Best Things You've Ever Said or Scenerios Of Epicness (or Failure)

So I really want a cat, and my parents are on the fence about it. So to persuade/annoy them, I got up in the middle of the night last night, and put pictures of cats everywhere in the kitchen, dining room, and laundry room. My favourite one was the picture i put on the milk jug. :3

This is on another site, so I'm Katsumi12.



[20:19:52] @ Pilot : brb have to sing to the nugget

[20:20:24] @ Katsumi12 : ??

[20:27:41] @ Katsumi12 : You have to WHAT?

Me walks into elephant enclosure.
Friend 1: So look at the pile of sh!t
Me looks around and sees a bench not seeing a couple and a child eating.
Me points at bench.
Me: YUCK WHO'D WANT TO EAT IN HERE
Friend 2: Why'd you say that(moaning pushing me out)
Friend 1: there was somone eating there
Me: Ohhhh

Haha I wasted too much time on cleverbot today.. but look, so epic xD
Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you love me ?

User: um.

Cleverbot: Will you stay with me forever?

User: No, theres someone else.

Cleverbot: Who?

User: Your best friend.

Cleverbot: The evil b*****d!

lmao xD
and another one

User: Gotta go byee.

Cleverbot: No, don't go.

User: Sorry. Il be back later.

Cleverbot: You are my love,.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: Computers don't LOL. Stupid.

User: Computers dont Love stupid.

Cleverbot: Sure they do. They just don't share DNA with their fathers.

[23:00:24] Chatswin : everyone knows that youre evil jasper
[23:00:44] Jasper : *your

Chatswin that is probably the biggest fail I've seen

ikr

Me: I love your mum.
Friend: Cool.
Me: I'm gonna marry her.
Friend: Sup dad.

[07:29:03] Backfire : Hello, FInch
[07:29:41] Jamsen : baaaaackfire...
[07:29:57] Backfire : Oh, Did I tell you that I found out there is a lady at my school named Ms. Finch?
[07:30:11] Finch : rofl
[07:30:13] Finch : it's mee
[07:30:25] Backfire : I don't think I did...and not sure if I'm using the right version of Ms xD
[07:30:42] Jamsen : haha ur a laydeeeee
[07:30:55] Backfire : Silence Wind
[07:31:51] Jamsen :
[07:31:57] Backfire : Wait
[07:32:04] Backfire : YOU'RE NOT WIND!
[07:32:12] Backfire : WHAT ARE YOU, IMPOSTER!
[07:32:40] Backfire : *glares and holds interrogation light in the imposters face*
[07:32:59] Jamsen : lol trolololololo
[07:34:09] Finch : wait was that to me jamsen
[07:34:09] Backfire : https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/306041_373322656116610_742373870_n.jpg Meanwhile in the other parts of the world
[07:34:13] Finch : the you're a lady comment
[07:34:40] Phoenix has been disconnected on Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:34 am (session timeout)
[07:34:51] * Jamsen is a b*tch... wait... He is MALE
[07:35:16] Jasper joined the chat on Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:35 am
[07:35:50] Finch : no wait but isn't it??
[07:36:02] * Jamsen took it back
[07:36:11] Backfire has logged off the chat on Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:36 am : THERE IS THE WIND! And I have to go
[07:37:35] Finch : no but jamsen
[07:37:39] Finch : i actually am a girl lol
[07:38:12] Jamsen : sh*t
[07:38:33] Finch : lmao

Day 1
E: Wanna hang out?
M: PLEASE!
Me: Nahh. *Hangs out with other friends*

Day 2
E: Can you hang out today?
M: Can you please?
Me: Sorry, but no.

and it goes on and on and on until

Day 8
Me: I think I'm going to hang out with E and M, today. *Goes outside and ignores other friends*
M: *Tackle hugs me along with another friend*
M: YAAAAY! You're here R! Finally!
E: Now, go away.
M: Seriously, get out.
Me: What?
M and E: Leave.

I was so confused . . .

This seems to happen a lot to me.

[19:34:42] carlysuerose : http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTZ41MH63hqQNwmaPFFfrlVEM0js5nVlp-PZ2qzNN8tE0Ay5qR2zQ OMG I WANT THIS AS A TATTOO
[19:34:49] Jasper : Hallo
[19:35:04] carlysuerose : i. efin. love. this
[19:35:18] carlysuerose : JASPER! IM GETTING A TATTOO
[19:35:35] Jasper : NO UR NOT
[19:35:43] SonofChaos : Lol
[19:35:49] carlysuerose : why not?
[19:35:52] pilot has been disconnected on Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:35 pm (session timeout)
[19:36:11] Jasper : YoU ArE ToO young
[19:36:46] carlysuerose : SO I CAN GET ONE WHEN IM 13?
[19:36:51] Jasper : And you just can't
[19:36:59] SonofChaos : Carly!
[19:37:02] carlysuerose : -.-
[19:37:17] Jasper : -_____-
[19:37:18] carlysuerose : YES?
[19:37:28] carlysuerose : LOOK A WHALE!
[19:37:36] SonofChaos : O.O
[19:37:38] carlysuerose : *pets whale
[19:38:01] carlysuerose : would you let me get a tattoo, Whaley?
[19:38:15] Jasper : NO
[19:38:16] carlysuerose : *Wale sound
[19:38:23] SonofChaos : Anyway, I posted in the mess hall.
[19:38:34] Wisty has been disconnected on Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:38 pm (session timeout)
[19:38:37] carlysuerose : *Cause whales live in wales
[19:38:41] Jasper : bye
[19:38:42] SonofChaos : BYE!
[19:39:16] carlysuerose : I'd just have to worry about my dad skinning me...
[19:39:33] Jasper : No Tennessee girl is going to get a tattoo
[19:39:33] SonofChaos : That would be a problem.
[19:39:40] Blaze joined the chat on Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:39 pm
[19:39:51] Jasper : Hallo
[19:39:57] SonofChaos : I LIVE RIGHT ABOVE YOU THEN!!
[19:40:01] Jasper : On my watch
[19:40:01] SonofChaos : Hiya
[19:40:08] carlysuerose : he wouldn't even let me get the cheesy smiley face ones when I was 9
[19:40:12] Jasper : dat ain't creepy
[19:40:26] SonofChaos : Really? lol.
[19:40:30] Rosalie May : .
[19:40:42] SonofChaos : It also isnt creepy you know in the first place, jasper.
[19:40:49] Jasper : hold on ima look at map
[19:40:54] carlysuerose : BLAZE! IM GETTING A TATTOO WHEN IM 13
[19:41:02] SonofChaos : DOT
[19:41:02] Jasper : She told me
[19:41:14] Jasper : NO UR NOT CARLY
[19:41:16] SonofChaos : Oh... dang
[19:41:23] carlysuerose : yes I am!
[19:41:31] Jasper : She knows where I live I think????
[19:41:34] carlysuerose : try and stop me...
[19:41:43] Trixie : 13?
[19:41:46] Jasper : NO UR NOT
[19:41:49] carlysuerose : yes...
[19:42:07] Trixie : Are you stupid or something?
[19:42:15] carlysuerose : no...
[19:42:19] SonofChaos : DAAANG!
[19:42:21] Trixie : yes
[19:42:28] Jasper : Yes...what?
[19:42:31] Trixie : why
[19:42:45] Jasper : y is SoC saying DAAAANG!???
[19:42:55] carlysuerose : because I pve the saying and I want it translated to greek
[19:43:04] carlysuerose : *love
[19:43:11] Wisty joined the chat on Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:43 pm
[19:43:13] Trixie : Hum
[19:43:18] Trixie : Wisty
[19:43:26] Wisty : I am stupid
[19:43:28] * Trixie gives bored hug
[19:43:43] carlysuerose : cuz I need to find A WAY TO REBEL SINCE MY PARENTS HAVE ME UNDER SUCH A TIGHT LEASH
[19:43:45] Wisty : Hello Trixie The Pony
[19:43:54] Trixie : No, Carly wants a tattoo at 13
[19:43:59] Jasper : NOPE, NO TATTOS FER CARLY, UNLESS I GET A hug...or $20
[19:43:59] Trixie : STUPID
[19:44:00] Wisty : REBEL THEM WITH THE DUKE!
[19:44:08] SonofChaos : REBEL WITH A GOOD TATTO!
[19:44:37] Jasper : Im on a loose leash
[19:44:44] carlysuerose : and cuz the guy with the nose ring , the ear lobe expanders, and the motorcycle moved away
[19:44:50] Jasper : kinda
[19:45:04] Jasper : NO U STAY AWAY FROM HIM
[19:45:07] carlysuerose : and cuz i need attention from my parents and the only way is to rebel
[19:45:22] Trixie : That is fine, I am fine with body jewelry
[19:45:37] Rosalie May : .
[19:45:39] carlysuerose : cuz I think it will make me popular and bad***
[19:45:49] Wisty : I dont a tatto or piercings...
[19:46:00] Jasper : NO IT WON'T
[19:46:11] williamsclan has been disconnected on Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:46 pm (session timeout)
[19:46:25] Jasper : BUT IDC UNLESS I GET A HUG OR $20
[19:46:47] SonofChaos : Yeah, just Don't. Unless its like small earings or something.
[19:46:54] carlysuerose : so I can write the answers for tests on my arm and the teachers wont notice
[19:47:02] Rosalie May : I've had my ears pierced since I was three...
[19:47:13] carlysuerose : xD plz tell me you dont believe this
[19:47:44] Jasper : believes what??
[19:47:48] John : .
[19:48:09] Wisty : Not even my ears are pierced
[19:48:19] Trixie : me neither
[19:48:24] carlysuerose : ID NEVER GET SOMETHING AS DISGUSTING AS A TATTOO
[19:48:46] carlysuerose : JUST...UGH...
[19:48:48] Trixie : tattoos give people cancer...
[19:48:55] carlysuerose : *shivers
[19:48:56] Jasper : GOOD, BUT NOW U HAVE TO GIVE ME A HUG, or $20 for making me worry
[19:48:56] Wisty : My dad has a tatto thats old enough for a drivers license
[19:49:14] carlysuerose : ....nah
[19:49:29] Jasper : Yesh
[19:49:45] Trixie : Wisty, I am on fantage...
[19:49:48] Trixie : hehehe
[19:49:49] carlysuerose : fine...ill ship it
[19:50:02] SonofChaos : Tattoos stay with ya 4 LYFE!
[19:50:15] Wisty : I CANT BECAUSE MY COMPUTER IS EVIL
[19:50:21] Jasper : Sorry not giving u my address
[19:50:22] carlysuerose : unless you get them removed
[19:50:23] SonofChaos : I feel like this is an episode of intervention. Lol
[19:50:40] Tyler The Creator joined the chat on Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:50 pm
[19:50:46] Trixie : which hurts
[19:50:49] Jasper : Hallo
[19:50:50] Tyler The Creator : 'Ello.
[19:51:06] carlysuerose : getting a tattoo in the first place hurts
[19:51:20] Jasper : Yesh,
[19:51:23] SonofChaos : Hi
[19:51:33] carlysuerose : like, almost as bad as giving birth
[19:51:43] carlysuerose : but no option for pain meds
[19:51:51] Wisty : I am eating bread
[19:51:59] Wisty : it tastes stale
[19:52:07] Jasper : I need a hug? or $20 from Carly.....
[19:52:27] carlysuerose : nice input on our discussion about tattoos wisty
[19:52:29] Jasper : *??????
[19:52:57] Wisty : Thank you, I put emotion in that
[19:53:09] Jasper : I bet u do
[19:53:27] carlysuerose : ...hug, I'm saving up for a motorcycle and some ear lobe extensions
[19:53:41] SonofChaos : XDE
[19:53:45] Wisty : I am an actress, I put emotion in almost about everything
[19:53:54] Trixie : me too
[19:54:01] Trixie : ALMOST
[19:54:12] Trixie : most of the emotion is anger...
[19:54:14] Wisty : and I am a bad lier no my friends
[19:54:23] Jasper : Oh, ok....I was going to raise it $100 dollars each day
[19:54:27] carlysuerose : get a contract, go to an audition. I made it, but my agent dumped me 2 years later.
[19:54:35] Wisty : Trixie knows if I am telling the truth or not
[19:54:41] Blaze has been disconnected on Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:54 pm (session timeout)
[19:54:42] Jasper : No hug yet?
[19:54:51] Wisty : For exaple
[19:55:12] carlysuerose : *hugs Jasper without touching him
[19:55:28] Jasper : what? Ok?
[19:55:41] Wisty : Trixie, I watched some kid today puke in a hat
[19:55:49] carlysuerose : *leaves to sanitize
[19:55:57] Wisty : Truth or Lie?
[19:56:10] carlysuerose : lie
[19:56:16] Jasper : I'll rather take the $20 now...dat wasn't a hug
[19:56:21] Wisty : Truth
[19:56:31] carlysuerose : o.o
[19:57:10] carlysuerose : *pushes a 20 over to Jasper with a stick
[19:57:14] Jasper : ...
[19:57:22] SonofChaos : Lol.
[19:57:25] Wisty : It was a nice hat man!
[19:57:32] SonofChaos : Thats cold, Carly.
[19:57:36] carlysuerose : tf...
[19:57:41] carlysuerose : xD
[19:57:41] Jasper : What...I take showers everyday...Im not dirty...
[19:57:46] Wisty : I loved the hat! Now there is puke in it
[19:58:04] Trixie : Umm, okay
[19:58:08] carlysuerose : yes, but you stink of male
[19:58:10] Jasper : Ima take a shower now, BYE
[19:58:29] Jasper : What....I just put on cologne
[19:58:36] carlysuerose : -.-
[19:58:45] carlysuerose : old spice?
[19:58:47] Literate joined the chat on Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:58 pm
[19:58:52] carlysuerose : plz no
[19:58:54] Jasper : Yes....
[19:58:54] Trixie : I thought I smelt male
[19:58:58] Jasper : Hallo
[19:59:04] Wisty : Trixie!! There is puke in the hat!
[19:59:06] Literate : heya
[19:59:09] carlysuerose : OH GODS
[19:59:17] John : .
[19:59:18] SonofChaos : Lol wow trix
[19:59:18] Jasper : what??
[19:59:23] Wisty : It was my favorite hat ever
[19:59:37] carlysuerose : NOTHING, NOTHING, GO SHOWER
[19:59:45] Rosalie May : .
[19:59:52] SonofChaos : Now put it on! it dissapearded, believe me!
[19:59:54] Jasper : Tell me, or esle i won't
[19:59:59] Jasper : *else
[20:00:14] carlysuerose : rlly, Jasper?
[20:00:25] Jasper : Hm?
[20:00:26] carlysuerose : You know, I could just do this
[20:00:32] carlysuerose has logged off the chat on Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:00 pm
[20:00:34] Jasper : No I am going to shower
[20:00:37] carlysuerose joined the chat on Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:00 pm
[20:00:40] Jasper : wow
[20:00:45] carlysuerose : see, easy
[20:00:51] carlysuerose : 'watch again
[20:00:53] carlysuerose has logged off the chat on Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:00 pm
[20:00:56] carlysuerose joined the chat on Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:00 pm
[20:00:57] Jasper : Fine ima shower
[20:01:00] Jasper has logged off the chat on Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:01 pm
[20:01:04] carlysuerose : bye
[20:01:13] carlysuerose : I'm cold....
[20:01:14] SonofChaos : wow carly.
[20:01:32] carlysuerose : what?
[20:01:56] SonofChaos : That was brutal XD
[20:02:06] carlysuerose : xD
[20:02:19] carlysuerose : this is goin on scenarios of epicness

I asked about when something was something was, my dad answered Three o' clock ago.

[22:21:49] primadonna : today my sister asked me where gonorrhea was
[22:21:53] primadonna : she thinks its in europe
[22:21:59] @ Finch : what
[22:21:59] @ Finch : omg
[22:22:00] primadonna : i told her it was next to luxembourg
[22:22:07] primadonna : im not sorry

WHERE IS GONORrHEA IN EUROPE I'M LAUGHING SO HARD,,,

[21:11:22] Asuna : I want to play, but I always fail. (DOn't you dare give me the talk about never giving up)
[21:11:26] Asuna : *don't
[21:11:29] Asuna : **DOn't
[21:11:35] Asuna : ***DOn't
[21:11:41] Asuna : ****Don't

Stupid need to get it EXACTLY correct.

There are several signs hanging down from the hallway that say out school motto in different phrases (the motto is "DO!") and they are the only thing that students can attempt to jump and touch. So my friend is really short. She's walking down the hall way and tries to touch one of the signs. She fails. She walks back and read the other side of the sign which says "You can DO it!" Her response: "NO I CAN'T! I'M TOO SHORT!!!!!!"

21:25:48] Wisty : I choked on popcorn so I got water
[21:26:04] Wisty : I then choked on the water too

lol

S:(being derpy) I'm a person!
D: You... You don't act like one

Me: I'm so pumped to impress everyone with my memorized speech!!
(Later)
Me: Umm.. So, the reason I think that, uh, sports.... Guys- no players, they shouldn't take steroids because it gives them... An unfair advantage.
(I got a D on it.:()

This isn't very epic or failure-y, but has this ever happened to you? Happens to me all the time, it's so annoying!

Me: I had the weirdest dream last night...Guess what it was about?
Mom: I have no idea.
Me: Me neither...

I always seem to wake up and never remember my dreams!

Also,

*Me and 2 friends look at this book drive thingy where our class is currently in the lead*
Friend 1: I win!
Me: Noo (Friend's name)... We win...
Friend 1: ...That's what I said...
Friend 2: GUYS IT'S NOT A COMPETITION!
Friend 1 & Me in unison: Yes it is!!

It wasn't really a competition...I feel bad.. xD

*Me and my dad walking through the baby stuff section at Walmart*
Dad: I'm so glad we don't have to buy baby stuff anymore.
Me: Well...
IT WAS A JOKE.

Lool xD

I saw a dogfight one night about 2 yrs ago. it was a bulldog against a st bernard. the bernard got killed, but had puppies.the bulldog went to eat the puppies, i found a stick and chased it off. 2 of the pups were dead, and i took the last home and named him...... wait for it.... Achilles!!

Just now on Facebook, I mentioned something about hashtags, and one of my family members asked what a hashtag was. Lol...

[20:19:35] Lewis Legend : SIIIMMMOOON

[20:19:39] Lewis Legend : OMG GMO GMO GMOM GOGMO MGO GMO MGOMGOM GOM

[20:19:43] * Lewis Legend attack hugs

[20:19:45] Lewis Legend : LOVE ME

[20:19:49] Pepper Potts : ..........Gom.

ME: I'm bored bored bored....PUPPY!

Friend: why don't you do something?

Friend: what? O.o

ME: CUTE PUPPY ON MY COMPUTER!

Okay, since I was reuniting with everyone, and trying to figure out the new parts of the site and all, I had stayed up almost all night. So when I woke up, I was out of it for a long time. So of course during lunch, my sleep deprived brain decided to be an idiot. I had noticed the oven in the snack line was gone, and I wanted to mention it, only problem was, I had forgotten what it was called. The oven had looked like a fridge, but it was suppose to the do the opposite of what a fridge did. So my brain decided to make me say, "OMG WHERE DID THE HEATER FRIDGER THINGY GO?"

So yeah...