the Turbo-Shaw. He pushes the button for the Nitrous boost, and slowly catches up with Mr. T. Mr. T has been prepared for the race as well, he turns on the auto-pilot, and he stands up on the roof of his car, with a lance. Rickshaw knows what Mr. T is planning, and he turns on Auto-pilot as well. Rickshaw and Mr. T are now both on the roof of their cars with lances. They know what they are to do. Mr. T’s car turns around, and charges towards the Turbo-Shaw. Rickshaw ducks under Mr. T’s lance, and turns around to face Mr. T. Mr. T also turns around and charges again.
Rickshaw was more prepared than Mr. T had anticipated. Rickshaw drops his lance and eats a stick of butter, to protect himself. Rickshaw becomes morbidly obese. Rickshaw was protected from the blow from Mr. T’s lance, but because he is now obese, needs to puke. He rushes to the washroom to puke, and in his regurgitation, he finds a golden ring. Rickshaw puts the ring on and is now a bucket of water. Rickshaw, being unable to drive the Turbo-Shaw, lost the race, and Mr. T claims the Tide and 19,000,000 pesos, which is a lot of money.

CHAPTER 13: Back to the past
Rickshaw, now being a bucket of water, needs to find someone to turn him back into a human and continue to pursue Mr. T. They find a space wizard and pay him 10 pesos (worth about 90,000,000 dollars US) to cast a spell on him. However, they forgot to specify what spell to cast on him, and Rickshaw is sent back in time to 1888.
Rickshaw ends up in an old town, with horses and rickshaws. Many moons ago... rickshaws were pulled by hand. Rickshaw nets a job as a Rickshaw puller, thinking there’s no way to get back to modern times. Rickshaw then meets fate, THE ENFORCER’s great great great grandfather, THE ENFORCER. “Where the heck is that damn Pedro?” THE ENFORCER asks to himself.
“If I don’t stop him, he’ll be the great great great grandfather of a man named Poncho ...Why look, a bucket of water!!”
Having thought Rickshaw was an innocent bucket of water, he kicks it.
Rickshaw forgot he was a bucket of water, so he has to find another way to approach THE ENFORCER. Maybe if he found a way to help THE ENFORCER, THE ENFORCER might find a way to turn Rickshaw back into Rickshaw, and send him back forward in time.
Rickshaw needs to find a way to disguise himself before approaching THE ENFORCER, so he uses the money he earned from his Rickshaw pulling job to buy a cowboy hat. With his watery insides concealed, now Rickshaw is ready to face THE ENFORCER. With a stroke of luck, THE ENFORCER passes by again. “I still can’t find that dang Pedro!”
Now’s his chance. “You’re The Enforcer, right?” asks Rickshaw.
“I ain’t no Enforcer.” THE ENFORCER replies.
Rickshaw is puzzled in why THE ENFORCER refuses to give his identity. THE ENFORCER continues. “...I ain’t no Enforcer, Pardner, I’m THE ENFORCER, You spell it with capitals, Y’hear?”
“Oh, I see.” Rickshaw finally understands.
“Well you see, I can help you find Pedro, The Enforce- uh... THE ENFORCER.” Rickshaw begins. Looks like the disguise seems to be working! Rickshaw got THE ENFORCER listening...
“You can help me find this here Pedro, huh? What do I need to do in return?” asks THE ENFORCER. “Well, you may not believe it, but I’m from the future. If I help you, I need you to find a way to get me back.”
THE ENFORCER is not surprised. “Well of course you’re from the future, Nobody in 1888 can pull a rickshaw THAT well. Alright, I’ll help you back.”
And so, Rickshaw and THE ENCFORCER went on to search for Pedro. They try to find Pedro, but all they find are goats. THE ENFORCER, who is good at looking for things, finds a goat with TNT attached to it. “Look out! It’s a terrorist goat!” BOOM!
The goat explodes, and Rickshaw and THE ENFORCER get launched into space. Having flown into space, THE ENFORCER has earned the title of Space Cowboy, and because Rickshaw was flown into space, he has earned the title of Rickshaws in Space. This was the weirdest stroke of luck, as they have found Pedro, hiding out on the moon in a little shack. Having being in space for a while now, Pedro has earned the title of True Mexican Hero G. I. Jose. “What’s the secret message?”
Pedro asks, only his eyes visible. “Rickshaw tries his best” Rickshaw says.


THE ENFORCER pokes Pedro in the eye and throws open the door. The inside of the shack turned out to be a casino. Who would have thought there would be so much room in the shack!
The casino has many Pedro Look-alikes, It seems that Pedro was more prepared than they thought. It was Pedro’s Space Casino, which was around for 5 years already. THE ENFORCER was closer than to his goal than he thought. Now all they must do is search the Space casino. Rickshaw didn’t notice, but he turned back to normal. Maybe because the explosion from the goat-bomb messed up his atoms, or when he flew through space the golden ring stopped working. They meet a man named Dubaiz, who looks just like Pedro. “Excuse me, do you know where Pedro is?”
Dubaiz doesn’t know who THE ENFORCER is. “To get to boss, you must gample your way to him!”
but Rickshaw and THE ENFORCER don’t know what gampling is. “Allow me to explain. Gampling is gambling, but with apples.”
Now Rickshaw and THE ENFORCER knows what to do. However, they don’t have apples, so they were forced to wager their Adam’s apples.
And so a game of Craps begins. However, before they were able to place their bets, a Rickshaw lookalike, crashes his rickshaw through the wall, with no pants on, throwing hamburgers everywhere. The hamburgers are very dangerous projectiles now, as Rickshaw skilfully dodges them all. Pedro comes out of the room (the real one) and he looks pretty annoyed. “Why are you all causing such a commotion in my casino?!”
A stray hamburger hits him in the baby toe and he vomits out a flock of vampire bats. The vampire bats fly out the window, but melt from the sight of the sun. As the pant-less Rickshaw lookalike continues throwing the hamburgers, and Rickshaw continues to skilfully dodge, THE ENFORCER chases after Pedro. Pedro, startled that he was found, quickly puts on his disguise, a pair of gag glasses (Fake glasses with the nose and moustache.) “Where did that damn Pedro run off to this time?!”

Pedro’s plan has worked. Pedro notices a horse trying to steal Rickshaw lookalike’s rickshaw, and Pedro hops in the rickshaw as the horse pulls it away as the Rickshaw lookalike and Rickshaw are preoccupied with their hamburger related activities. THE ENFORCER decides to make chase with Pedro, even though it might not be him due to his witty costume.





As THE ENCFORCER gets closer to the possibly-Pedro, the might-be-Pedro takes cover in the stolen rickshaw, so THE ENFORCER doesn’t see his face. The horse keeps pulling the rickshaw down the road, and THE ENFORCER continues to gain on the most-likely-Pedro. confirmed-to-be-Pedro, who is getting desperate, takes out freshly ground black peppers, and throws them at THE ENFORCER. The black peppers become killer bees, and rush towards THE ENFORCER. THE ENFORCER bats them away using his THE ENFORCER BIBLE (Patent Pending), and they bounce off like rubber. The killer bees fly off into the sun. Pedro is losing distance, and needs to get away fast.
As a desperation attempt, The horse who stole the rickshaw veers into a nearby office building, trying to escape THE ENFORCER. The horse climbs the stairs, as the rickshaw with Pedro in it bumps up and down, bumping Pedro’s head to the roof of the rickshaw every step of the way. As they tear through photocopiers and cubicles, the people in the office continues to live out their boring lives, hellish internships and their desk jobs. Pedro approaches the elevator, where the door opens to reveal THE ENFORCER. Pedro is shocked! Pedro turns around after receiving a shock from THE ENFORCER’s ENFORCER STUN GUN (Patent Pending), the horse pulling Pedro’s rickshaw makes its way out the window, onto the highway.
Having failed to slow down or confuse THE ENFORCER, Pedro takes matters into his own hands. He throws everything inside of his pockets at THE ENFORCER, including a koala, a few rocks, a plasma rifle, a cruise liner and a sticky keyboard. Pedro, having emptied his pockets, has no other choice. He throws his disguise at THE ENFORCER. They drift into orbit.
Pedro’s out of things to throw, this is the end of the line. He finds a moon rock, and throws that at THE ENFORCER to. The moon rock floats like a bubble into orbit instead. It seems that they forgot that they were on the moon. Pedro, THE ENFORCER and the horse begin to suffocate. They die.

CHAPTER 14: Changing the Rickshaw of Fate’s course
Having changed the course of history, Rickshaw now needs to find a way to go back into time and prevent the chase from happening. In order to do that, nobody must die. However, before battling against a defiled fate, Rickshaw must battle himself. The Rickshaw lookalike continues to throw hamburgers all over Pedro’s space casino. Rickshaw skilfully dodges, and throws freshly ground black peppers at him, However, this time they didn’t turn into killer bees, but into cuddly teddy bears this time. They explode in his face and the Rickshaw lookalike ducks, to avoid the explosions. The Rickshaw lookalike never dodged anything else, because they just bounce off of him.
It appears that Rickshaw has found his enemy’s weakness, cute things exploding. Rickshaw needs to find more explosive cute things. He finds a few poker chips and tries throwing those. They turn into light sabres and they bounce off of the Rickshaw lookalike. No, rickshaw needs to find something that turns into an explosive cute object. Rickshaw finds a teddy bear from the prize section in the special event area, and throws that at Pedro. Having forgotten that most projectiles change form in space, the teddy bear turns into a creepy yellow monster face. The Rickshaw lookalike eats it, and continues to throw the hamburgers.
Rickshaw needs to find something to throw or shoot, and quick. He finds a manga book, and rips out all the pages, then he throws them in all sorts of different directions, including downwards. They transform into daggers. No good, not cute or explosive enough. This cycle is getting time consuming, and the Rickshaw lookalike appears to have an infinite supply of hamburgers. Rickshaw can’t dodge and throw random objects forever. Rickshaw needs to find some way to find out what certain objects turn into. Rickshaw finds a spaceship, and makes it there in Godspeed. There, he encounters Alien #1, Ninja #2 and Space Pirate #3765.
Being the only one that speaks English, Space Pirate #3765 helps give advice to Rickshaw. “If you want explosive cute things, the proof is in the pudding.”
Such sage words of advice. Rickshaw heads to the cafeteria and looks for pudding. He finds all sorts of pudding. He takes them all and returns to where the Rickshaw lookalike is throwing hamburgers. Rickshaw throws all the pudding at him in one swift motion, and the Rickshaw lookalike transforms into evidence from court cases. Such things that were formed were murder weapons, photos (really explicit ones in that matter), and a phoenix, but not limited to that. The things that were thrown were unique and diverse, However, none of these things were cute or explosive.


Rickshaw is confused. Maybe the Space Pirate #3765 was a retard. Rickshaw thinks back to his advice, and analyses “The proof is in the pudding” with much thought. “I got it!”
Rickshaw squeaks, having his voice changed since he’s in space. Rickshaw throws the evidence that was formed from the pudding at the Rickshaw lookalike. They all turn into stuffed cats, which cling on to the Rickshaw lookalike and claw at him. Then they explode, the remaining stuffed cats and the Rickshaw lookalike into space. The battle is over.
Now all Rickshaw must do is go back in time, so he can fix the present time before going back to it. Rickshaw remembers the chocolate bar he found on a cliff in Singapore, the “Bikelate Bar” Having been launched into space, the chocolate bar has time travel capabilities. Rickshaw takes a piece of the Bikelate Bar and eats it. Rickshaw disappears. He dies.













~THE END~
...Just kidding...

Rickshaw is now in the Gummi Zone, dated 1888. This is the perfect place to experiment. Since the goat that exploded triggered the discovery of Pedro’s Space shack casino, which lead to the chase between THE ENFORCER and Pedro, So Rickshaw goes to the place where the exploding goat was. The goat explodes, and Rickshaw was launched into space, before Gummi Rickshaw and THE GUMMI ENFORCER showed up. Next he goes to Gummi Pedro’s Space shack casino, locates the Real Gummi Pedro, and steals him. Rickshaw puts him in the back of his rickshaw, and returns to earth. Rickshaw throws Gummi Pedro to THE GUMMI ENFORCER, and Pedro explodes. They die.
It appears that the plans didn’t work. Rickshaw goes back in time using the Bikelate Bar and tries again. Rickshaw then tries his next plan. He kills the explosive goat before anything could happen. THE ENFORCER’s horse slips on the goat blood, then it turns into a firetruck and explodes. The entire Gummi Zone is eradicated. That plan was terrible...
Time and time again, each attempt fails, one after another. The Bikelate Bar is almost comepletly depleted, Rickshaw only has 2 time travels left. He can no longer experiment in the Gummi Zone. After time travelling once more, Rickshaw returns to the real world, by using his Rickshaw hat to fly. He needs to execute his plan flawlessly. Or else. He goes to the moon, and awaits the arrival of his past self and THE ENFORCER. They arrive just in time, and poke the Pedro look-alike’s eyes and break down the door. They are now inside the space shack casino. While they were inside the shack, Rickshaw goes and finds the moon rock that Pedro threw at THE ENFORCER, triggering their deaths. Rickshaw hides it in his rickshaw, and finds THE ENFORCER catch Pedro. Mission success.
Now, it’s all up to the past Rickshaw to defeat the hamburger throwing Rickshaw look-a-like... Sam, you are the one with the rickshaw... good luck... Rickshaw thinks, as he uses the last of his Bikelate bar to travel back to present day.
So now Rickshaw returns to present day, and everything is intact. Past Rickshaw has won the battle. Rickshaw looks at himself, and realizes he is in the form of a bucket of water again. It seems that travelling back in time never happened. Just as planed. Rickshaw reunites with the R-Team, as they explain what had happened. “The wizard was a time travel wizard! We found the wrong guy!”
And so, having things returned to normal, the R-Team sets out to return Rickshaw back to normal, and hunt down Mr. T.

CHAPTER 15: A better idea
As the R-Team travels to find another wizard, Rickshaw remembers something that happened in 1888, when he was launched into space, he turned back to normal. So Rickshaw urges the R-Team to find him an exploding goat. They go to the place that THE ENFORCER met rickshaw, and find the field of goats, now owned by a farmer named Charlie. Charlie appears to be yelling something back at the house as he continues to work. “I’m not back yet you retards!” Giggles and laughs were heard from inside the house. Rickshaw went to talk to Charlie. “Hello, do you know if you have an exploding goat?”
Charlie has just what he needs. He recently quarantined a highly explosive goat, Smarties, and Charlie plans to make a profit for it. After a heated discussion of how much he Charlie sells his goat for, He had sold it for 5,902,754 pesos. Charlie uses the pesos to buy many things for him and his family, since the pesos are currently worth 100 times more than the average dollar. However, Charlie’s family continue to yell at Charlie for selling their favourite goat. “but mom, it was gonna explode anyway!”
Then as the years pass, Charlie needed to watch what he said, because if he said words such as Smarties, chocolate, Skittles, or etc. He will go through all the whining again... But that’s a different story.
The R-Team puts Rickshaw on the goat, and step back. The goat explodes, sending Rickshaw into space. The plan has worked, Rickshaw is no longer a bucket of water. He lands on DISCOTHEQUE, and finds that it has grown quite large compared to the size it was when it was just a dolphin disco ball. He looks abroad and finds Ronald McDonald, still orbiting around The Moon and DISCOTHEQUE. And in the distance, the moon’s Shack casino is still in business, and the hamburgers and the office buildings still remain there. Then, his cellphone rings. “Hello?”
“Yeah hello, can I have a Double-Triple Artery Clogger Mac?”
It seems that the McDonald’s delivery phone line is still being fired into space... As Rickshaw travels back to earth, he uses his amazing vision to locate Mr. T.
So they return to the Principality of Sealand, now in the form of an Air Fortress. They plan their next strategy in getting the Tide back. Meow. The R-Team looks around, wondering where that meow came from. The meowing was from a kitten wearing mittens. The mittens were covering its paws, so it has no grip. It’s walking funny... Oh, the poor thing. As the R-Team watched the Kitten with mittens waddle along, they found out their plan. Rickshaw needs to be a pimp.
Mr. T continues to carry out his plan to hold on to The Tide. It seems that Mr. T’s intentions are to wait it out until he will carry out his real plan. Mr. T still thinks The R-Team is out of the image, now that Rickshaw was sent to 1888 in the form of a bucket of water.
Rickshaw prepared his equipment, a three dollar pimp coat, a BB gun looking weapon, and finally, his Rickshaw hat. Rickshaw is ready now. He does a dance. Rickshaw gets the R-Team to prepare the Principality of Sealand Fortress to move to Mr. T’s position. As It slowly hovers to the area for Rickshaw’s air drop, Bromley asks “Why are we slowly moving to Mr. T? Why don’t we just transform into a dropship fly there faster?”
Hammy has an answer to that. “Can you spare some money?”
It seems that what he doesn’t have is money. The Tide lady was busy preparing the parachute, but she is only packing a backpack with napkins to wash. So Rickshaw answers Bromley’s question. “It’s for intimidation, seeing a floating fortress silently positing itself over a base would scare and make them think we will fire a laser at them, thus making them panic.” Rickshaw is such a genius.
Rickshaw is now ready to airdrop, having forgot the Tide Lady’s obsession with napkins, he jumps off the fortress with his napkin-filled backpack. When he finds out that it’s just a backpack, he groans. Rickshaw’s not done yet. He takes off his Rickshaw hat, and stands on it. He then lands on a highway, protected by impact because of his Rickshaw hat. However, his falling speed was great, so he can’t slow down. He is now grinding along the road with his hat. He must now apply what he learned in his surfing lessons when he was 23 days old. He is now inside of Mr. T’s temporary hideout, which is Area 51.
As Rickshaw speeds past UFOs and scientists, Rickshaw notices a ramp, and decides to do something to make this story more interesting than it already is. He goes off the ramp, and then lands on the UFO, destroying it, and the explosion launches Rickshaw in the air, and he grabs onto a support beam on the roof, swings around on it, and flies off of it. About to make his amazing Hollywood landing, Rickshaw is going to land on the floor, explosions behind him. However, just as he was about to land, a scientist walks out of the room, saying “Do you know who ate all the doughnu-” Decapitation. Rickshaw’s landing was foiled by the scientist. Oh well. At least he didn’t look at the explosions, making him cooler. Cool people never look at the explosions behind them.

CHAPTER 16: I don’t have a first name for you
Rickshaw is now inside of Mr. T’s temporary hideout, in his pimp disguise. Rickshaw has his pimp cane and his pimp coat, ready for anything. “WE HAVE AN INTRUDER!”
Looks like all the guards aren’t idiots. However, Rickshaw knows a secret martial arts technique for this kind of moment. “FUNERAL DIGGER TECHNIQUE ~ PIMP SLAP!”
A massive pimp slap connects to the guard! This knocks him out, along with every brain cell in his head. As the other guards come along, they spot Rickshaw, and ask him “Where’s the intruder!?”
Rickshaw picks up the guard, and says “Here he is!”
They take him for execution, the firing squad, with beanbag guns. Then, a high-rank looking employee comes up to Rickshaw and asks “Ah, you’re the new pimp we ordered. What’s your name, Mr. Pimp?”
He replies “I got no name.” to hide his identity.
Not a very good idea... Now he has become the “Nameless Pimp” However, Rickshaw needs to keep calm, and keep up his act. Talk of the Nameless Pimp spread through Area 51. Maybe this will help with getting closer to Mr. T. Rickshaw then encounters a pimp named Sally. He says in his very deep voice, “I am... Sally!”
Rickshaw is confused. Isn’t Sally a woman’s name? No matter, it’s probably just a technique to fool the enemy. Rickshaw is rushed by the pimp named Sally, and Rickshaw throws him into the sun with his Funeral Digger Technique ~ Pimp Slap. That was easy.
Rickshaw will be in constant attack if he remains in his pimp costume, mainly from other pimps and angry step-fathers. However, if Rickshaw were to go without the disguise, he will be in constant attack by guards and bike thieves. Rickshaw must continue on with his pimp suit on. He is attacked by another pimp! Rickshaw shoots him in the face with the BB gun. Another one down.
Just then, he almost gets hit by a car. It can’t be! Thought Rickshaw, Could it be...? Turbo Granny?! Yes, Turbo Granny, who’s goal to keep teen drivers off the road, by force. Rickshaw, who happens to be 50-years old, is confounded as to why Turbo Granny is targeting him. Then he realizes. The pimp outfit! There’s no such thing as a 50-year old pimp in Area 51! He throws off the Pimp Outfit, and just as the Turbo Granny was about to hit him, she quickly turns and drifts into the direction of the pimp suit. She hits it head on. As Turbo Granny is attacking the Pimp outfit, Rickshaw continues on to find Mr. T



And so, Rickshaw continues his search for Mr. T. Then, he enters a dark room, only a table tennis table is visible through a spot light. Mr. T is on the other side of the table tennis table, with paddle in hand, the Tide behind him. Rickshaw knows what to do. He must defeat Mr. T in a game of Bowling. Mr. T takes out his bowling ball, and throws it at Rickshaw, and it bounces off of Rickshaw’s invincible Rickshaw hat, marking the beginning of the battle. Mr. T returns the bowling ball with his table tennis paddle. Rickshaw parries the bowling ball using 10 bowling pins. Strike! It’s a clash of sports now, Table Tennis versus Bowling.
Mr. T then grabs the bowling ball in midair and sinks it in a basketball net. Rickshaw quickly takes the ball afterwards, before it hits the floor, and kicks it into the top corner of the net, the goalie just couldn’t keep up. Mr. T takes a badminton racket and smashes it downwards, towards Rickshaw, before it could hit the back of the net, and Rickshaw expertly returns the ball with a volley. Mr. T watches the ball carefully, and slap shots it with a hockey stick, but Rickshaw returns it with a clean shot with his baseball bat, using his Funeral Digger Technique ~ Grand Slam.
Before the bowling ball sailed into the crowd, Mr. T Intercepts it with a croquet mallet, and it sails back to the direction of Rickshaw. Rickshaw catches the ball with his lacrosse stick, and whips it in a curved fashion, to make it harder for Mr. T to return it. Mr. T catches the ball in midair and throws it to the wide receiver for a touchdown, but Rickshaw intercepts it with his tennis racket, and returns it to Mr T. Mr. T skilfully punches it back using a one-two combination punch.
Rickshaw eats another stick of butter, to become the size of a Sumo wrestler, and pushes it back to Mr. T, then puking like a super model to become his normal size again. Mr. T keeps the ball in the air with a flurry of jabs from his rapier, and it eventually launches the ball back to Rickshaw. Rickshaw dives off the diving board and gives the ball a downward kick, before doing ten flips and cutting into the water perfectly, without even making a tiny splash. The scores are as follows: 10, 10, 10, 10, duck. Mr. T almost couldn’t handle the speed the ball was headed towards him at. He takes a snowboard and flips towards the bowling ball and the board hits the bowling ball dead on, turning it into a pair of skis.
Rickshaw takes the ball and suplexes it, on Mr. T’s side of the table tennis table. Rickshaw has won the table tennis match. However, having been attacked by a surprise attack, Rickshaw forgot to make a wager for the Tide. Mr. T gets away again. However, after another failure to get the Tide back, Rickshaw never gives up. This is a prime example of a hero. He tries his best, so don’t yell at him.

CHAPTER 17: Another way forward
Having been unable to secure the Tide from Mr. T once more, The R-Team must find a way to defeat Mr. T, and get the Tide back. They considered doing another challenge for the Tide, but it would either end in a disaster, or Mr. T would find a loophole and escape with the Tide. They considered attacking him head on and taking it by force, but Mr. T grew aware of the Principality of Sealand’s power after the Beiber-bombing incident, and increased his Anti-Sealand defensive measures since that day. They considered stealing the Tide back, but Mr. T’s base is anti-theft fortified, ever since Doc Louis stole his bike when he was out stealing all the Tide. Things got really hard for the R-Team, and they need to find a way to get the Tide back, before the entire world has to resort to Purex laundry detergent, which Mr. T will steal as well when it does go to that. Hammy stands up; it appears that he has a plan.
“....”
Silence.
Then, Hammy finally speaks after a half-hour of silence. “Can you spare some money?”
Instant disappointment. And here the R-Team thought that Hammy was about to contribute instead of just begging for money. “Hammy, why don’t you just make some friends?” Rickshaw asks.
“No!” squealed Hammy “I just want money!”
What a greedy little hamster... Rickshaw comes up with a plan. They must go and attack from underground. So far, Mr. T only saw the Principality of Sealand transform into air vehicles. Mr. T doesn’t even know that it was once a submarine, or that it was even once a WWII base that became a country. So if the R-Team attacks Mr. T from down under, where his defences are the weakest, they can launch a surprise attack, and secure victory.

CHAPTER 18: Sealand Underground
So Rickshaw prepares to take Sealand, now a underground rover, to attack Mr. T. On the way to his base, The Principality of Sealand encounters a hidden civilization. It is the ancient tribe of mole warriors, who sought to defend their ancient heritage of... whatever moles do nowadays. Having been pulled over by the gatekeepers, Rickshaw must pay a toll in order to get past. Great, you just can’t escape these damn toll booths. Rickshaw pays the toll anyway without resistance, but little does he know, Hammy spent the rest of the money on kitten mittens, which explains the cat that appeared with the mittens a while back. When Rickshaw drove the Principality of Sealand Underground Mole Tank to the other end of the border, to exit the town and continue his attack on Mr. T, he realizes that he has run out of money. Everyone turns to Hammy. “Can you spare some money?” That’s all Hammy could say to that... What a disgraceful hamster...
Stuck in the Mole Warrior village, Rickshaw needs to find a way out. He can’t take his tank and drive it up the ceiling, because they reinforced it, so diggers won’t dig their way in and discover them, they cant go underground further, because that will take them to the centre of the earth, and possibly piss the mole warriors off, leading to unnecessary bloodshed. The last option is to earn the money, but Hammy will spend it all somehow, anyway. The R-Team is truly in a fix.
Then, they devise yet another genius plan. They find the leader of the Mole Warrior tribe, Tuk Tuk, and ask him for an alliance, so they can join forces and attack Mr. T as a team. “No.” The R-Team was instantly shot down. However, Hammy comes along, shooting his usual question. “Can you spare some money?”
Tuk tuk is intrigued. He has never seen a rodent with no money before. “Alright, here’s some money, from the Tribe’s reserve.”
Tuk Tuk gives Hammy 50,000 dollars, but Hammy spends it on troll food. Damn. Tuk Tuk is astounded in Hammy’s amazing(?) ability to spend a large sum of money in a short time.
Tuk Tuk has a proposal for the R-Team. If they infiltrate the enemy combat earthworm tribe, and turbo spend their money, to crash their economy, The mole warriors will form an alliance. The R-Team agrees with Tuk Tuk’s terms, and Hammy’s Marathon of Hope is relocated in the Combat Earthworm Tribe’s village.
Once they arrive at their village, Hammy goes around collecting money for his marathon of Hope, spending whatever he earns on some pointless knickknack. However, this is only improving their economy, Hammy needs to move a very large sum of money to harm it. So Hammy’s Marathon of Hope must be turbo charged. Hammy is trying to collect money from the richer folks now, but the greedy bastards don’t ever give out their money, especially to charities. Then, they find a mansion.
The mansion had golden everything, including the air around it. They were powders of gold floating around like bubbles. As Hammy approaches to beg for money in his usual manner, he starts choking on the golden powder in the air. The R-Team quickly look around, and find gas masks, they wear them before proceeding.
After Hammy stopped choking, he put on a gasmask and continued to the mansion. Then, as they ring the doorbell, a golden combat earthworm with a cane, monocle and top hat answers the door. “Can you spare some money?” Hammy asks.
“Hurmph, hurumph, I do indeed, young kidney stone. How much would you like?”
Hammy, unable to control his lust for money, yells out “ALL OF IT!”
...That hamster needs to learn some manners. However, the earthworm is a generous person, rather worm, but he needs something in return. “Okay, I will give you money if you go and defeat the Battle Toads.”
Ugh, another tribe of combat animals to meet, but the R-Team couldn’t help but wonder why any type of toad would live underground. This is nothing but a trivial issue, However, so they disregard the fact that the Battle Toads live underground, and they continue to hear the golden combat earthworm out. “The Battle Toads are a tribe of Toads that live underground, for years they have been annoying us with their loud polka music. Please put a stop to the polka music!”
That’s odd, because earlier he said to defeat them. Before they ask, he continues to explain. “How I want you to defeat them, is to defeat them in a heavy metal polka music contest!”
The mission is set, and the R-Team is now moving to the Battle Toad’s village as a heavy metal polka band called “Bob Marley and the Zombies”
So they arrive at a third ancient underground village, this time, inhabited by Battle Toads. “Bob Marley and the Zombies” continues to challenge the ones causing the noise that terrorises the Earthworms. The name of their band is called “Prostate Cancer.” No matter, they challenge them, with a challenge letter they had prepared before hand. However, they accidently take out the Challenge Letter that Mr. T shot at the R-Team in the dogfight. Now Prostate Cancer thinks that Mr. T is challenging them to a race. Prostate Cancer is a very rich band though, they use their money to buy a Super-charged motorbike, and set out for Singapore Speedway. Good. That should stop the polka music long enough for the payment.
The R-Team returns to the Combat Earthworm village, and the house with everything (including the air around it) made of gold. As the rich looking earthworm answers the door, he gives Hammy all of his money, and Hammy spends it on 20,000 Slinkies instantly, crashing the Combat Earthworm’s economy somehow. It didn’t matter how that worked, but it worked.

They return to the village of the Mole Warriors, but they couldn’t pay the toll to get in. It seems that the R-Team is in a fix again. Rickshaw has no choice. The R-Team must dig underground even further, and go under the mole village to continue. They begin to dig down. As the Principality of Sealand continues to get closer the centre of the Earth, the Heat-Blocking system(TM) begins to give in. They need to push on, and come back up as soon as possible.
After they finally reached the distance they needed to go, they began to dig up. It seems that Sealand is invincible, having survived being in the centre of the Earth. They keep digging, and digging... until finally, they surface. However, they reach a place unfamiliar to them all, instead of Mr. T’s base. There is snow, snow, and more snow! “Oh, no! We must have dug too far, We’re on the other side of the World!” Indeed they are. They are now in Canada. What’s worse, Canada is right in the middle of winter.

CHAPTER 19: Around the World in a few seconds
So they now are stuck in Canada, and they need to find a way to get back to Singapore. However, they were once in England. So they can fly back. Before they decide to go back, they need to stock up on supplies. They go to the nearest Tim Horton’s and buy a dozen doughnuts and coffees for everyone. They also buy a bottle of maple syrup and a few hockey sticks.
Having stocked up on Canadian merchandise, they go back underground, looking for the underground entrance of Mr. T’s base. After digging through the centre of the Earth again, they reach their next destination. However, they are still nowhere near Singapore, as they are now in Egypt. As it turns out, they arrived at a hidden ancient pyramid, which was never supposed to be found by outsiders. Having trespassed in a forbidden area, the R-Team needs to escape, and fast, before they are cursed.
Having pissed off a bunch of mummies the R-Team needs put up the defences of the Principality of Sealand. Using his mixed martial arts that he learned from clowns, Rickshaw fights off the mummies one by one, but Bromley just throws a grenade at them and blows them all up. That was easy. Now they have to find a way out of the pyramid. They don’t want to piss off any more mummies and get cursed, so they dug through the hole they came from.



They dig through the Earth once again, causing the accidental creation of a secret underground network, to arrive in yet another country. Unfortunately, they have mistaken the chick from “Precious” as the country they were aiming for. (‘Precious’ is a movie about a very VERY VEEERY overweight girl. I mean VERY OVERWEIGHT. She’s like... FREAKIN’ HUGE and UGH...! I mean seriously, I didn’t know you could be that HUGE. It’s.... disgusting... Like, Oh man I can’t unsee that disgusting creature... It’s more disgusting than... everything! I... I can’t even describe in WORDS on how TERRIFYING that thing looks... and what’s worse is... she’s, like, HUGE and UGLY and it’s just.... UGH!) Gross. Still thinking that they’re on a country, they try to dig through the ground, but the fat was so thick, the drill almost broke. They look around, and find some fried chicken and McDonalds. They then confirm that they have landed somehow on the chick from “Precious”. Unable to dig trough her fat, they need to fly away, so Sealand transforms into a jet to fly away, but the gravitational pull was too powerful, they just couldn’t escape. The R-Team is in the worst situation yet, even worse than Rickshaw going back in time, because this time, their movement is limited. The R-Team devised a plan. They need to somehow move the top, and tip her over so she rolls over and makes a hole in the ground, giving the R-Team an opening to escape from.
Slowly sloshing through the squishy, fat and greasy terrain, the R-Team slowly makes for the top of the creature. Unable to walk, they mount onto the Principality of Sealand, which transforms into the drill tank again. After 10 days of driving towards the top, they finally make it. Now they need to hit her hard on the back of the head, and tip her over to make a hole for the Principality of Sealand to escape.
Now they are on the back of the thing’s head, and prepare to strike with enough force to knock it over, and hopefully make an opening. Rickshaw remembers his Technique he learned when he was a pimp, so he tries to use it, with all his might, the pimp slap! BAM! The slap connected to the back of its head(?) and it begins to roll over. When it hits the ground, a huge shockwave emits, and destroyed anything in a 402578 mile radius (647886.489 Kilometres for you Metric fans, and I don’t mean the band...), and amidst the destruction, a huge hole opens up, and the Principality of Sealand flips into it. Success. The R-Team has conquered their hardest challenge yet.

CHAPTER 20: Bones of Steel
Now that the R-Team escaped that gigantic... thing... They need to find their way back into Singapore, and to attack Mr. T’s secret base. They travel through the centre of the Earth again, and they are attacked by Terminators. That’s odd, because Terminators weren’t invented yet. Maybe this is the secret underground storage room for prototypes of future technologies. They put up their defensive weapons, and fight off the Terminators. It appears that they actually have stumbled into a secret government storage closet. So this is where the tax-payer’s money is going...
After being able to defeat the Terminators, The R-Team was given time to take a look around the gigantic ‘closet’. There are technologies that nobody else has seen before. There are mostly military weapons, which the R-Team could take, to prevent it from going into the wrong hands. However, if they were to take the weapons, the government would know, and the country would be in chaos. However, The R-Team doesn’t really know what country this government closet belongs to, so they decide to take their chances, as well as the weapons. The remaining technologies they left behind in the closet were all non-military related, because that could hopefully improve the living quality of the country.
After clearing the closet of all things related to military weapons and technologies, and bringing all the Terminators out of the closet, they continue to travel underground, in search of Mr. T’s base. After leaving the underground once more, they look around to find out where they are. It’s very dark, as it turns out to be night time. They look up, and the moon looks like a slice of watermelon. The moon then notices that it being looked at, and it travels at them at a high velocity. It turns out, it wasn’t the moon, it was actually the ancient Greek god Zeus, which as it turns out, he is actually a watermelon.
Zeus asks Rickshaw, in a booming voice, “What brings you here?”
Then, unable to control his need for money, Hammy asks, “Can you spare some money?”
Hammy has been nothing but trouble recently… “WHAT?!? You stupid charity workers, How many times have I told you I don’t care about your campaign to stop the outbreak of Sacred Diaper Disease!”
Hammy has made Zeus mad, and now they must face the Greek God of thunder, who is a watermelon. “Prepare yourselves for battle!”
As Zeus prepares to strike the R-Team with extreme prejudice, Bromley eats him. Another battle won by the R-Team.
With Zeus defeated, a man approaches the R-Team. “My name… is Zxeeuke, I am here to avenge Zeus.”

The R-Team, distracted by the impossibly hard to pronounce name, is left off guard, Zxeeuke rushes at Rickshaw, and Rickshaw pulls out one of the weapons that he stole from the Government storage closet. This is it, time to see what this weapons does. He fires at Zxeeuke, and he is sent to the Gummi Zone, to be trapped for eternity. Woah, that’s deep.
Eating Zeus has given Bromley an odd effect on his body. Bromley’s bones have become steel. Bromley now must be used to having heavier bones. However, The Tide Lady has a solution. “Next, let’s wash the napkins!”
Unfortunately, there is no detergent besides the Tide capable of washing napkins, but later she explains on how her idea was to make Bromley eat a napkin. “Here, it will make your bones feel more lightweight.” she explains as she hands the napkin to Bromley.
Bromley eats the napkin, and all of a sudden his muscles bulge out, making him very muscular. However, He felt sick, so he later vomited out the napkin, and Zeus. Bromley has become his normal self again. What a waste of dialogue…
Zeus, having been set free, lets out a cry. “WOAAAAAAGH I’M FREE NOW!”
But then, distracted by the napkin, he eats it. Zeus couldn’t handle the napkin’s abilities to make one’s body muscular, and Zeus explodes. The explosion caused by Zeus was so powerful, he made a gigantic hole on the floor. The R-Team mount the Principality of Sealand drill tank, and continue digging in search of Mr. T.
The R-Team travel through the centre of the Earth once more, and they need a new plan instead of searching randomly for Mr. T. Normally they’d use their lock on system, but the last time they did that, they freed the world from sparkly vampires and puppy-dog werewolves, which was a good thing, However it didn’t help the R-Team make any progress in defeating Mr. T.
Meanwhile, life has gotten worse for Mr. T back at his base, as his Mohawk is beginning to turn into a mullet. “I pity da’ foo’ who did my hair!”
Mr .T researched modern hair styles. It turns out, Mohawks have an amazing power, but an afro possesses infinite power, able to control the universe, if one knows how to use the power. He went to get his hair set up to grow into an afro, However, the barber messed up, and Mr. T’s Mohawk is turning into a mullet very slowly. It is said if one possessed a mullet, a terrible curse will fall on them.

CHAPTER 21: A Very, VERY bad hair day.
Mr. T needs to fix his hair, and fast, before he is cursed with the curse of the Mullet. He tries to use some of the Tide as a hair gel, because it’s one of the main ingredients for the Mohawk Grenade, but that only made the process of Mullet-growing speed up. He tried rubbing Kitten Mittens on it, but it only made the Kitten Mittens grow a mullet. And so, he went to contact Poopsock, the witch doctor. Poopsock is known for his unconventional healing techniques. Even the oddest of odd which doctors find Poopsock a little weird.
Poopsock uses the skull of a biker-punk who was a disco fanatic and a poet by night, the excretions of a bull, the classic ingredient that is used in most potions, the eye of the newt, and the soul of a sole, to make a potion that bulges out an afro. When Mr. T drinks the potion, his mullet begins to grow faster. It turns out Poopsock has read the ingredients of the wrong potion, The potion for growing mullets. Mr. T pitied Poopsock for being a fool, but gives him a chance to fix it. Poopsock, shocked by his first failure, commences to cry in the corner. Mr. T must find something else to fix his hair, before he is cursed.
Mr. T found out that cheese makes bones strong, so he figured that hair could be helped too. Mr. T needs to find cheese to smother in his hair. He went to a cheese store, and asks for some cheese. The storeowner asks Mr. T, “What kind of cheese would you like, sir?”
Mr. T is dumbfounded by his new discovery. “There’s more than one kind of cheese?!”
As the store clerk was about to tell Mr. T about the wonders of cheese, a sumo wrestler breaks into the store, throwing dictionaries at the store clerk.
“Again?! Stop invading my store you Trader!” The clerk says while dodging his dictionaries.
Then, the sumo wrestler throws an electronic dictionary with a French accent, which hits Mr. T in the head. Since the dictionary had a French accent, the same effect applies to Mr. T’s hair that cheese would have done. The Hair begins to slowly grow back into a Mohawk. It’s slow, but it’s starting to go back to normal now. Nobody remembered what happened between the Sumo and the cheese store clerk, but they remember it like it had happened yesterday.
What had happened was that the Cheese Store clerk tried to sell authentic cheese from all over the world, but the Sumo wrestler was also a clerk for a store, which was right on the other side of the street from the cheese store. The store he owned was a pawn shop, selling miscellaneous objects. However, the people for some reason kept taking the cheese they bought to the pawn show to pawn them. The Sumo Wrestler was tired of getting cheese, (and the occasional sample of Chrons Disease) and wanted something interesting.

The Sumo went to the Cheese store and started to throw cheese at the clerk, yelling “Stop selling cheese to these idiots! I don’t want it in my pawn shop!”
Eventually realizing that cheese was ineffective as projectiles, he began to throw heavier objects at him. Then a man who looked like a hamburger-hotdog hybrid flew in the store and transformed into an outhouse. It took a year to remove the outhouse.
The Sumo and the Cheese Store clerk were still locked in an intense battle, but this is of no concern to Mr. T. He moves to find a quicker way to restore his hair. He went to prepare a flight to the ice caps, where it’s cold and unhealthy to Mullets, in hopes to kill the Mullet. But while packing his Mohawk Grenades, he realizes. The Grenades make people’s head look like Mr T’s. He takes the grenade and throws it at himself. His head transforms into Mr. T’s head. So his hair was successfully restored. Crisis Evaded.

CHAPTER 22: The 400 Hammys
The R-Team is still looking for Mr. T’s base, so they can strike it from underground. They can’t seem to find it, and end up in weird and unusual places. They try finding another location, but they find Sherlock Holmes instead. It turns out, he’s on a budget at the moment, and Watson was fired. All he has to use is poverty and an empty propane tank. He doesn’t have many things to investigate, and the propane tank is as empty as ever. The R-Team knows what he is going through, as Hammy is going through Poverty as well. The R-Team doesn’t have time to waste, they go back underground and move on to search for Mr. T’s base. They can’t even seem to land in Singapore.
After digging up once more, they find themselves in a realm in a universe across from Earth. How did they end up in a place like this? That doesn’t really matter at the moment. They seem to be inside a place familiar to Hammy. This is the place where Hammy was created. There were 400 of him made, in case one was to not make any money. They needed Hamsters (and other rodent type animals) to make money, so they could live a sustainable life, and research more money making strategies. However, this place is empty, meaning in this universe, No Hammys were created. After exploring the facility, they dig back into the hole they came from, and travelled around the world again.
This time, they find themselves in the facility where Hammy was created, but in their own universe. Then, the other 399 Hammys appear, and ask the R-Team “Can you spare us some money?”
It turns out that 400 Hammys may seem impressive, but the truth is that Hammy’s got no money. What they did have, However, are precious jewels passed down from generation to generation. Kind of like jewels of the family, which the 400 Hammys like to call them their “Family Jewels”. Then, A swordfish flies in and steals the family jewels. “Hey!” Squeals one of the Hammys. “Those happen to be OUR family jewels! Give us back our family jewels!”
The other 399 Hammys chase the swordfish for the family jewels, and the R-Team moves on with their mission. Before leaving, Hammy has an important question for the R-Team. But they already know the question, so they answered “No!” Before Hammy even asked.

CHAPTER 23: Fro Freedom
The R-Team dig through the Earth once more, prepared for anything. Before going upwards, they find defence systems, defending the space above. It seems that the R-Team has found Mr. T’s base. As they predicted, Mr. T’s defences are the weakest underground. As The Principality of Sealand crush Mr. T’s minimalistic defences, Mr. T is alerted of the attack. Mr. T, startled by the sudden attack, locks up the Tide in his emergency bomb shelter/closet. Mr. T makes his last minute preparation to face the R-Team. As he was getting ready, his hair suddenly transforms into an Afro. It seems the electronic dictionary had a good effect on his hair. Even though Mr. T now possesses great power, he still didn’t have the time to learn how to use it. The odds are in the R-Team’s favour this time. The R-Team sneaks its way into the backroom of the base, where Mr. T’s supply closet is. However, Mr. T isn’t there to engage them, because he already left the room to find them.
This mishap by Mr. T finally gives the R-Team a chance to capitalize on getting the Tide back, but Mr. T’s closet is locked up with Eyewash, which is the hardest thing to break through when applied to a door. Its like super glue, but 82539.001 times stronger! The R-Team needs something to smash through the eyewash, and the problem is that even the future technologies they stole from the government closet couldn’t even phase the eyewash. Mr. T really thought it through when deciding what material to lock up the Tide with.
The R-Team can’t give up now. After travelling the entire world to find the base, they can’t afford to have wasted all the effort they used to make it there. Then, Hammy stands. Hammy has a solution to break through the eyewash. “What if we use the Battle Rickshaw to break through?”
The R-Team for a second thought Hammy was just begging for money again, and missed what he said. “What? Could you say that again?” Asked Rickshaw.
“Can you spare some money?” Hammy said, as if he had said that the first time. And so, the solution to quickly get the Tide back slipped through their fingers.
Then, Mr. T bursts through the door. “Don’t gimme no back talk, foo’!” he yells as he throws is Mohawk Grenades at the R-Team.
Rickshaw, with his invincible Rickshaw hat, deflects the Mohawk grenades, which hit the closet. The closet turns into a weird version of Mr. T’s head. The Tide is still inside of the closet! As Mr. T was about to grab the Mr. T head and fly away with his jetpack, his head suddenly turns into the way it was before – With the mullet. Everyone gasps in horror, because the mullet does NOT suit Mr. T at all. It seems the effects of the Mohawk grenade have worn off.


As the mullet reveals its true form, so does the effect of the curse. Mr. T is now cursed. Every time he goes to the washroom, there will never be toilet paper available, forcing him to use either his hand, or even worse, any magazines he may find on the floor. This is the worst curse of them all! (Besides the curse of the Warm Rice Bowl, of course. That one really brings tingles down my spine…) Then, a giant jellyfish rips a hole in the wall, and yells “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
This must be the indication of Mr. T’s curse. Suddenly, Mr. T feels the urge to go the bathroom. After 10 minutes, Mr. T returns, he looks like he’s in pain too. “I pity da foo’ who don’t give me toilet paper.”
Mr. T may be an enemy, but Rickshaw is a kind-hearted person. “Here, I’ll get you some.”
He goes to the Principality of Sealand’s supply closet, to get Mr. T some toilet paper. However, since Mr. T is cursed, Rickshaw’s toilet paper supply disappeared. The curse is more powerful than anyone had ever anticipated. Having taken Rickshaw’s kindness to his advantage, Mr. T takes the closet and flies away with his jetpack, leaving a trail of ripped pages from “Teen Screech Magazine”. Mr. T has gotten away once more.

CHAPTER 24: Home Depot of the dead
Now the R-Team is left without the Tide once more. They need a new plan to get it back, now that it’s sealed inside Mr. T’s storage closet, which is now a weird version of Mr. T’s head. They decided to use an approach that would mark them as insane. They will skydive onto Mr. T’s location, land on Mr. T, and secure the Tide. But first they need to get the equipment they need for the assault...
Mr. T also has his own problem. As safe as the Tide is inside of the head-Closet, Mr. T needs to get it out to use it for his plan. Mr. T goes to a local police station, to borrow the Jaws of Life from them. However, Mr. T had forgotten that he is a wanted man, with a bounty of over nine million Pesos. It seems that Singapore decided to use Pesos as their currency now, because the economy suddenly shifted and the value of a Peso shot right up. When he went to the police station, he was instantly met with Singapore’s Special Operation Forces.
Mr. T needed to steal the Jaws of Life from them. Mr. T runs into the police station, while being shot at by the Special Operation Forces. The bullets bounce off of him and his bling, while he dashes for the Jaws of Life. The People inside of the station find Mr. T, riding in the station at full speed on a motorbike, bullets bouncing off of him, juggling fruits, dialing random buttons on a cellphone, and polishing a remote control for a television with a combat knife, all this while balancing one of the 400 Hammys on his head, asking “Can you spare some money?”.
Mr. T was suddenly is inside of a Home Depot store, riding past people telling racist jokes, people who have been on hold for a phone contest for a week, and priests hiding in refrigerators. Then, he finds Elvis. Mr. T is astounded in finding the real Elvis. However, Elvis transforms into a waffle with a jetpack strapped to it. “Tell No one.” Says Elvis, as he flies into the distance.
Mr. T continues his dash for the Jaws of Life, he finds Billy Mays. “Didn’t you turn into a giant Oxy-clean bottle?”
Billy Mays had tamed the uncontrollable power of his, and he can keep it at bay, so it doesn’t take the better of him again. Not really caring about the curse that fell upon Billy Mays, Mr. T moves on. Then, he meets Michael Jackson, building a model airplane. As it turns out that this was what he does in his spare time. Mr. T knew all along. He has proven the rumours about Michael Jackson wrong. He is still being chased by the Special Operation Forces of Singapore, so Mr. T doesn’t have the time to chat.


Then, he runs into another deceased celebrity. He runs into James Braddok. Having played a boxer in a movie, Mr. T knows of how James Braddok’s life has been. Wanting to stop and talk with him, James tries to punch Mr. T in the face. Mr. T ducks, and the Hammy gets punched instead. It flies and hits the all, making a loud squeaking noise as it makes contact. However, the Hammy is still alive, fuelled by his determination for money.
Mr. T then finds himself meeting Gary Coleman. Frustrated in finding deceased celebrities and not the exit to this Home Depot, Mr. T asks “Do you know where the exit is?”.
All Mr. T got as a response is “Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout?” It seems that Gary Coleman has the same problem as Mr. T.
Mr. T needs to find the Jaws of Life fast, and while being trapped in the Home Depot of the Dead, and still afflicted with the curse of the mullet, He needs them fast. Still pursued by The Special Operation Forces of Singapore, Mr. T is finding trouble thinking. Then, as timing has it, Mr. T has the urge to go the washroom, and really badly too. Mr. T is in a terrible situation right now…