My fantasy life

hey... this is my novel im writing since i was 9. enjoy the story.
PROLOUGE~

well im going to introduce myself. my name is Caitlin. no, i dont have a last name, so dont ask. or parents for that matter... i was never told how i was born. my keeper, the Hokage (cheif of my village), told me only this: when i arrived, i was on his doorstep. he took me to the hospital to try to find my family. they didnt find anything... but the stupid Uchihas. nobody claimed me there, of course.
the main reason we hate each other so much is because when i was born, i bared the eyes of the Sharingan. thats the Uchihas main bloodline power, and they think i 'stole' it from them. yeah, right, like a newborn goes around stealing eye balls at night.
but its strange how i learned to fight and stuff when i was only a couple months old. i found it funny because its like a you got a toddler going around and kicking everybodys butt.
since i was the youngest to join the Ninja Academy (yeah i was a ninja back then), i got to go on missions. but unfortunately, i was sent on pretty boring missions like fetching a lost cat or something. because of that, i had to train and practice my jutsus (sorry powers for you regular people). could a three and twelve year old be best friends? sadly, it was a no.

CHAPTER ONE!

"LEAVE ME THE HECK ALONE!!!" I screamed. itachi was hunting me down for the kill. i dashed behind a tree and tried to think of a plan. but to bad i sneezed and gave myself away.
"Hah!! i told you i'd find you!!" itachi cackled. (and hes the one who told me NOT to say that)
i screamed again and ran. itachi was hot on my heels. he dove and tackled me. suddenly, my Sharingan awakened for the scond time in my short life. i used its power and used a move itachi taught me. it was called the Phoenix Flower Jutsu. itachi had a hard time staying on his feet. he gave me a place to strike. i grabbed a
kunai and stabbed him.

~
too stunned for words, i ran all the way home.
"Grandpa 3rd!!" i cried when i reached home.
"Caitlin! i thought your life has been taken also!" the Hokage said surprised.
"What?!"
then the Hokage told me itachi killed the Uchiha clan. except for one.
"His name is Sasuke." he told me. "I want you to see no harm comes to him."
"WHAT?!" i shouted. i couldnt believe it, so i ran out.

"Alright, im ready to go." i said to myself. i was gonna run away. No in hecks way was i gonna become a baby sitter for a stupid Uchiha! out of no where, a vortex came. i looked around to see nobody was around. not knowing where it would take me, i walked into it.

~
when i came out, i saw i landed on a island. it was very green and full of life. i noticed some kids my age playing by the water. quickly, i dove into a bush. i didnt want to get seen. i stayed there until they left, which was pretty much the whole day. evening came, and they dissapeared. i figured they left or something. i got up and walked around. i was sick of cookies so i ate some bananas (which where hard to get). i explored the island and came across a hidden cave.
of course i walked into it, just because im curious like that. inside was filled with hand-drawn drawings. it was amazing. in the corner though was a small creepy door.
"Who're you?" a voice behind me said.
"AHH!" i screamed pulling out a kunai. "S-stay back!"
ignoring that, he grabbed my wrist and dragged me outside.

"Hey Kairi! Riku! look what i found!" the boy shouted.
"Who's this? and why does she have a knife?!" i guess Kairi said. the other boy whom im guessing is Riku grabbed my kunai and studied it.
"i dunnno. i foound her like that." Sora said.
"Oh. well anyways, im Kairi. thats Sora and Riku." she said pointing.
"im Caitlin," i said in a small voice.
"ok," Riku said. he handed back the kunai. "nice knife."
"Thanks," i said.
"Hey we were gonna go have a relay race, wanna come?" Kairi asked.
"Yeah we need somebody on Kairis team." Sora said.
i nodded and smiled. "Um ok,"
"Kay," Riku said and started to walk off. "Lets go."
i grinned and followed them. this was off to a good start .

Grammar needs help... Lots of it.

And.... Well, I assume this is a Naruto fanfic.... Sharingan eyes and grand-daughter of the 3rd Hokage. Sounds like a Mary-Sue.

ikr i was bored. (wait im NOT the grand daughter that spots taken)

It's cool.I like Naruto

That's cool. My favorite line is, 'they think i 'stole' it from them. yeah, right, like a newborn goes around stealing eye balls at night.' *chortle* that one made me lol, and that doesn't happen often. Keep up the good work. Kendall is right, grammar does need some help, but hey, grammar is fixable.

YAY!!!Kingdom Hearts!!!!!!!!!!

It's pretty good.

Everyone just says "grammar" but I'm gonna go into some detail.

You need to use the nifty little shift button. (I other words, capitalize the first word in sentences and proper nouns.) You also need to fix some spelling errors. (Spell check is soooo useful.)

A lot of your sentences are really short. Example:
i screamed again and ran. itachi was hot on my heels. he dove and tackled me. suddenly, my Sharingan awakened for the scond time in my short life. i used its power and used a move itachi taught me. it was called the Phoenix Flower Jutsu. itachi had a hard time staying on his feet. he gave me a place to strike. i grabbed a
kunai and stabbed him.
I screamed again and ran. Itachi was hot on my heels and he dove to tackle me. Suddenly, my Sharingan awakened for the scond time in my short life. I used its power and a move Itachi taught me. it was called the Phoenix Flower Jutsu. {describe it?} itachi had a hard time staying on his feet, which gave me a place to strike. i grabbed a kunai and stabbed him.

Another thing that isn't really clear is the main character's age. You state it at the beginning, but it kinda seemed like she aged. You need to make it super clear that she's only three. She seems waaay too mature. Yeah maybe she has some extreme skill, but she should still act like she's three. She's acting more like a teen. Does she want her super skills? Or does she just want to be normal? Ask those questions to yourself.

OOO ok Elleon. thats for pointing that out. i didnt notice that she wasnt acting like that, but shes telling the story when shes older...

CHAPTER 2!
I wish i could lie to you guys, and say my life turned out wonderful and great after i met Sora and them, but it didn't. So, 3 years past while I was on the islands, making me seven. Those where the good old days, being carefree and all. And having fun adventures all the time. Well anyways, here it goes.

Alright, I overheard Sora, Kairi, and Riku talking about 'other worlds' and such. I always hated it when they spoke of this, which meant hating every conversation i was in. Of course, its because I was from a different world. ("No, Sora! Its Konaha, not Kohaha!") And thus, I'm asked a million questions. Take this, for example, since this was the last time i spoke to my friends:

"Oh! I know! Lets ask Caitlin!" Sora suggested. "I mean, she just popped outta no where!"
(Its funny because i was drinking water at that time, so I spewed it ALL over Riku, who gave me the Evil Eye.)

"Huh? I dunno what your talking about." i lied. "I forgot where that was.."

Riku scolded (I dunno if that was about the water or me lying.). "You always say that. Its getting old, Caitlin. I'm starting to think your lying."

"Are you?" Kairi asked curiously.
"Pssh! No! Pssh! Pssh!" i said, over-doing the 'pssh' thing.
"Yeah you are."
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Hey!!" Riku shouted. We all turned to face him. I had a nervous look on my face, and I knew trouble was coming. "Look, we don't like liars, ok?"

There was probably steam coming out of my head, because I was horribly mad. "You don't get it!" I shouted, and ran away from them.

~
I was sitting at the mini dock Riku and Sora built, trying to clear my thoughts. i hugged my knees staring at the clear water. why can't things go back to the way they where? i thought. All random about it, a dark hole began to suck me in. i screamed, "SORA! KAIRI! RIKUU!"

Kairi was the first to come running, with Sora and Riku following along slowly. When they saw the situation, they ran faster than when i usually say, "Hey look! Kairi's bathing suit is loose!".

Kairi and Sora ran to me and started to pull me out, but Riku stayed where he was. Kairi had to snap her fingers in his face to bring him back to reality. He blinked uncertain, but tried to haul me up also.

I felt tears sliding down my cheeks because their grip slipped. Before I blacked out slowly in the dark (Which I'm deeply afraid of. who knows when a monster could come out and try to eat your ice cream!), I could of sworn Riku was grinning.

~
When i finally woke up, I was on a platform in the middle of no where. I'm serious, when you look over, all you see is black. I looked around, completely scared. Out of nowhere, a little box thing came up.

"To start message, press the green button. To send the message, press the orange button."
I stared at it, but decided to send a message. "Kairi! Sora! Riku! Please come get me! I'm scared and dont know what to do! Help me!" I wailed. Without pressing the 'Send' button, the box disappeared. The ground shook behind me. I turned to face a 50-foot black monster staring down at me, waiting for a kill.

I stood up, shaking with a lot of fear, and gripped a sword. Wait- how'd that get there..? And who gives a seven-year-old a real sword?! I didn't have time to figure it out, because I was frozen in fear of what was about to happen in a few seconds.

I love it.

i know you would considering Cloud in your avatar. XD

YOU KNOW CLOUD!!!!!!!!!!

he was in Kingdom Hearts!

Oh ya!!He's in Final Fantasy 7

i know. i thought he was in all the Final Fantasies... i dunno i got this off my cuzin

He's in a few.

Cloud isn't; he's only in FF7 and its spin-offs. His female look-alike is in FFXIII, though. xD

XD he was in Kingdom Hearts for a little while.

Yeah, he is.

yeah!

i like Zack in crisis core.Hes my charrie

LOL wow XD

'kay, let's stop this discussion....

agreed

Here's some more food for thought:

What were they asking about? Your conversation in the beginning of chapter 2 is confusing. Try to explain other things a bit more too, like the darkness thing.

The story is developing into something cool so keep going on it!

kk thanks Elleon.
CHAPTER 3!

I was screaming like heck when the darkness monster thing was coming toward me. I was waving the sword (that came from no where) to try to scare it away. Its red, beady eyes kept following my moves. Its crept closer, inch by inch, and when it was close enough, it swiped at me with a wave of its hand. I ducked, with the hand passing over my head harmlessly. A big shadow started to loom over me, and when I looked up, I saw a huge foot about to crush me. I screamed again, just for the fun of it, and stabbed it upwards. The monster cried out in pain, falling backwards. Most of the monster turned into dust, and was blown away. The rest of it that remained went inside? of me. The wind blew hard, knocking me over the edge, and falling into nothing.

~

I awoke with the sun shining in my eyes. I sat up and held my head.
"Uhh..." I moaned. what just happened? I looked around and studied my surroundings. Apparently, I was on a island, again. This wasn't the old one, though, because this one had mountains.
"I think shes awake..." a voice behind me said. I jumped away, screaming again. The boy that was behind me had elfish features, green clothes, and a huge smile. (I think he had pleasure scaring the heck out of me.) And.. he was flying...