Ash neveren( his life as a five year old and up to thirteen)

Ash sat there looking out the window as his mother yelled at him she was mad that he had no good grades and never tried to get friends. Who cared if he had no friends he thought i have my hawk, his mother was done yelling at him now and she walked away towards her room her daughter and Ash's sister Delphine walked away with her mother to the room leaving Ash alone in the living room wandering what he had done wrong. five minutes of thinking and Ash got up and walked to the front door opening it and walked out. When he got outside he inhaled deeply and looked around, no on in sight good he thought he started walking and a second later echo his pet hawk flew onto his arm and then onto his back pack. Ash stopped a minute to pet Echo and to get a drink of water from a near by water fountain, as he walked he found his favorite spot to relax.
He sat down under the big sycamore tree and pulled out a old fountain pen and a piece of paper, on the paper he wrote * dear mom and sister Delphine i love you all so much but i seem to be a nuisance to you so i have decided to leave and live on my own for i think this is the best for you* he finished writing and looked up it was starting to get dark so he head home to deliver his message and then leave> When he got close to his house he started to sweat from anxiety for he was scared he might get caught and then locked up in his room for the rest of his life.He walked up to his door and placed the note beside the door, he rung the door bell and then started running running faster then his legs could take him but he did not stop. once he got a good two or thee miles away from his house he stopped and started to walk slowly for he thought he was a good enough distance to not get caught by his family. As he started to look at the new place he was walking through he saw that it was very abandoned and lonely i need to find a place to rest he thought then without hesitation he whispered to echo saying*go find us a place to sleep buddy* his hawk understood right away and started flying above him and a couple buildings sometimes swooping into one and coming out a couple seconds later> after ten minutes of this echo started to circle over what seemed to be a church, Ash called echo back and looked at the old ruined church its architecture was still holding up but it was no doubt that the thing was quite old and ugly> he walked into the church expecting to find rows of seats and a alter of god but to his surprise there was none what there was was thousands and thousands of piles of books all different colors and sizes*how ca there be so many books in one place he thought* this thought did not last long for he picked a spot to rest and fell asleep instantly>(end of part 1) hope you guys enjoy my series i am making i will make the next part soon ( go ahead and tell me ideas our things i could fix thanks :D )

Lame jk its ok

first MEAN second it only took me three minutes to do this

Ash wakes up and he looks around he is shocked at first but then remembers that he left his home and slept here for the night> Ash sighs then gets up and calls for echo who comes swooping in and lands on his shoulder,*good morning echo * beams Ash as he walks out the door of the church. Ash gets outside and sees that the streets are packed unlike lats night there are cars driving 20 mph down the road food carts just calling his name and books wanting to be read by him. But that would have to wait like the rest of the things he waned to do.Ash's stomach growls at him complaining that there is no food there yet so Ash goes of searching for a food cart with actual edible food he found that there were none.ho wished he would find something to eat. right after he thought that he could feel a strong wind picking up. it was strong enough to make a three year old girl get knocked over by it it was funny because moments later the child's mother comes out squawking her head off even though they young girl is not hurt in anyway . the one thing that caught Ash's eye was a food cart barreling down the road with a young girl chasing after it yelling dc*STOP THAT CART* he launched his body forward without thinking and landed perfectly in front of the cart. as the girl catches up she sees that Ash has the cart with him and she gives him a pleasured smile and says out loud*thank you for catching my cart i am very grateful* Ash nods and starts to walk away his embarrassment starting to kick in but to late the girl is starting to talk again and it would be rude not to reply he thought,so he turned around and looked at the girl wondering why she was talking his time. Were are you from kid the girl asked quite harshly Ash looked at her afraid of the answer he might say to her. he was never good with keeping secrets that were about him so he decided to tell her* i am Ash neveren i ran away from home to days ago i am very hungry and i am still looking for a permanent home* the girl looks at Ash in shock,did i say to much Ash thinks to himself and he starts to decide if he should run away from yet another human that might actually care for him. come here Ash the girl says now very calm, Ash slowly walks up to the girl and he know notices that her eyes are a very grey blue and it is very pretty to look at. here take this as my gift the girl says handing him a sandwich that has ham cheese and onions, oh how good it smelt and if it tasted as good as it smelled he would melt once he took the first bite of it.Ash murmurs a thank you to the girl and walks away with echo clinging onto his shoulder looking at the ham in the sandwich*oh fine *Ash whispers to his bird throwing up a piece of ham into the air, echo took chase to the ham right away with in four seconds echo had the ham and was back on Ash's shoulder,ash smiled at his pet and started to walk to find a more permanent home.(end of part two hope you enjoyed comment and ask questions all you want i will answer)

You don't have to make a topic for this. You have to post in the first topic.

ok i will do that

You need grammar and punctuation......

ok i shall fix that i finished this in three minutes with out checking so i shall do that

^^even that post lacked punctuation.

Its has good potential Jelohn, but you need to seriously work on your grammar and punctuation. Instead of rushing through and trying to finish it really quick, stop and take your time; you have to go through it a couple times, read it out loud to yourself and see if the sentences work together, see where you stop reading and put a period. Take your time, read over it, and 'poof' you have a story that is pleasing to the eye and mind!

3 minutes!? Wow. Yeah, i'm not gonna repeat what anybody else said, except that it's gonna be really bad if you only type it in three minutes. I honestly don't believe you did such a long post THAT fast, though. (Lowering people's expectations, huh, foo!?) JUst kidding :) Yeah it has a lot of potential though...



I lower people's expectations all the time, though...

I thought it was good, but I'm just mirroring what everyone else said. You need to slow down your typing and pay more attention to the grammar. It was sorta hard to understand because there were run-on sentences. But it definetly has good potential