(Hello fellow members and staff. This is a one shot I have done with my character Dominika Orlov for various reasons. Mostly for my muse in writing for her, and also to dig deeper into her thoughts and emotions. Keep in mind this was written at 2-3:30 am so it's not going to be completely grammar free. Enjoy.)
Same Old Empty Feeling
The demigod breathed in deeply and slowly exhaled seeing the breath before her as she sat on the ice cold bench. She was nervous, because she hadn’t done this since the incident where more than half her leg had been a chicken wing for a very pissed off monster. The events of that night still stuck clearly in her mind. The moment she slipped down in the rain, and the beast came up with its predator like teeth, snatching up its prey. Which just so happened to be her. Grabbed by the leg, she remembered the pulling sensation and being dragged across the dampen forest floor. Tree roots that stuck out bruised her and loose branches on the ground had cut her. Nothing measured up to the pain, of feeling your muscles being ripped apart and your ligaments being torn out. The teeth piercing her skin, and all the blood. There had been just so much of it. That night she thought for sure she was going to die. She managed to outwit the beast for just a little bit to get away before she ceased to be nothing more than bones left over.
It was a nightmare that was stuck on replay. Anytime she closed her eyes, it was there. Anytime she tried to fall asleep it was there. Anytime she thought it was a good dream the beast would show up again. It was so difficult to even sleep. Dominika was almost certain that she could beat an insomniac with how little sleep they get. Most would think that with more time, it’d pass and eventually fade, but it didn’t. Each night, each waking moment it was there with her. If she forgot about it, well she’d slowly be reminded any minute she looked down and saw her leg was no more. When she can’t use her leg how she used to, she remembers it. It was something that would never go away.
Today, she was reminded of the incident, yet again. Today was the day she was going to try and put those old skates on again. She told Dimitri that she would teach him how to skate, if he taught her how to ride a horse. The daughter of Jupiter was finally ready to try once, to see if she could do it and overcome the burden that is her leg. Dominika exhaled yet again and untied her skates and placed her left foot in the skate. She began to tighten up the laces and brought them together to tie them and make a nice secure support. Then she grabbed the skate for her right foot. It took a bit longer to get her foot properly in her skate, as she couldn’t feel it. It was a prosthetic after all. Better than the average mortal prosthetic though. She could control more joints and have more natural human movement. It definitely made things a bit better than the alternative of something just there to keep her balance.
It did take a while to work up to a different prosthetic though. Lots of exercises and practice with the other ones to get a feel. There would never be anything to replace what it was like to have your actual leg again, but this prosthetic that she’s had for a couple months now, was the closest she was going to get with it.
The other skate was finally on properly and she walked over to the ice rink. Taking off the blade guard she stepped her left leg out onto the ice while she took the other blade guard off. Holding onto the side of the rink she set down the green blade guards on the edge. Looking down her left leg was sturdy and held herself nicely. Her right leg was a bit shaky, but it wasn’t something that she couldn’t work off. Taking a deep breath in again she slowly inched forward on the ice, trying to get a feeling for it again. You would have never thought that once before she had done competitions and won some medals and trophies. Now she was in a rehabilitation state. It was tedious, but it was better than sitting down all day waiting for things to get better, when they were obviously going to take some time.
After a couple minutes passing, Dominika felt confident in herself that she could skate in a straight line. It took a bit, but she managed to push herself off with her dominant leg and she tried putting a bit of pressure on the other one. It was working at first, and a rush of joy overcame the Roman. She was ecstatic at the sight of her finally being able to skate again. This was such an amazement to her that she almost started to cry, but before she could, her right leg gave out on her and she fell hard onto the ice. She couldn’t feel the pain in her right leg, but the rest of her right side seemed to be bruised. The sting hurt a bit and at this point she could only feel the cold ice.
The daughter of Jupiter sighed and attempted to get back up. It wasn’t really working out the way she had wanted it to. No matter what she tried she couldn’t get back up. She refused the help of others around her and would tell them to go away. She would even shout at them. “I need to be able to do this myself, or I’ll never be able to!” She said in a spiteful tone, to another one of the people around. They left her alone.
It was when she was close to getting up that last time that she slipped, and landed on her stomach. In the motion that she slipped and what seemed to be slow motion before she hit the ground, triggered that night on the hill. Tears welled up in her eyes and her imagination flickered between what was reality and what was that night. Terror struck in her heart, and as she collapsed down on the ground she could feel the sharp pain of what should have been her leg being grabbed, and the demigod let out a shrieking scream. The tears welled up again and flooded over. “No no no!” She yelled as she was reliving the whole nightmare again.
It was a bright light that had been shined in her face, which snapped her back to what was reality. At this point Nika was hyperventilating and her eyes were wide. She saw all the people looking at her, and she was even more embarrassed. In front of her was a medic who was trying to help her. They tried to ask for her permission to pick her up, and she kept shaking her head. Tears just kept continuing to fall down and her breath continued at the rapid pace. She was shaking and couldn’t stop. None of it could stop. At that moment she was asked to take her skates off. The demigod tried, but her fingers were too shaky and she felt too weak to do it.
Her only saving grace was when Heath came in to check on her. To see the progress she made in trying to skate. He managed to convince the medics that he could pick her up and take her to the ambulance. That was when he took the skates off of her feet and he lifted her up from there. There were only two people in this entire world that were allowed to pick her up. That was Dimitri and Heath. Preferably she would prefer the former, as they had been through a lot together, and she trusted him the most, but Heath was there for the time being.
After a couple hours, Heath convinced the professionals that he could just take her home and have her rest. It was a rough day, and there would be days like this, but she knew she’d get through them. Eventually she’d learn to trust a bit easier, but today wasn’t that day. Stepping stones and moving forward slowly would be the case for her. Dominika hated feeling so powerless, but she did feel a bit of freedom for the first time in a while. The daughter of Jupiter felt truly happy and she felt at ease and okay with her situation for once. It didn’t happen often, but that rare moment was enough to hold onto.
Same Old Empty Feeling
The demigod breathed in deeply and slowly exhaled seeing the breath before her as she sat on the ice cold bench. She was nervous, because she hadn’t done this since the incident where more than half her leg had been a chicken wing for a very pissed off monster. The events of that night still stuck clearly in her mind. The moment she slipped down in the rain, and the beast came up with its predator like teeth, snatching up its prey. Which just so happened to be her. Grabbed by the leg, she remembered the pulling sensation and being dragged across the dampen forest floor. Tree roots that stuck out bruised her and loose branches on the ground had cut her. Nothing measured up to the pain, of feeling your muscles being ripped apart and your ligaments being torn out. The teeth piercing her skin, and all the blood. There had been just so much of it. That night she thought for sure she was going to die. She managed to outwit the beast for just a little bit to get away before she ceased to be nothing more than bones left over.
It was a nightmare that was stuck on replay. Anytime she closed her eyes, it was there. Anytime she tried to fall asleep it was there. Anytime she thought it was a good dream the beast would show up again. It was so difficult to even sleep. Dominika was almost certain that she could beat an insomniac with how little sleep they get. Most would think that with more time, it’d pass and eventually fade, but it didn’t. Each night, each waking moment it was there with her. If she forgot about it, well she’d slowly be reminded any minute she looked down and saw her leg was no more. When she can’t use her leg how she used to, she remembers it. It was something that would never go away.
Today, she was reminded of the incident, yet again. Today was the day she was going to try and put those old skates on again. She told Dimitri that she would teach him how to skate, if he taught her how to ride a horse. The daughter of Jupiter was finally ready to try once, to see if she could do it and overcome the burden that is her leg. Dominika exhaled yet again and untied her skates and placed her left foot in the skate. She began to tighten up the laces and brought them together to tie them and make a nice secure support. Then she grabbed the skate for her right foot. It took a bit longer to get her foot properly in her skate, as she couldn’t feel it. It was a prosthetic after all. Better than the average mortal prosthetic though. She could control more joints and have more natural human movement. It definitely made things a bit better than the alternative of something just there to keep her balance.
It did take a while to work up to a different prosthetic though. Lots of exercises and practice with the other ones to get a feel. There would never be anything to replace what it was like to have your actual leg again, but this prosthetic that she’s had for a couple months now, was the closest she was going to get with it.
The other skate was finally on properly and she walked over to the ice rink. Taking off the blade guard she stepped her left leg out onto the ice while she took the other blade guard off. Holding onto the side of the rink she set down the green blade guards on the edge. Looking down her left leg was sturdy and held herself nicely. Her right leg was a bit shaky, but it wasn’t something that she couldn’t work off. Taking a deep breath in again she slowly inched forward on the ice, trying to get a feeling for it again. You would have never thought that once before she had done competitions and won some medals and trophies. Now she was in a rehabilitation state. It was tedious, but it was better than sitting down all day waiting for things to get better, when they were obviously going to take some time.
After a couple minutes passing, Dominika felt confident in herself that she could skate in a straight line. It took a bit, but she managed to push herself off with her dominant leg and she tried putting a bit of pressure on the other one. It was working at first, and a rush of joy overcame the Roman. She was ecstatic at the sight of her finally being able to skate again. This was such an amazement to her that she almost started to cry, but before she could, her right leg gave out on her and she fell hard onto the ice. She couldn’t feel the pain in her right leg, but the rest of her right side seemed to be bruised. The sting hurt a bit and at this point she could only feel the cold ice.
The daughter of Jupiter sighed and attempted to get back up. It wasn’t really working out the way she had wanted it to. No matter what she tried she couldn’t get back up. She refused the help of others around her and would tell them to go away. She would even shout at them. “I need to be able to do this myself, or I’ll never be able to!” She said in a spiteful tone, to another one of the people around. They left her alone.
It was when she was close to getting up that last time that she slipped, and landed on her stomach. In the motion that she slipped and what seemed to be slow motion before she hit the ground, triggered that night on the hill. Tears welled up in her eyes and her imagination flickered between what was reality and what was that night. Terror struck in her heart, and as she collapsed down on the ground she could feel the sharp pain of what should have been her leg being grabbed, and the demigod let out a shrieking scream. The tears welled up again and flooded over. “No no no!” She yelled as she was reliving the whole nightmare again.
It was a bright light that had been shined in her face, which snapped her back to what was reality. At this point Nika was hyperventilating and her eyes were wide. She saw all the people looking at her, and she was even more embarrassed. In front of her was a medic who was trying to help her. They tried to ask for her permission to pick her up, and she kept shaking her head. Tears just kept continuing to fall down and her breath continued at the rapid pace. She was shaking and couldn’t stop. None of it could stop. At that moment she was asked to take her skates off. The demigod tried, but her fingers were too shaky and she felt too weak to do it.
Her only saving grace was when Heath came in to check on her. To see the progress she made in trying to skate. He managed to convince the medics that he could pick her up and take her to the ambulance. That was when he took the skates off of her feet and he lifted her up from there. There were only two people in this entire world that were allowed to pick her up. That was Dimitri and Heath. Preferably she would prefer the former, as they had been through a lot together, and she trusted him the most, but Heath was there for the time being.
After a couple hours, Heath convinced the professionals that he could just take her home and have her rest. It was a rough day, and there would be days like this, but she knew she’d get through them. Eventually she’d learn to trust a bit easier, but today wasn’t that day. Stepping stones and moving forward slowly would be the case for her. Dominika hated feeling so powerless, but she did feel a bit of freedom for the first time in a while. The daughter of Jupiter felt truly happy and she felt at ease and okay with her situation for once. It didn’t happen often, but that rare moment was enough to hold onto.