The adventures of Giselle Darken (Fanfiction)

Chapter 1 "The Dream"

I am a half-blood, that's mean, the daughter of a God and a mortal. At first I did not know, but I always felt. I live in CHB, the only safe place for people like me. Getting there was not easy, and if you're reading this, is because you want to know why. It all started two days before my birthday 13 and, as every year, it was far from excited at all. I always knew I was different, there was something wrong in me, as when the other kids playing in the Sun, I could see from the Shadow, so the idea of ​​holding an event to commemorate another year of rejection not excited me much. I knew the party would be a disaster, but what I did not know was that he would not be there to see. Two days before my birthday, I had a strange dream.

I dreamed I was in a beautiful place with strawberry fields, cabins, an arena of struggle, a forest and a beach. But as always, I felt did not fit there, only this time, the feeling was less. I loved that place, was I ever wanted, but was short, for the scene change. Now he was in a forest and a rider came behind me, but when I had a few feet, I realize, where should be the horse's head, had a torso, head and human arms. And I realized something else, he was not chasing me, he was chasing another creature. It was like a dog, but the size of a military tank. The horse-man followed him, but when he was going to shoot the creature, this is got into the shadows and reappear next to me. He looked at me a moment and growled, lunged and tried to bite me, but an arrow struck his neck. The strangest thing was that instead of dying, became dust.

The horse-man approached me and said:
"I killed the first, but many more are in place. Your mother can not speak directly now, but will send someone to take you somewhere safe. "

But that made no sense:
1) I never met my mother
2) I do not think that would come after 12 years and tell me:
"Hey daughter, I regret not having seen or spoken throughout your life, but go to that place and goodbye"
3) Even if true, would not do, was upset with she.

I wanted to try to answer him, but he was, and immediately woke up. It was a beautiful day, blue sky, birds singing, the smell of bacon and toast (my favorite breakfast), it was impossible that something bad might happen in a day as nice as that, but in the distance there was a huge roar as if a million holes taladraran the floor at the same time. Then I remembered the creature of my dream, and then I decided to go to the place of my dreams, face the dangers that I submit, fight monsters to come, find that person to help me, and at that time, all started.

So guys? What do you think? It's amazing or what? Please comment, you are totally free to post your comments :D

I apologize for not reading it the first time, because it wasn't exactly properly formatted. Due to it being late at night, I felt in no mood in reading a large block of text but I am glad you looked in that.


Your first chapter, I don't know if it were intentional or not, sounds more like an bibliography. Which is not neccessarily a bad thing since this may as well be a prologue than the actual first chapter (Well, at least that was what I was getting at, after reading the first part).

GiselleDarkMoon wrote: Getting there was not easy, and if you're reading this, is because you want to know why.

Although, we all obviously have read the Percy Jackson Series, this is after all still your personal story/fanfiction. You should still try to explain/retell what you mean by what you say, in case your readers are actually thinking of alternating theories to your meaning but not quite exactly the same.

However, the overall rating is still rather tough to decide as I cannot truly judge a story by reading only the first chapter. But regardless of some minor grammar mistakes and some tense issues (though, I am not one to talk since I barely ever write in any tense but past-tense), if I were your school teacher, I would give you an A to start.

check my first chapter its called dark revenge