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by BlackJack123 8/23/2012, 10:41 pmThis is the first chapter and tips,ideas,or feedback would be awesome! Thanks for reading!!
Chapter 1:
I run through the forest wincing in pain with each aching step. I trip over a tree root and get my leg caught I try to pry my leg out but end up cutting myself deeply instead. Once I finally get my leg out I lift my hand and faint in sight of all the blood. I start to dream of back home the prison that was my country the way my mother would whisper me that I would be free someday but little did I know she meant only me. I woke up to the sound of snapping twigs and looked around still a little groggy I saw a lynx. No. A bobcat. It didn’t matter to me it was fresh meat. I grabbed my dagger with my name pressed in it, Rachel the thought of my name made me realize even more I was alone. I got into a squatting position wincing in pain as my wound bent. I pounced on the cat landing on its back with a thud. I wrestled around for moment until it was on top of me. I cut its paw but it scratched me with its free one. I got my dagger in a perfect position and punched the side of its head as it moved its head I got a great aim at the heart. I quickly moved forward stabbing in the middle of its heart I leaned up against the tree trying to catch my breath. I shuddered as I watched it fall over cold and dead with a lifeless look. I started skinning the dead animal revealing the juicy and tender meat underneath. I cut out the non-edible parts and throw them in a little leaf pouch to save for later for a trap. I take the edible parts and put them on a stick and make a fire with one of my four matches. I roast the meat until I think its good enough I take the meat off the stick. I eat a little meat and wrap the rest in leaves and put them in my bag. I rest on a boulder and go through my supplies three matches, an empty water bottle, a small bottle of iodine, and the leftover meat and pelt. I put all my stuff away and start my search to find water. After a few hours my legs start to shake from lack of energy and my mouth feels like sand paper from no water. I give up hope and lean up against a tree after about ten minutes I hear a rushing sound. A river! I walk east the way the sound came from. I kneel next to the bank filling my water bottle and putting a little bit of iodine. I scoop the water in my hands and splash it on my arm feeling the coolness tingle my body. I strip myself of my clothes and wade into the water and tip my head back rinsing the blood and dirt from my jet black hair. I tip my head back up and scrub the muck off my olive skin making a face at the blood. I float on my back and close my eyes at peace with the world for a few seconds until I hear the muffled voices of a boy and girl only a few feet away from where I was.
Chapter 1:
I run through the forest wincing in pain with each aching step. I trip over a tree root and get my leg caught I try to pry my leg out but end up cutting myself deeply instead. Once I finally get my leg out I lift my hand and faint in sight of all the blood. I start to dream of back home the prison that was my country the way my mother would whisper me that I would be free someday but little did I know she meant only me. I woke up to the sound of snapping twigs and looked around still a little groggy I saw a lynx. No. A bobcat. It didn’t matter to me it was fresh meat. I grabbed my dagger with my name pressed in it, Rachel the thought of my name made me realize even more I was alone. I got into a squatting position wincing in pain as my wound bent. I pounced on the cat landing on its back with a thud. I wrestled around for moment until it was on top of me. I cut its paw but it scratched me with its free one. I got my dagger in a perfect position and punched the side of its head as it moved its head I got a great aim at the heart. I quickly moved forward stabbing in the middle of its heart I leaned up against the tree trying to catch my breath. I shuddered as I watched it fall over cold and dead with a lifeless look. I started skinning the dead animal revealing the juicy and tender meat underneath. I cut out the non-edible parts and throw them in a little leaf pouch to save for later for a trap. I take the edible parts and put them on a stick and make a fire with one of my four matches. I roast the meat until I think its good enough I take the meat off the stick. I eat a little meat and wrap the rest in leaves and put them in my bag. I rest on a boulder and go through my supplies three matches, an empty water bottle, a small bottle of iodine, and the leftover meat and pelt. I put all my stuff away and start my search to find water. After a few hours my legs start to shake from lack of energy and my mouth feels like sand paper from no water. I give up hope and lean up against a tree after about ten minutes I hear a rushing sound. A river! I walk east the way the sound came from. I kneel next to the bank filling my water bottle and putting a little bit of iodine. I scoop the water in my hands and splash it on my arm feeling the coolness tingle my body. I strip myself of my clothes and wade into the water and tip my head back rinsing the blood and dirt from my jet black hair. I tip my head back up and scrub the muck off my olive skin making a face at the blood. I float on my back and close my eyes at peace with the world for a few seconds until I hear the muffled voices of a boy and girl only a few feet away from where I was.
Last edited by BlackJack123 on 8/24/2012, 11:15 pm; edited 2 times in total
