The great 12

CHAPTER 1; Natalie, Daughter of Apollo

I sat there in Mr. D's office...again. This was the third time this week. I sat there waiting for Mr. D to show up, or anybody at all. I heard the door open and, of course, in comes my brother.

I laugh alittle, "I should've known it was you," I say looking at him.

Luis looked at me confused, "I didn't do anything this whole day."

I raised an eyebrow, "The paint bomb that went off in the Aphrodite cabin and splattered black paint all over the place? It had the intials L.S. on it," I say.

He laughed alittle then sat down, "Lucy Stoll...she had it out for the Aphrodite girls for a month now; They caught her this afternoon," he said grinning.

I rolled my eyes and just sat there. I hated feeling stupid and Luis just loved making me feel that way. I sat their wondering why we were in here. I mean, if Luis or I didn't do anything today then why were we in here? We're nobody special...just two kids of Apollo, twins unfortunately. I sighed and sat there thinking.

Finally, after what I felt was forever, Mr. D walked in. "I see you two didn't do any damage to my things...or steal them," He said as he looked at his things as he walked to his desk.

Luis grinned, "Mr. D, I would never..."

Mr. D rolled his, "I think you two hate being here as much as I hate being in this camp, so lets just cut to the chas-"

"Mr. D can you just tell us why we're in here?" I ask cutting him off.

Mr. D glared at me but kept on speaking, "I was just getting to that. We'll it appears, for some strange reason, you two are invited to Mount Olympus," Mr. D said with confusion. "Zeus has ordered 24 demi-gods, 2 from each of the 12 Main gods, to go to Mount Olympus. He specifically wanted the best of the best, but for some strange reason your father picked you two," Mr. D said with alittle bit of disgust in his voice.

I smiled brightly as Mr. D finished, "Really?" I asked at the edge of my seat.
Mr. D sighed, "Yes, yes; Really, now both of you can go now," He said sitting down behind his desk.

I smiled and ran out his office. I couldn't tell if Luis was excited as I because I ran off to cabin one to tell my best friend.

Ehhhh....this was okay but just tell me what you think....the plot will be more clear after i finish telling about the 24 demi-gods but it'll be quick. I promise.

That's pretty good! Keep writing!

"Alittle" is not a word. It's "a little".

And I don't know much about the plot.... But this sounds somewhat like a "oh no the world's gonna end" or a "tournament ohmigosh" plot.

Your grammar needs minor work.

I like it 8D Moar please. :p

Lol thanks guys and kendall one of your guesses are right

Yeah, I know....

Because loads of fanfics are predictable these days.

lol

Interesting plot... But maybe you should tell a little more about their past first? If you notice in the Percy Jackson books, he doesn't even get to camp for 3 chapters. You might be getting into the plot later in the story? I dunno. Just a suggestion.

I like it!
Continue!

Intresting.

Chapter 2: Makaria, Daughter of Zeus:
I sat on the roof of my cabin looking out into the horizon, as the sun began to set. Everything was so peaceful at this moment; no fighting, no arguing, no nothing. I watched as everyone slowly began to come for the campfire. I frowned, 'Something bad is going to happen there,' I thought. I started to think some good reason that daddy would want twenty-four demi-gods at Mout Olympus. I thought it was because he was going to reward us but pushed the thought out of my head because I didn't do anything special nor did anyone else at camp. I sighed but then felt something hit my leg, I ignored and kept still. I felt it again but this time I felt it twice.

"Makaria! You're going to have to come down sooner or later!" I heard somebody yell.

I looked down at the ground and saw, my two closet friends, Marley and Natalie. I smiled then jumped down, "What are you guys doing here?" I asked them.

Natalie looked at me, "A better question would be; Where have you been all day?
Marley and I went around looking for you but we couldn't find you."

"Yea, and we started looking for you around three o'clock," Marley added with a worried expression.

"I'm sorry, I was just wanted to be alone today. I just had alot on my mind lately." I say to them honestly.

They nodded at the same time, "It's okay," they said together.

I sighed, "We should go to the camp fire now," I say looking at everyone gathering around.
They nodded and walked over, I sighed then followed. I sat down and started to think about my life before camp. As Marley, Luis, Natalie, and the rest of their Apollo siblings lead the sing-along, I started to remember when it was just me, Luis, and Natalie.

As kids we were always inseparable. We grew up together, We lived right next to each other, and we even found out about our real dads together. I smiled as I remembered Luis fainting when he found out. I mean, we were only twelve but Natalie and I stood solid while he was on he floor. I laughed outloud and everyone stopped and looked at me.

I laughed some more, "Sorry..." I said. I saw some people roll their eyes when they turned back to focus on the Apollo kids. I sighed and kept thinking. Me, Luis, and Natalie...we even took the journey to camp together. Well technically, it wasn't a journey; If you call siting in trafic and listen to your mom scream cuss words out the window, then yea, it was one of the greatest journeys ever. I sighed and looked at Marley. I smiled, Marley was the first person I meet here. She was arguing with Mr. D about something when the three of us walked in. Mr. D didn't bother with helping us find our way around camp; so Marley took us on a tour of camp. Natalie and I became friends with her instantly, and Luis was like her brother. Even if they were half siblings they were close enough to be blood related. Marley always wanted a brother and Luis always wanted a sister that was unlike Natalie. So it worked out for them. Natalie was okay with Marley taking her place with Luis, because she really hated spending time with him. I felt someone tap on my shoulder and that's when I realized everyone left.

"Makaria? Are you okay?" I heard Luis ask as he sat next to me.

I nod, "I was just thinking about stuff, like they way you fain-"

"You're never gonna let that one go, are you?" He asked laughing.

I shaked my head, "No. You fainted though! Natalie and I were just standing there with a shocked look on our faces and then all I see is you fall backwards." I said laughing.

Luis laughed, "You know Natalie and I were invited..." He told me.

I sighed, "I don't like the idea of this, I have a feeling they're going to turn us against each other. Im going with my eldest brother, Micheal, and he is great at fighting." I say with a sigh.

"I hope that's not the case." Luis said with a sigh.

I nodded, "We should go now...back to our cabins," I say standing up.

Luis stood up, "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," He said.

I nodded then walked backed to my cabin, "Dad, please dont let it be true," I say softly thinking about turing against Micheal. I sigh and push the thought out of my mind and walk into the cabin.

I really thought about your comments and tried to fix alittle of the things you guys suggested. Elleon I tried to tell alittle bit about there past. But please give me some more feedback. I really appreciate your comments.

I really like it!
I only saw 1 or 2 mistakes.

It was nice to know that about them. :) One thing that would simply make it easier to read is adjusting your paragraphs. Since there are no tabs on forums like these, you should put two enters between your paragraphs instead of one. It would make it easier for all of us to read. :) Keep writing! I'm excited to read about their little gathering!

lol I tried indenting with spaces but when I send it. It shows up with none

You don't need to indent, but you probably need spaces between paragraphs.

yea, I went back and put the spaces

You still switch tenses.

Yay! It's a lot easier to read. Thanks!

Sorry i'll try to work on that.

I like this alot please go on

Pleasee write more;)

I really enjoyed it! There are few grammatical errors but others always pointed those out. Please keep writing!